DW not put together around the house

[Anonymous]

I don’t know if it’s uncalled for that I think this was. Too scared to mention it to her. But it frustrates me that she’s a very sloppy dresser when we’re around the house. When out to dinner, etc., she will always put herself together well.

But she doesn’t seem to make any effort when around the house and just with me. Sweats, sweats; and more sweats. Looks fine in them, but I guess I’d appreciate a bit more effort.

Is this something that it would be reasonable for me to express to her? Or just bury it?

No kids, so don’t think it’s any kind of crazy burnout, etc.

[Anonymous]

How do you dress around the house?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How do you dress around the house?

Candidly much better. Sweats in the morning / winding down for bed. But always make an effort to put better clothes on throughout the day - jeans and a polo or something similar.

[Anonymous]

Buy her some nice items!! Things you think she’d like and that you wouldn’t like. My hubby can be a bit slobby at home. I make sure he has attractive pants, nice sweatshirts and more and I am actually happy he feels so comfortable in his home. He is unaffected and unpretentious. He works a super high pressure job and I am thankful he has this to decompress!!

[Anonymous]

We'll happily weigh in, once you tell us how YOU dress around the house, OP.

And whether she works from home, and/or you do as well, and how much togetherness this has created in recent years. As, in you are in each others' space all the time.

I'm serious, these details do matter, if you're complaining about wanting her to look a certain way when the sole audience is you and the sole setting is home. I didn't say these details would change the fact that she can dress how she wants in her own home, because she can. No, this is about you and your expectations for another adult who has full agency. It's not about her.

We'll wait.

[Anonymous]

*** that you “WOULD” like too

[Anonymous]

It is so much easier to be comfortable in casual clothes as a man. This is a weird thing to get annoyed about and I am glad I am not married to you!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How do you dress around the house?

Candidly much better. Sweats in the morning / winding down for bed. But always make an effort to put better clothes on throughout the day - jeans and a polo or something similar.

You're comfortable in those clothes. If she is at home, she can wear what makes her feel comfortable.

Are you the kind of DH who is going to be back here to complain you're "no longer attracted to her" the minute she gains a pound, or shows some gray hair? Think about it. Are you that guy?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
We'll happily weigh in, once you tell us how YOU dress around the house, OP.

And whether she works from home, and/or you do as well, and how much togetherness this has created in recent years. As, in you are in each others' space all the time.

I'm serious, these details do matter, if you're complaining about wanting her to look a certain way when the sole audience is you and the sole setting is home. I didn't say these details would change the fact that she can dress how she wants in her own home, because she can. No, this is about you and your expectations for another adult who has full agency. It's not about her.

We'll wait.

We both work from home a few days a week. In office for others. Have separate working space when both at home. Some days one will be at home while the other will be in the office.

Throughout the day, will always at least have jeans or nicer pants on + a polo, button-down or at a minimum, a nicer t-shirt.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It is so much easier to be comfortable in casual clothes as a man. This is a weird thing to get annoyed about and I am glad I am not married to you!

This. Also, why do you feel the need to "dress" at home. That sounds like a lot of laundry.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is so much easier to be comfortable in casual clothes as a man. This is a weird thing to get annoyed about and I am glad I am not married to you!

This. Also, why do you feel the need to "dress" at home. That sounds like a lot of laundry.

What does this even mean? How is it easier to be comfortable for men?

Jeans are jeans. Nicer shirts can still be comfortable.

[Anonymous]

I think it's fine to mention something, but beware she may have some bruised feelings for a few days. I think it's in how you frame it and in being honest.

[Anonymous]

I'm assuming this is a troll honestly, but there is no reason a woman can't feel comfortable being "not put together" while relaxing in her own home. Your expectations seem like overkill. I feel bad for this woman.

[Anonymous]

OP, you're not going to get anything from DCUM but people defending your wife because she is a woman. You should have said you were ALSO a woman, then you'd have a chance.

[Anonymous]

If a woman can't be comfortable in her own home, wearing what she wants, then I don't know what hope there is for us.