Teenager about to inherit money outside a trust

[Anonymous]

An elderly relative who is in poor health has named me as estate executor. I also, if they become mentally unfit, will have power of attorney. I have been made privy to the will, which will leave about $100k to my DC. There are no strings attached, no restrictions on when the money can be accessed. My teen is struggling with anxiety now and making very poor decisions.

It took nearly 2 years to find a therapist for this child. The therapist recently told my child — in the grand scheme of things that grades don’t matter. Unfortunately my child has used that to basically stop doing any work for school. There are no known drug issues — just a desire to drop out of anything they do not want to do. The idea of a 16yo who wants to drop out of high school having unrestricted access to $100k is a scary thought.

The relative is in Michigan and has several health issues. He does not want to make changes because he feels it is a hassle. He is in Michigan, we are in Virginia.

I’m guessing that as executor I have no authority to create a trust to put this forthcoming inheritance in. I also assume that I can do nothing as the minor’s parent. I know all bets are off if they inherit at 18y.

Advice?

My relative has been hospitalized twice this year. He may not make it to the end of the year, but his mother went back and forth with illness until she was 100, so who knows how long he has. I hope he’s around and can enjoy life a bit more, but he tells me not to plan on it (he has congestive heart and lung issues). I’d rather he spent his last penny before he dies.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:An elderly relative who is in poor health has named me as estate executor. I also, if they become mentally unfit, will have power of attorney. I have been made privy to the will, which will leave about $100k to my DC. There are no strings attached, no restrictions on when the money can be accessed. My teen is struggling with anxiety now and making very poor decisions.

It took nearly 2 years to find a therapist for this child. The therapist recently told my child — in the grand scheme of things that grades don’t matter. Unfortunately my child has used that to basically stop doing any work for school. There are no known drug issues — just a desire to drop out of anything they do not want to do. The idea of a 16yo who wants to drop out of high school having unrestricted access to $100k is a scary thought.

The relative is in Michigan and has several health issues. He does not want to make changes because he feels it is a hassle. He is in Michigan, we are in Virginia.

I’m guessing that as executor I have no authority to create a trust to put this forthcoming inheritance in. I also assume that I can do nothing as the minor’s parent. I know all bets are off if they inherit at 18y.

Advice?

My relative has been hospitalized twice this year. He may not make it to the end of the year, but his mother went back and forth with illness until she was 100, so who knows how long he has. I hope he’s around and can enjoy life a bit more, but he tells me not to plan on it (he has congestive heart and lung issues). I’d rather he spent his last penny before he dies.

I should add that my relative is 90y.

[Anonymous]

See if you can find (and coordinate and pay) a Michigan lawyer to make a trust for your child. I bet if you spoon feed it to your relative, he will sign. He just doesn’t want the hassle (understandable.)

[Anonymous]

My mom was in failing health and I was able to make a codicil to her will during the last year of life. All she needed to do was sign the papers in front of the lawyer. Perhaps your relative will agree to this if you make all of the arrangements. Within a trust you can set up conditions about what the money may be used for or what age the kid may have access to it. If that is not possible, you might be able to set up an account that prevents access until age 18. That is not really going to help as much.

[Anonymous]

Talk to the relative again and do the paperwork for them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Talk to the relative again and do the paperwork for them.

+1
100k in trust can do a lot of good for a kid on this trajectory; 100k not in trust can do a lot of harm. I would do all the work necessary to make this happen. Good luck!

[Anonymous]

Is the legal/financial instrument called a codicil as mentioned above?

[Anonymous]

Op, stop with the idea that you will/should financially manage - what will be, an adult.

In 2 years from now. A short amount of time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op, stop with the idea that you will/should financially manage - what will be, an adult.

In 2 years from now. A short amount of time.

Seriously? Your will just hands the inheritance over to your kids in a lump sum, no matter what age they are?

My kids are level-headed and not at all materialistic, and they'll still get percentages on milestone birthdays.

[Anonymous]

If the relative dies before the kid is 18, you can set up a trust as the parent.

If your kid is 18, let them have the money. If your kid fails and spends it all, consider it a very expensive lesson from the school of hard knocks.

Don't do anything controlling for slimy to control your adult child. The operative word is "adult". He will be an adult and he has to have the choice and opportunity to make mistakes, even big ones.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is the legal/financial instrument called a codicil as mentioned above?

A codicil is an amendment to a will. ( I am not a lawyer nor do I play one on tv.) I suggest that you talk to an actual lawyer about what is possible in your situation. In my case, I was able to get my mom to sign a codicil that was beneficial with regard to estate tax planning.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op, stop with the idea that you will/should financially manage - what will be, an adult.

In 2 years from now. A short amount of time.

Seriously? Your will just hands the inheritance over to your kids in a lump sum, no matter what age they are?

My kids are level-headed and not at all materialistic, and they'll still get percentages on milestone birthdays.

DP

This is not OP's will. My will has ages, but I know I cannot control other people's wills. And to try to control other people's dying wishes is very manipulative.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op, stop with the idea that you will/should financially manage - what will be, an adult.

In 2 years from now. A short amount of time.

Seriously? Your will just hands the inheritance over to your kids in a lump sum, no matter what age they are?

My kids are level-headed and not at all materialistic, and they'll still get percentages on milestone birthdays.

DP

This is not OP's will. My will has ages, but I know I cannot control other people's wills. And to try to control other people's dying wishes is very manipulative.

I'm aware that it's not OP's will, but it's also a bad idea, and if OP can fix it with virtually no effort on the relative's part, where's the harm? The intention was kindly meant, I'm sure, and it's just a way to help them achieve the good end they intended. It's hardly manipulative.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op, stop with the idea that you will/should financially manage - what will be, an adult.

In 2 years from now. A short amount of time.

That amount of money at 18 could be trajectory changing. Not when the person is older, because by then you have sense and know that this money won't last your whole life. It would be the act of a loving parent to help their child. DCUM aversion to being judged as a helicopter seems to drive most parental decisions evidently by this nonsensical comment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op, stop with the idea that you will/should financially manage - what will be, an adult.

In 2 years from now. A short amount of time.

Seriously? Your will just hands the inheritance over to your kids in a lump sum, no matter what age they are?

My kids are level-headed and not at all materialistic, and they'll still get percentages on milestone birthdays.

DP

This is not OP's will. My will has ages, but I know I cannot control other people's wills. And to try to control other people's dying wishes is very manipulative.

Let’s not get dramatic here. The OP is trying to influence, not control, how a relatively small (though large to a teenager) amount of money is transferred to his own child. It’s not some forgotten Roy child coming in and trying to get a controlling share of Waystar Royco.