He Wants To Claim The Children on his Tax Returns!

[Anonymous]

We have two children ages 11 & 13.

When the children's dad and I separated we agreed to share custody 50/ 50 without going through the court system. No one pays child support. We each cover our own expenses for the children.

Upon separation we agreed that I would claim the kids on my taxes.

I pay for their health care coverage through my job.

The kids also come to my house each day after school so their dad doesn't have to pay afterschool fees because he's not able to pick them up each day from the busstop.

Their dad also asks me to take them for extended periods of time (requests made 2 to 3 times per year) so that he can travel for personal reasons (not work). This works out to the kids being at my house slightly more days than the 50/50 schedule we agreed to throughout the year.

Their dad approached me this week saying that he wants to claim the kids on his taxes starting this year and going forward.

What is a fair way to handle his request keeping in mind that I pay more annually for the children in the form of medical/dental/vision (approx $4000 annually), more in terms of after school food/snacks (approx $2400 annually) since they come to my house each day afterschool, I'm also saving him $8,000 annually for afterschool care costs since I'm basically his free aftercare program each week. I looked at the SACC afterschool program for the kids and that's how much it would cost annually.

Based on the fact that I have them more physically plus pick up more of the costs annually I do not agree that he should be able to start claiming them starting this year. Especially since we are already 10 months into this tax year and I have already absorbed more of the costs and physical custody days.

How would you handle this request if your child's other parent approached with this request?

[Anonymous]

laugh and ask if he wants a formal custody agreement (presumably including child support)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We have two children ages 11 & 13.

When the children's dad and I separated we agreed to share custody 50/ 50 without going through the court system. No one pays child support. We each cover our own expenses for the children.

Upon separation we agreed that I would claim the kids on my taxes.

I pay for their health care coverage through my job.

The kids also come to my house each day after school so their dad doesn't have to pay afterschool fees because he's not able to pick them up each day from the busstop.

Their dad also asks me to take them for extended periods of time (requests made 2 to 3 times per year) so that he can travel for personal reasons (not work). This works out to the kids being at my house slightly more days than the 50/50 schedule we agreed to throughout the year.

Their dad approached me this week saying that he wants to claim the kids on his taxes starting this year and going forward.

What is a fair way to handle his request keeping in mind that I pay more annually for the children in the form of medical/dental/vision (approx $4000 annually), more in terms of after school food/snacks (approx $2400 annually) since they come to my house each day afterschool, I'm also saving him $8,000 annually for afterschool care costs since I'm basically his free aftercare program each week. I looked at the SACC afterschool program for the kids and that's how much it would cost annually.

Based on the fact that I have them more physically plus pick up more of the costs annually I do not agree that he should be able to start claiming them starting this year. Especially since we are already 10 months into this tax year and I have already absorbed more of the costs and physical custody days.

How would you handle this request if your child's other parent approached with this request?

In a more amicable situation, I'd run both tax returns with and without the kids, then determine the most advantageous one and split the difference. In your situation, you should get the benefit.

[Anonymous]

How much would he save in taxes?

I would say - it's none or both. You want tax credit, you pay health insurance. If you don't want to pay health insurance, I keep the tax credit.

I don't think you can really claim afterschool snacks, and that will come off as really petty.

[Anonymous]

Let him claim one and then tell him he can pay for health insurance and aftercare.

[Anonymous]

What about keeping things amicable and alternating who claims them by year? I get that's it not fair given the other issues but that's why people have formal agreements.

[Anonymous]

What is your income split? If you make a lot more then the health insurance is a wash and a lot of your points don't matter as much (i.e. you'd be paying for most of the aftercare costs in that situation).

If he makes more then I think you can just say that (1) the kids are at your house more so you're entitled to the deduction and (2) he's not paying CS so he's already getting a break in that regard.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:laugh and ask if he wants a formal custody agreement (presumably including child support)

This is the answer.

[Anonymous]

No is a complete sentence

I've found I've bent over backwards for my loser DH over the years, that even in divorce, I have a hard time not trying to meet his wishes, but I'm working on it and trying to get stronger. You too. Say NO. and make him start paying half for the extra activities.

[Anonymous]

If you wanted to be generous (not saying I think you should), could each one claim one?

[Anonymous]

You just tell him: "I pay for the medical insurance, and I provide coverage so we don't have to pay for after school care. In my rough math this saves you over $8k a year. Whatever tax breaks comes from having dependents should be going to me."

[Anonymous]

After school snacks? lol. and don't you want to see your kids after school?

But anyway, you should keep it since you pay health insurance.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You just tell him: "I pay for the medical insurance, and I provide coverage so we don't have to pay for after school care. In my rough math this saves you over $8k a year. Whatever tax breaks comes from having dependents should be going to me."

This seems reasonable and accurate.

[Anonymous]

Make sure you file taxes FIRST, or it ties up both. He can try, but IRS likes to have your signed consent.

[Anonymous]

if you have 50/50 custody, each parent should claim 1 child