When did you stop worrying about sometimes missing bedtime

[Anonymous]

So many summer events end late (outdoor movies and concerts, fireworks etc). If you overall are a person that prioritized bedtime for your kid, at what age did you say f-it more and stop worrying about them going to bed at 10pm instead of 8pm (for example) to do more fun things

My kids current ages are 7, 5, and 3. The 7yo seems to actually handle tiredness the worst with massive meltdowns the next day

[Anonymous]

I mean, in the summer I find it easy to make bedtime exceptions because kids can sleep in the next day. Even if they have camp, they can be late or can get ready super quick. It's not like school.

Similar with weekends-- easy to stay out late on Friday or Saturday and make it up with a lazy weekend morning.

Once my kids were 5 or 6, we could mess around with the occasional later night without it upending their whole schedule/mood. I wouldn't let a 7 yr old stay up until 10 on a Tuesday in September, but a Friday in July? Sure, why not?

[Anonymous]

It’s kid dependent, like so many other things. Mine were about 6 & 8 when we took 24 hr journey to Asia and I realized they could roll with the disruptions to sleep when needed. That was a couple of years ago. Since then, I’ve relaxed a fair bit. They can stay up late once in a while on weekends, over the summer, etc. They still have a pretty strict and early bedtime of 8pm on weeknights.

[Anonymous]

Hmm. I feel like the pandemic interrupted this. But at 7 we were still pretty punctual about bedtime n

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I mean, in the summer I find it easy to make bedtime exceptions because kids can sleep in the next day. Even if they have camp, they can be late or can get ready super quick. It's not like school.

Similar with weekends-- easy to stay out late on Friday or Saturday and make it up with a lazy weekend morning.

Once my kids were 5 or 6, we could mess around with the occasional later night without it upending their whole schedule/mood. I wouldn't let a 7 yr old stay up until 10 on a Tuesday in September, but a Friday in July? Sure, why not?

I recall that my 7 year old couldn’t even physically stay up that late. Maybe if it was a party with a lot of stimulation, but for things like New Years Eve at home when we said he could stay up he wasn’t able to.

Now at 11 he can stay up alll night….

[Anonymous]

We’ve typically been pretty strict with a fairly early bedtime because like you our oldest has always been very sensitive to it. But we started dabbling last summer at 5 and 2 and the feeling of more freedom was soo nice. I kind of regretted being so strict all those years. We went back to being on our schedule for the most part over the school year but at 6 and 3 we plan to be much more flexible this summer.

For us, I’ve noticed what really makes a difference is not doing it ALL the time. We’re not staying up late every single night but when things are happening or there is a fun option to attend but it’s later, we’re not letting bedtime stop us from missing summer fun. If most nights are low key at home a night or two a week max seems like they can handle

[Anonymous]

Really kid dependent. My kids are 4, 7 and 9. They can all stay up late on a Friday or Saturday and be fine the next day. 4 year old may fall asleep randomly in weird places the next day but he is fine.

I am strict during the school year about bedtime though. They all need around 10 hours of sleep (12 for the 4 year old) to be good the next day. When they go to bed late on the weekend or summer they sleep in late. Can’t do that during school.

[Anonymous]

We’re starting to relax now at 4 and 6 but we still don’t push bed more than an hour or two late or else we’ve got cranky kids the next few days (it takes a little for it to catch up to them)

[Anonymous]

No bedtime since 7, sleep when they’re tired. Never argued about bedtime but know what time expected to be up each morning- 6:30 on school days, 8 in the summer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We’ve typically been pretty strict with a fairly early bedtime because like you our oldest has always been very sensitive to it. But we started dabbling last summer at 5 and 2 and the feeling of more freedom was soo nice. I kind of regretted being so strict all those years. We went back to being on our schedule for the most part over the school year but at 6 and 3 we plan to be much more flexible this summer.

For us, I’ve noticed what really makes a difference is not doing it ALL the time. We’re not staying up late every single night but when things are happening or there is a fun option to attend but it’s later, we’re not letting bedtime stop us from missing summer fun. If most nights are low key at home a night or two a week max seems like they can handle

Kewl

[Anonymous]

Once they would sleep late to make up for it and/or not have a negative effect on behavior. I can't remember exact ages (and it kind of was a gradual thing), but my kids are now 12, 10, and 5. 12 yo is great at self regulating sleep (it's funny bc she's the worst at regulating emotions) - if she's tired she'll go to bed early or take a nap and she will sleep in late. So she could swing late nights pretty early on. 10 yo is still bad at recognizing she is tired and starts getting whiny when overtired. She had a few late nights and we made her take a nap yesterday, which she protested, and then she was out for 2.5 hours. 5 yo has high sleep needs (about 13 hrs/day) so we try to be pretty strict about bedtime, but of course with two older siblings, he naturally will do some more evening activities. His bedtime is 6:30/7, though, so a late night for him would be 8:30, not 10pm.

[Anonymous]

Just this year (he is 7) but not if there is school or a busy day the next day. It always takes him a day or two to normalize. But on vacation or when family come to town, or he wants to stay up cousins, sure.

[Anonymous]

Op here - unfortunately my 7yo does not sleep in the next day to make up for it. He’s a beast when tired. Just nasty to his siblings in particular which is unfair to them. But it feels so lame never doing any of the fun summer evening events. I wish we could just have an easy day the next day but the fighting and moods are the worst the days we are home a lot

[Anonymous]

Hmm. Instead of 8pm, 10pm? Mine are 4 and almost 3 and we’re not close to that.

We were pretty to the minute until about 2.5 for the oldest and maybe 22 months for the youngest? Our oldest is just waaaay less flexible.

Now, it’s holistic. If we’re on a weeks vacation and the kids are sleeping well at night and taking their naps during the day (they both still nap), we’d put them to bed an hour late one night for a special activity. But we’d make sure they got good long naps the day before and after. Similarly, we would skip a nap for a special fun activity, but make sure they had a good nights sleep before and were in bed by bedtime that night. They handle that fine.

But you’ve got to parent the kid you have. If your 7 year old has melt downs from staying up to late, then I wouldn’t do it.

[Anonymous]

My kids are 5 and 8 and dont know how to sleep in. They are up at 6:30 every day. So bedtime is still 8:30 with them falling asleep by 9. Occasional later night is ok but they just fall asleep on couches etc. Camp starts earlier than school for us anyway.