Which custody arrangement would you prioritize?

[Anonymous]

Child’s parents have roughly 75/25 custody.

Child attends school near Parent A with 75 custody, spends about 2 days a week with Parent B

Parent A and Parent B live about a half hour away from each other

As it stands now, Child will often spend two weekdays with Parent B, which means Child misses out on at least a half-hour of sleep two days a week that they would get at Parent A’s house, in order to drive to and make it to school on time

Parent A isn’t willing to allow Child to exclusively spend Friday and Saturday nights during the school year with Parent B because they feel they will then miss out on all of the fun things that happen on the weekend that are harder to do at the end of a school day during the week

What should be prioritized? The routine of Child waking up in close proximity to school on weekdays during the school year? Or, prioritizing Parent A having quality time with Child during the weekend at the expense of this routine?

[Anonymous]

How old is the child? This is an important factor

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How old is the child? This is an important factor

Sorry! Child is 6.

[Anonymous]

I'd likely split the difference and have the kid spending Thursday and Friday nights with parent B.

[Anonymous]

So if you aren't willing to give up the weekends (which is totally reasonable) and you are angry that they get up 30 minutes early to drive the longer distance to school what are you proposing? No time for the other parent? A 30 minutes commute when the child stays with the out of town parent doesn't sound that unreasonable. Travel time is just a part of life.

[Anonymous]

I think the arrangement is fine.

Otherwise, Parent A gets all the hard work and chores during the week, and Parent B would get to be Disney Dad/Mom on the weekends only with all the fun stuff, which is BS and creates conflict. Child would start to associate Parent A with all work, discipline, rules, and Parent B with all fun.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think the arrangement is fine.

Otherwise, Parent A gets all the hard work and chores during the week, and Parent B would get to be Disney Dad/Mom on the weekends only with all the fun stuff, which is BS and creates conflict. Child would start to associate Parent A with all work, discipline, rules, and Parent B with all fun.

But with the current arrangement, Parent A gets all the weekends already.

[Anonymous]

30-40 minutes isn’t an unreasonable commute to school- especially just a couple of days per week. Many kids that go to private/magnet schools or ride a public school bus have longer commutes on a daily basis.

At 6 years old it’s up to the parent with custody those days to make sure the child gets adequate sleep, which may mean a slightly earlier bedtime those days.

[Anonymous]

30 min is not a reason to deprive a parent of custody time.

[Anonymous]

I think Parent A should establish a bedtime that allows the child to wake up at a time that allows them to travel from either house.

Then I would vote for every Thursday, and every other Friday and Saturday night.

Or every Thursday/Friday.

Either way weekends are shared equally.

[Anonymous]

30 minutes to commute to school is normal. Do 50/50 and stop looking for nonsense reasons to deprive your child of equal time with both parents.

[Anonymous]

50-50. Child goes to bed earlier or sleeps in car. That’s not a reason to take full custody.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think Parent A should establish a bedtime that allows the child to wake up at a time that allows them to travel from either house.

Then I would vote for every Thursday, and every other Friday and Saturday night.

Or every Thursday/Friday.

Either way weekends are shared equally.

That’s absurd and kid get no time with parent.

[Anonymous]

My ex and I live within 2 miles of each other, but our child's school is between 20 to 25 minutes away from us. I don't think the 30-minute ride is that big a deal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:30 minutes to commute to school is normal. Do 50/50 and stop looking for nonsense reasons to deprive your child of equal time with both parents.

+1