When your kid is the worst on the team

[Anonymous]

My 8 yo just started basketball and he’s the worst on the team. But he’s making a lot of progress. He’s tall so that helps a bit but he’s not aggressive and occasionally loses his man and misses most passes. We struggle with practicing at home because he is pretty oppositional/meltdown/ocd with us (but not with coaches.).

I feel a bit guilty about dragging down the team, and wonder if the kids will start resenting him too much. He doesn’t seem to be aware of that yet. Almost all of the kids have obviously been playing for a couple years.

Maybe try a couple private lessons to see if he can catch up more? Or just pull the plug and accept he’s not a sporty kid?

[Anonymous]

You’re being silly. This is a team of 8 year olds! It’s all about learning and having fun. Your kid has every right to be there. Best advice to kid is to work hard and have a great attitude.

You don’t need to get an 8 year old private basketball lessons.

[Anonymous]

From a sports mom…he is 8. The only way for him to improve is to play.

Find him a friend in the neighborhood to play with. You are probably doing too much coaching instead of just playing.

[Anonymous]

Hm, my suggestion was going to be playing with him at home, but really playing. Love of the game is most important at 8. Of course part of loving it is feeling competent, so yeah it's good to practice.

Friend in the neighborhood sounds like a good option.

[Anonymous]

He is only 8 years old !!!

Let your son grow & mature before judging his talents or lack of talent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You’re being silly. This is a team of 8 year olds! It’s all about learning and having fun. Your kid has every right to be there. Best advice to kid is to work hard and have a great attitude.

You don’t need to get an 8 year old private basketball lessons.

To me...OP is not being silly. OP is worried about her kid being made fun of because he's the worst on the team. That is a legitimate concern and IT DOES HAPPEN! And kids quit over it. When kids are making fun of your kid, telling him to keep working hard doesn't cut it. With that said...there are a lot of valid advice given...don't "coach". Just play. Laugh with him. Make it fun. He has years to improve. Help him improve just a little teeny bit each week. You need to meet him where he's at...so if he can't catch very well. play with him and make a game with a lot of passing and catching. Have fun. What would be best if you can find a few kids that he can play with that are his level too. Kids need to have success in order to maintain interest. when you play with him...let him beat you every once in a while. Not too often to make it a big fake but keep it close. I agree he doesn't need a private coach. If he's as bad as you say, playing with mom and dad is plenty.

[Anonymous]

"My kid just started reading and he’s the worst in his class. We struggle with practicing at home because he is pretty oppositional/meltdown/ocd with us (but not with teachers.).

I feel a bit guilty about dragging down the class, and wonder if the kids will start resenting him too much. He doesn’t seem to be aware of that yet. Almost all of the kids have obviously been reading for a couple years."
Do you see how absurd this is? Parents ONLY act this way about sports. You would never dream of feeling guilty if your child needed more support academically, but if your child isn't a gifted athlete you're embarrassed and worried about "dragging down" the athletic kids.
Your child has every right to enjoy playing a sport no matter what his skill level. If he's not enjoying it then that's another story.
-Mom of kid who is always the worst on the team

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You’re being silly. This is a team of 8 year olds! It’s all about learning and having fun. Your kid has every right to be there. Best advice to kid is to work hard and have a great attitude.

You don’t need to get an 8 year old private basketball lessons.

To me...OP is not being silly. OP is worried about her kid being made fun of because he's the worst on the team. That is a legitimate concern and IT DOES HAPPEN! And kids quit over it. When kids are making fun of your kid, telling him to keep working hard doesn't cut it. With that said...there are a lot of valid advice given...don't "coach". Just play. Laugh with him. Make it fun. He has years to improve. Help him improve just a little teeny bit each week. You need to meet him where he's at...so if he can't catch very well. play with him and make a game with a lot of passing and catching. Have fun. What would be best if you can find a few kids that he can play with that are his level too. Kids need to have success in order to maintain interest. when you play with him...let him beat you every once in a while. Not too often to make it a big fake but keep it close. I agree he doesn't need a private coach. If he's as bad as you say, playing with mom and dad is plenty.

I have a worst on the team 8 year old (different sport). There are maybe 2 kids on the team who are good enough to even notice and get annoyed by it, and they are kind enough to keep their mouths shut. In a year or less they will probably move off to club/travel anyway to get away from kids like my DD.

I also have kids who are perennial all-stars in their sport and they have never ever made anyone feel bad about their play. One of my kids will complain to me if someone actively seems like they don't want to be there at practice and games, but otherwise as long as someone's trying she's happy. And even with the kids who aren't trying, she only complains to me/DH.

[Anonymous]

8 is really early. Height isn’t an advantage at all at this age but it will be later if he sticks with it and a lot can change in a year or two.

My son improved by getting the rebounds. He wasn’t a kid people passed to and we taught him to always get the rebound and it’s served him well.

[Anonymous]

He’s 8 nobody cares. Let him have fun and leave him alone ffs.

[Anonymous]

This is so ridiculous. He’s 8. Who cares if some little hot shot fellow 8 year olds feel he’s dragging them down? Most likely they’ll be done with basketball by high school anyway.

And it doesn’t even sound like anyone is making fun of him, so any negative feedback (verbal or non verbal) is coming from mom/dad.

And private coaching at this age is beyond silly. Just let the kids play.

[Anonymous]

I think it’s only a problem when a child is being disruptive, doesn’t take directions from a coach, and/or clearly doesn’t want to participate. I can’t imagine people getting upset about a kid who is listening and trying but just isn’t as far along in their skills.

That being said, I think it’s worth it for all parents to do a little research on leagues/teams before signing their kid up. Some leagues are annoyingly competitive from a young age and it’s hard when there is such a wide range of skill levels. When a couple of dads decide they’re going to put a super team of 7 year olds together, it’s tough for the rest of the teams where half the kids are just learning how to play. This seems particularly bad in basketball. There are some organizations like i9 which are great for kids who are just learning and you don’t have to deal with the super competitive parents (which is where the kids get it from).

[Anonymous]

This was my son and now they’re in high school and the boys who made fun of him are short. Life has a way of coming around.

If you’re on a rec team with jerks find a new team.

[Anonymous]

He is 8. I assume this is rec and not a team he tried out for. The whole point of rec is that anyone who signs up can play. If his coach or teammates insinuate or outright tell him he is dragging them down, it’s not a good team for you.

I have one kid who has logged many seasons as the worst kid on a rec baseball team and yet his friends still want him to sign up and play. It is hard as a parent to watch your kid struggle, but no parent is watching my kid as much as I am. My kid does not care - so any angst I have about him being the “worst” kid is all mine.

My other kid recently started “travel lite” soccer and he is one of the weaker players. His technical skills are good, but he is not aggressive in game situations and he is very self conscious about being the youngest kid on the team because of his birthday. That kid is harder because he cares and he wants to be good, but instead of being motivated to “keep up”, he shuts down and feels embarrassed. I feel like I am a part time sports psychologist with him.

[Anonymous]

If he enjoys it let him keep doing it.
My kid is not the worst on the team but if I got wind that my kid was making fun of another kid I’d be pissed and I’d shut it down.