Leaving the house without pull ups

[Anonymous]

We've been training now 3yo for about 3 months. We're struggling to get her to self initiate but whilst having one or two accidents a day at home, we're mostly successful taking her at regular intervals.

However, as a SAHM for myself and her we need to head out most days even for short periods, especially after a long time. My question is, when in the training process did you leave the house without pull ups, we have the occasional success but also lots of accidents when out.

She's willing and engaged, but I was wondering if we should have ditched these or if we're fine to have this extra protection for the next few months when she starts figuring it out more at home.

[Anonymous]

Sorry for early morning post, we've ditched any pull ups or diapers at home a couple of weeks ago, meaning she's waking up earlier with a wet bed, so we are in the early wake ups and laundry phase of mornings....

[Anonymous]

I experimented with leaving the house in undies as soon as we had a morning free of accidents one time basically. Just make sure you’re going somewhere it’s not too disruptive; we went to playgrounds within five blocks of us so no one had accidents indoors and it was easy to immediately turn around and head home when needed. (My kid had one accident on the playground after refusing to go potty at home; realized accidents meant we left the playground and never did it again.)

I did not take away overnight pull-ups/diapers until the child had been consistently dry at night in pull-ups for at least a week. Has your kid ever been dry all night? If not, I would put her back in pull-ups at night and only focus on day training.

[Anonymous]

Op here thanks, I like the idea of walking distance, and we might give it a try.

We've had no dry nights and only the occasional shorter nap so far, but I was told to not use them at home full stop and night training would happen soon after.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here thanks, I like the idea of walking distance, and we might give it a try.

We've had no dry nights and only the occasional shorter nap so far, but I was told to not use them at home full stop and night training would happen soon after.

I thought the night training is possible thing was a lie? I will say, plenty of sleep made potty training go way better for me — my youngest is mostly done but still has the occasional accident if he’s really tired.

[Anonymous]

I never used them. Sounds like they are a crutch. At 3, she should be ready. Take her out in undies and know that when you are in the back corner of target as far from the bathroom as possible, she will have to go.

[Anonymous]

Op here . Exactly at 3 she should be ready, and she does really try, there's just not a time she's self identified her need to go to the toilet yet which means we're taking her every hour, but she's always eager and mostly succeeds with her regularity. We do take her to toilets in target and in the park at regular intervals when out still and she has the same success as at home, but as we're still having accidents these happen when out and I'd dreaded changing.

I was told to do night training the same time as day training, is this harder?

[Anonymous]

My kids were all several years longer to stay dry at night than during the day. They’re really separate things. You don’t need to let her sleep in her own urine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here . Exactly at 3 she should be ready, and she does really try, there's just not a time she's self identified her need to go to the toilet yet which means we're taking her every hour, but she's always eager and mostly succeeds with her regularity. We do take her to toilets in target and in the park at regular intervals when out still and she has the same success as at home, but as we're still having accidents these happen when out and I'd dreaded changing.

I was told to do night training the same time as day training, is this harder?

Who told you this? My understanding (but from the citation less internet so like maybe I’m wrong) was that night train was unconscious so there was no point trying to force it. My personal experience was: kid 1 day trained entirely by 2.5, started waking up dry and fully night trained on her third birthday; kid 2 was fully day trained by 2.5 and started waking up dry around 2 but still has occasional night accidents at 2.5. Neither out of pull-ups at night until they were dry in pull-ups for multiple nights running so I think some kids naturally night train and the same time as day whereas others don’t. I wouldn’t try to force it; sounds miserable and exhausting for both parent and kid.

[Anonymous]

Day and night training are two completely different things. Day can be trained. Night is neurological and cannot. Focus on day, keep pull-ups at night and wait. My 8 yo is still in pull-ups at night. Pediatrician says this is completely normal.

[Anonymous]

Yeah seriously, who told you to do night training at the same time?? That sounds like a terrible idea.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Day and night training are two completely different things. Day can be trained. Night is neurological and cannot. Focus on day, keep pull-ups at night and wait. My 8 yo is still in pull-ups at night. Pediatrician says this is completely normal.

Well, in fairness I think 8 would be the very far of the range. Not necessarily a problem, but certainly not the middle of the curve.

[Anonymous]

Op here - I was talking to some other parents who said that they got rid of them at night and suddenly it worked, so was expecting the same thing to happen, I assumed they were related, hence why I'm desperate to get rid of them on trips out even though we're still not fully accident free at home yet.

She does enjoy her independence even though she's not successful, we've tried to get rid of pull ups when out by calling them for babies, but we've still had accidents on lots of trips, even though she doesn't want to wear them. How do we go back on putting her in them in the night?

[Anonymous]

“Hey, Larla, let’s do a pull up at night so if your body needs to pee while you’re sleeping it doesn’t make a big mess in your bed.” And then encourage her to go to the bathroom as soon as she gets up. One of my kids was dry at night for a long time and I didn’t realize because she would stay in bed and pee in the pull up while awake rather than get up.

[Anonymous]

Agree with others op, I would personally at your point forget night training and wear pull ups for naps and night. This gives her the chance to get good sleep and focus on the day time. Some kids can do night training at the same time and it is ideal, but it didn't work for either of my kids. And that was just fine, they potty trained during the day early and then wore diapers at night until they were truly ready. For my older son that was a little over 4 probably - he initiated and wanted to do it, we put a pad down and took him before we went to bed each night and after a few nights he got it. But earlier than that he wasn't ready. Our 3 year old has been potty trained during the day a year but at night still needs the diaper. He asked one time recently so we tried it but he wasn't ready.

There are different "schools of thought" if you will here on night training - some will tell you you need to do it at the same time, attend to it and stick with it and help them through it. Some will tell you that it is a biological thing that happens at different ages for different kids and you can't force it. I think it is probably a mix of both. Kids will be ready at different times, you don't want to wait forever without trying to push through and help them do it but you don't have to do it at the same time as day training. It is really exhausting for them.

The book Oh Crap is helpful. I would ditch them completely for day - do small trips, practice, work up to it. And then let her have breaks at nap and night.