Sticking Up for Son

[OCDMother]

My adult son is a little bit on the spectrum though never diagnosed and very learning disabled, which was diagnosed when he was a kid. As a result, he sometimes misses social cues. He is 1000 times better than he was. He’s 42. This past spring we were at a wedding and he stopped by a restaurant the day before to say hi to his cousins before the wedding, knowing it would be hard to visit at the wedding. My niece accused him of stalking because he stopped by the restaurant for 15 minutes. It’s the same niece who has blocked him on social media because 16 years ago when Facebook was new he admits he did sometimes go a little overboard but it seems much better. This niece is distant because she is understandably closer to her mother after her parents divorce, being a daughter and my brother we marry him quickly.

Obviously, I’ve been mad at this niece but it’s still my brother‘s daughter and so I want to have love for her also but of course my son comes first. So how would I gracefully bring this up to my niece? I’m sending Christmas cards and I wonder if I should say something in the Christmas card. My son sends Christmas cards, but my brother told him not to bother with this daughter of his and to just send it to the two sons. Apparently my brother‘s ex-wife feels the same way about my son because he tried to stay in touch with her after they split 15 years ago. She was a snob to my son when he saw her recently at a funeral.

I’m not gonna bother my brother’s ex-wife about it since she’s out of the family, but my niece will still be seen from time to time in the family. How would I bring it up? I can’t really scold my niece cause it’s not my child, but I’m pissed that she did this to my son who means nothing but the best when he does reach out too much and was far from being stalking.

[Anonymous]

OP your niece is a terrible person
You should have addressed this day one and never allowed her in your home again
Who does this?

[Anonymous]

Wait, do they all know he can miss social cues and why? I lived next to such person for 10 years never knowing why they acted the way they did. I almost did make it.
I'm so upset nobody said a word about possible SN. They still don't acknowledge it.

[Anonymous]

Why is this posted again?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why is this posted again?

It's a different forum title.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP your niece is a terrible person
You should have addressed this day one and never allowed her in your home again
Who does this?

Without knowing what OP's son did, how can you be so quick to judge?