Right middle school for artsy and sensitive kid

[Anonymous]

Obviously this is so personal but we are feeling pretty overwhelmed with how to proceed re middle school and would appreciate some anecdotal experiences/advice. Our kid is in 4th, in bound for Eliot-Hine. Loves art and is very creative but otherwise not a huge lover of school. On grade level for math and above for English (but I doubt necessarily at the level to test into an honors program or similar). Socially speaking, we moved to DC last year and she’s found it hard to make the best friends she wants—she’s just not the type to roll with the punches, takes things too much to heart and gets overwhelmed I think. Possibly a bit young for her age.

We don’t own our house so could stay where we are but could also move anywhere/try the lottery. It’s great to not be limited but also very hard to even know where to begin, including with the lottery. I know her but don’t have the faintest idea of what schools would be a good-ish fit. I say ish because I realize there are pros and cons to every single option and middle school is so crappy regardless. It’s also a tremendously FRAUGHT issue in our school community so I’m hesitant to casually bring it up with classmates’ parents.

Would appreciate any and all thoughts on what you might do - thanks!

[Anonymous]

I would try for ITDS, Latin, and Sojourner Truth. Or Eliot-Hine would probably be okay.

[Anonymous]

Thank you! So you would favor all of those options over moving elsewhere in the district?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Thank you! So you would favor all of those options over moving elsewhere in the district?

Nope. You should move and here's why:

1) If your kid is not outstanding academically, you really can't count on getting into a DC selective high school-- it's possible, but she'd be at a disadvantage because lots of kids are above grade in both. So if you choose a school that goes through 8th (ITDS, CHML, Capitol Hill Day School), you're building in a transition for 9th and potentially the stress of the selective high school application process. ITDS does a good job with high school applications and has a good track record overall, but the bottom line is that it adds stress, and ITDS is so small that wherever she goes to high school, she'd be going with just a few friends at best. Yes ITDS is good for artsy, sensitive kids, but that doesn't take away the high school issue.

2) Living where you live and having a girl, private middle and high school options are super not convenient. If you had a boy and liked Catholic schools that would be different. I suppose you could look at St. Anthony's and Elizabeth Seton if you do like Catholic schools. It's funny how the options for boys are so much better on this side of town.

3) So if you like Latin, lottery for both Latin campuses for 5th, and lottery for ITDS in 5th as well. If that doesn't work out, you can have her attend 5th at your current school and try again for ITDS and add Sojourner Truth which starts in 6th, and meanwhile get your ducks in a row to move. Because it seems very clear to me that moving would be best for the kid you describe.

[Anonymous]

Eliot Hine has a lovely art studio and art teacher. Just sayin’.

[Anonymous]

Move where specifically?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Move where specifically?

I think it depends on your budget, your logistics (work commute? Non-school activities) and what kind of school you'd like her to attend. Try to do a little research on your own so that people can actually be helpful instead of guessing what you want.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Move where specifically?

You'll get better responses if you do a little research on your own first, rather than dumping your problem and curtly expecting a good answer.

The established non-lottery high school in DC is Jackson-Reed. You could also look into MacArthur. In the burbs, Blair and Whitman and Bethesda-Chevy Chase. And the Arlington and Alexandria high schools. There are not that many by-right high schools in this area. Take some time on your own to see which feels like a good fit, and then circle back to here and the MoCo and VA school boards.

[Anonymous]

OP here - thanks for this!!

By the way, “move where specifically” wasn’t me but it’s a great question. If we were to move across town (which would actually be fine for the family in terms of parent commute and the other factors mentioned), we wondered about Hardy since it seems to be smaller / more personal. My husband actually works in Bethesda and reverse commutes so I guess we could consider there but the schools seem massively overcrowded with giant classes and I don’t really want to leave the city.

[Anonymous]

I am a big proponent of IB middles (my kid is super happy at SH), but from how you describe your kid… I think she’d be much better off at ITDS than EH (or SH or Deal or Hardy). Yes, you’ll need to deal with the HS transition, but ITDS is great at that and your kid might be a totally different kid by then (especially if some of the issue is being young/new).

[Anonymous]

Have you considered having her repeat 5th or 6th, if you transition elsewhere? Montgomery County has a Sept 1 cutoff and DCPS has a Sept 30 cutoff, so if she's a September birthday it might be possible.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here - thanks for this!!

By the way, “move where specifically” wasn’t me but it’s a great question. If we were to move across town (which would actually be fine for the family in terms of parent commute and the other factors mentioned), we wondered about Hardy since it seems to be smaller / more personal. My husband actually works in Bethesda and reverse commutes so I guess we could consider there but the schools seem massively overcrowded with giant classes and I don’t really want to leave the city.

I think you need to really look over the different schools' websites and see what they say about this specific issue rather than going on how things "seem". Some keep all the 6th graders in little groups so that they have a more manageable social world.

And I think if you live in Takoma Park near the metro you won't really feel like you've totally left the city.

[Anonymous]

NP in similar situation. Are there any small, hidden gem by-rights middle schools in the close in suburbs? Ignoring high schools for the sake of discussion

[Anonymous]

This is only a “fraught” discussion if you blast out of the gate with assumptions and insults about the IB MS. If you are more open mindef then you’ll get more information. I’ll say that if your concerns are primarily social I truly don’t think there’s any reason to believe EH is a worse option. Because the kids walk to school and the school is small, they develop good friendships.

[Anonymous]

If you strike out in the lottery and have flexibility to move, embrace it. Don’t rule out the close-in schools in Montgomery County. We live in the city, our son is at Latin (2nd st), but many of our friends have kids thriving in MS. Tons of activities, arts programs, etc.
The cruel reality is that there are very few decent MS and HS options in DC. Private school becomes incredibly competitive to get into in MS even if you have money because there are A LOT of families in this city that settle for DCPS or charter in ES before going private in 5th and 6th grade. You would be foolish to send your kid to a subpar DC school just because you insist on staying in the city.