Are most private moms SAH?

[Anonymous]

Our PTO only schedules meetings during the work day. I can't tell if working moms are unwelcome, it's just convenient, or whatever. I feel very left out, though.

[Anonymous]

Do they offer a zoom option? Is that for general meetings?

[Anonymous]

There are a lot of volunteer opportunities that I cannot participate in because they take place during the work day, but I sign up for things whenever I can. Meeting times move around to accommodate parents who work, but that is actually silly because those of us who work end up making a small percentage of the meetings whereas the people with more flexible jobs or SAH can make all of them.

[Anonymous]

I take time off work and then pick and choose what seems worthwhile. That said, usually meetings are early in the day so I can just go into work an a little late. It's the class party or field day volunteering that takes more of a chunk, but those are fun and honestly - there are only a few years of elementary before they don't need parents present (vs just donating food).

[Anonymous]

Our PTO tried evening meetings and morning meetings and we had much better turn out (quality and quantity) than the evening. The evening ones brought out people who wanted to complain. The morning meetings brought people who wanted to meet people and/or get involved.
But that's unrelated to your question but working moms are just as needed and wanted. If you can't come to a meeting, you can still sign up or, better yet, reach out to the president and volunteer to take a job. The president will know the things that work better for a working mom.

[Anonymous]

Thanks. I don't mind taking a half day off to volunteer, but it's hard to justify coming in late from a coffee shop meeting when I'm coming and going for doctor and dentist visits as well, you know?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Thanks. I don't mind taking a half day off to volunteer, but it's hard to justify coming in late from a coffee shop meeting when I'm coming and going for doctor and dentist visits as well, you know?

Can your partner do some of the doctor and dentist visits? That's how I make time for the PTO - DH does the every-6-week-orthodontist visits and some of the other things like that. And then I use my flexible schedule to make volunteering/meetings work.

[Anonymous]

The answer to your question is yes and it's very difficult for full time working parents to have the same level of engagement

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The answer to your question is yes and it's very difficult for full time working parents to have the same level of engagement

Depends on the school. My kid is at Norwood and I can think of only one mom in the entire grade who doesn’t work. In fact, several of the moms have more demanding jobs than their spouses, so I see the dads at school functions more often than the moms.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thanks. I don't mind taking a half day off to volunteer, but it's hard to justify coming in late from a coffee shop meeting when I'm coming and going for doctor and dentist visits as well, you know?

Can your partner do some of the doctor and dentist visits? That's how I make time for the PTO - DH does the every-6-week-orthodontist visits and some of the other things like that. And then I use my flexible schedule to make volunteering/meetings work.

Funny - my partner does all the dentist/orthodontist appointments (which tend to be very early thanks to our providers). He'll also do the early hours drop-in sick appointments. We didn't plan it so that I could attend school meetings but I guess it does help me when it comes to showing up late.

OP - it also might help to know that if you attend a bunch in the first year, it helps you understand the landscape (and meet people) so that as you continue in future years, it's easier to figure out which ones you want to go to (and also which ones cover something you probably already know).

[Anonymous]

I and most of the parents I know work full time. Maybe some of them have flexible schedules though. I’d be able to attend (though I don’t).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The answer to your question is yes and it's very difficult for full time working parents to have the same level of engagement

This was not our experience at any of our children's schools. Montessori, K-8, and two different highly competitive DC private high schools. Very few parents were SAHM at these schools.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I and most of the parents I know work full time. Maybe some of them have flexible schedules though. I’d be able to attend (though I don’t).

This - it's the flexible schedule that makes the difference for me. Even more flexible post-COVID but I ended up attending fewer meetings because most covered things I already knew, and our children were at an age where in person help was not needed as frequently.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The answer to your question is yes and it's very difficult for full time working parents to have the same level of engagement

Not at our school. A few are, but even they have outside commitments. We alternate morning and even ing meetings and zoom for all. "All parent/guardian" meetings are few and far between and always in the evening.

The reality is that meetings are hard for everyone to attend, including SAHP (who usually don't have regular sitters). Mornings and evening are busy whether you work or are the primary one responsible for getting the kids fed and to and from all the places they need to be, including sometimes multiple schools. If meetings were actually set up to fit the schedule of SAHPs, they'd be lunch meetings, but that rarely works for anyone else.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Our PTO only schedules meetings during the work day. I can't tell if working moms are unwelcome, it's just convenient, or whatever. I feel very left out, though.

I would say half are at the Cathedral schools. 8am meetings are early enough many attend and leave if they have to. You are definitely welcome - it is just most convenient for most as evenings can be even more of a challenge for families with sports and other activity pick ups and dinner etc... and getting babysitters for those children needing them still. School staff attends these as well and their hours are generally during the day.