Is bullying worse in public?

[Anonymous]

We have a 4th grader who has been subjected to extensive bullying since the start of 3rd grade. We would like to move him to public (no other privates in our area), but friends and family say the bullying will only be worse there. I tend to agree, but at the same time, leaving him at a school that's damaging him emotionally isn't a solution. Is moving to public a worthwhile risk?

[Anonymous]

I don't think bullying is worse in public school per se. The administration really won't do anything about it, but it sounds like your private school isn't doing anything either. One thing about public school is that there are more potential friend options. Is the bullying related to a specific situation or do you have a kid who is likely to be picked on regardless of what school they are at?

[Anonymous]

Our child left a private school after 3rd grade for bullying and has had a much better experience in public school. I attribute this to the larger size class which allowed kids to find their people. In the small private, it was really easy for 1-2 kids to dictate social dynamics and friendships. In public school, you didn’t have to interact with kids you didn’t like. There were lots of kids to choose from.

[Anonymous]

It just depends on the group of kids, parents and the teacher/admin. I owuld leave a private for bullying.

[Anonymous]

No. Classes are bigger and there are more kids with differences, whether they be in ability or socioeconomic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't think bullying is worse in public school per se. The administration really won't do anything about it, but it sounds like your private school isn't doing anything either. One thing about public school is that there are more potential friend options. Is the bullying related to a specific situation or do you have a kid who is likely to be picked on regardless of what school they are at?

unlike private, public schools are required by law to address bullying. I'm not saying it will work, but don't assume they won't do anything

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Our child left a private school after 3rd grade for bullying and has had a much better experience in public school. I attribute this to the larger size class which allowed kids to find their people. In the small private, it was really easy for 1-2 kids to dictate social dynamics and friendships. In public school, you didn’t have to interact with kids you didn’t like. There were lots of kids to choose from.

Plus, the county requires restorative justice be applied to actionable incidences. This wholistic approach will be therapeutic to both victim and alleged implementer alike in public school.

[Anonymous]

I doubt it. You don’t have an entire school full of entitled kids. My kids have been in public for 9 years and the only case of bullying I’ve heard is the jerk kid who wears a suit everyday. Mostly I hear stories about how a sped kid did something egregious and the kids are extra nice to them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't think bullying is worse in public school per se. The administration really won't do anything about it, but it sounds like your private school isn't doing anything either. One thing about public school is that there are more potential friend options. Is the bullying related to a specific situation or do you have a kid who is likely to be picked on regardless of what school they are at?

unlike private, public schools are required by law to address bullying. I'm not saying it will work, but don't assume they won't do anything

NP. My kids had various issues happen throughout their time in public ES. Not necessarily bullying, but being hit or having lunch stolen or the like in one-off experiences from different kids. The "addressing it" was typically a talking-to. In the case of one kid who basically bullied an entire class the addressing it was a paraprofessional being assigned to the kid. It was all...really not effective.

But if the private won't counsel out bullies then they aren't being any more effective.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our child left a private school after 3rd grade for bullying and has had a much better experience in public school. I attribute this to the larger size class which allowed kids to find their people. In the small private, it was really easy for 1-2 kids to dictate social dynamics and friendships. In public school, you didn’t have to interact with kids you didn’t like. There were lots of kids to choose from.

Plus, the county requires restorative justice be applied to actionable incidences. This wholistic approach will be therapeutic to both victim and alleged implementer alike in public school.

The part about restorative justice - that's sarcasm, right? Worst disciplinary system ever.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We have a 4th grader who has been subjected to extensive bullying since the start of 3rd grade. We would like to move him to public (no other privates in our area), but friends and family say the bullying will only be worse there. I tend to agree, but at the same time, leaving him at a school that's damaging him emotionally isn't a solution. Is moving to public a worthwhile risk?

Only get advice from people who attend said publics. Your friends and family who dont know the schools at all are generalizing. It could be better, it could be the same. Not nearly as many rich kids in most public schools, so being poor or middle class will not necessarily hurt you socially.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Our child left a private school after 3rd grade for bullying and has had a much better experience in public school. I attribute this to the larger size class which allowed kids to find their people. In the small private, it was really easy for 1-2 kids to dictate social dynamics and friendships. In public school, you didn’t have to interact with kids you didn’t like. There were lots of kids to choose from.

This. When my kids were in a private, there were only 14-16 boys in their section. For one of my kids, one kid dominated what sports, movies etc they should like. When my kids moved to public schools, there were many different social groups, sports, clubs and so on.

[Anonymous]

This is one of those areas that is really so school specific. You do know your current school isn't working, so I would try the alternative.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Our child left a private school after 3rd grade for bullying and has had a much better experience in public school. I attribute this to the larger size class which allowed kids to find their people. In the small private, it was really easy for 1-2 kids to dictate social dynamics and friendships. In public school, you didn’t have to interact with kids you didn’t like. There were lots of kids to choose from.

This is usually correct.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our child left a private school after 3rd grade for bullying and has had a much better experience in public school. I attribute this to the larger size class which allowed kids to find their people. In the small private, it was really easy for 1-2 kids to dictate social dynamics and friendships. In public school, you didn’t have to interact with kids you didn’t like. There were lots of kids to choose from.

This is usually correct.

+1
The larger size of public schools can work in your favor in this regard. Bullying can happen anywhere, but in our large public (in FCPS) neither of my kids nor any of their friends that I'm close with the parents have raised bullying issues with me. When I ask them about whether there's bullying in school they say there isn't (not that they would necessarily know for everyone). There's some explicit anti-bullying/being a good friend/good bystander programming too that I think stems a lot of it before it starts at the elementary school age. I know you can request a room change/put a kid on the list that you don't want your kid to be in the same class with if bullying did arise, but I haven't seen it as an issue.