Edited personal statement essays

[Anonymous]

Worried that my kids personal statement sounds a bit too polished.

Paid for a private essay coach and I can’t tell if this type of polish is normal? What’s the best way to check?

[Anonymous]

Have your child rewrite it.

[Anonymous]

Look for examples of essays written by precocious admits to prestigious schools and compare.

https://uvamagazine.org/articles/class_of_2025_admission_essays

Dump the main points into a Chat GPT and see what it produces.

Read one of your kid's graded English assignments.

Triangulating across, do you hear your DC's voice?

[Anonymous]

Just use AI and prompt it to humanize the essay.

[Anonymous]

Part of the issue my kid is having is that once you have to stay within confines of 100 or 250 words, there is so much editing it changes some sentence strutures and doesn't sounds as much like him. He said he's tried just leaving parts out but then the "story" doesn't seem complete so left with the editing to tighten up word limits.

[Anonymous]

OP, does it sound even remotely like your child? It should! Maybe have him or her read it out loud to see if it sounds natural.

And for the later PP, the main essay is 650 words -- plenty of space to write. The short 150-200 word supplementals don't need to be masterpieces. They mostly just need to answer the question.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Part of the issue my kid is having is that once you have to stay within confines of 100 or 250 words, there is so much editing it changes some sentence strutures and doesn't sounds as much like him. He said he's tried just leaving parts out but then the "story" doesn't seem complete so left with the editing to tighten up word limits.

Here too.

[Anonymous]

Go back to an earlier draft, before the editing, and edit it yourself. Then it will sound like you because it is you, not someone you paid to sound like you.

I don’t even know why colleges ask for these anymore.

[Anonymous]

By "polished," you mean the coach contributed wording? That is not editing in academic terms, that is writing. Ask the kids if the phrasing is his. If so, highlight areas that seem too polished to. If not, ho back to a draft before the coaching and ask for your money back. Writing for the student under the guise of "polishing" is not coaching.

To the AI person. No. Just no.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:By "polished," you mean the coach contributed wording? That is not editing in academic terms, that is writing. Ask the kids if the phrasing is his. If so, highlight areas that seem too polished to. If not, ho back to a draft before the coaching and ask for your money back. Writing for the student under the guise of "polishing" is not coaching.

To the AI person. No. Just no.

yes, i don't get this. My kids (twins) have a coach as do many of their friends. None of these people do actual writing. They edit and they make suggestions. Are their coaches that just write the essays?

[Anonymous]

Coach. 😂

[Anonymous]

I can't believe people are suggesting using AI! Why bother sending your kids to college at all if you encourage them to check out their brains before they even got through the door?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I can't believe people are suggesting using AI! Why bother sending your kids to college at all if you encourage them to check out their brains before they even got through the door?

Because learning how to effectively use AI will soon become one of the most important skills?

https://www.wsj.com/us-news/education/colleges-race-to-ready-students-for-the-ai-workplace-cc936e5b

College students are desperate to add a new skill to their résumés: artificial intelligence.

The rise of generative AI in the workplace and students’ demands for more hirable talents are driving schools to revamp courses and add specialized degrees at speeds rarely seen in higher education. Schools are even going so far as to emphasize that all undergraduates get a taste of the tech, teaching them how to use AI in a given field—as well as its failings and unethical applications.

[Anonymous]

There is a fine line between editing and contributing wording. Editing is NOT proofreading. Editing is adjusting wording to be more clear and concise. Editing is revising - you can edit your own work or someone else may edit it (or suggest edits). But coaches/tutors are absolutely editing. If anyone thinks that they are truly just cheering kids on and motivating them to get it done, then you are crazy. Polish comes from continually polishing...revising well can do this. All the examples out there of "essays that worked" are polished. It's probably fine. This is what you paid for when you decided to use a coach. It essentially doesn't matter. The school will not be able to tell if the information is accurate (i.e., it's not about your child singlehandidly saving your community from ruin or something like that).

[Anonymous]

PP here - meant "The school will not be able to tell, ASSUMING THE information is accurate (i.e., it's not about your child singlehandidly saving your community from ruin or something like that).