College degree with weak major vs no degree

[Anonymous]

I work as a case worker and wouldn't have my job without my degree; however, the pay is not great, and my family constantly reminds me of my weak major. I am employed, married, and have kids, and my family doesn't support us at all financially. I also graduated debt-free because I got a merit scholarship. I'm so tired of them making digs at my major. We own a house now and could put down 20 percent without anyone's help. I didn't major in horticulture or basket weaving. I could get my master's, but that would require debt and more time away from my children. I have told my parents a million times that I enjoy my job, but they love to go on and on about how my job doesn't require college. My job did require a 4-year degree.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I work as a case worker and wouldn't have my job without my degree; however, the pay is not great, and my family constantly reminds me of my weak major. I am employed, married, and have kids, and my family doesn't support us at all financially. I also graduated debt-free because I got a merit scholarship. I'm so tired of them making digs at my major. We own a house now and could put down 20 percent without help. I didn't major in horticulture or basket weaving. I could get my master's, but that would require debt and more time away from my children. I have told my parents a million times that I enjoy my job, but they love to go on and on about how my job doesn't require college. My job did require a 4-year degree.

OP here. A lot of the comments started when we bought a townhouse. It's like they look down on us because we didn't buy a single-family house and we only have one car. All of these are choices we are happy with. My mom loves to ask me how I am doing in my little house and how our old car is doing. I try to laugh it off

[Anonymous]

You have a good job. Ignore them.

[Anonymous]

Your parents sound overly concerned with money & status…they sound elitist & classist. They do not have the same values as you, OP, you seem to care more about quality of life (choosing a degree in a field you enjoy that can also provide for your family).

I would ignore all of their statements. They want to shame you into feeling how they do, which you shouldn’t - they are being unkind, all for the sake of pushing a consumer driven society. Blech.

You’re not likely to change them, which is why I would just ignore & remind yourself that your values are diffferent.

[Anonymous]

Tell them to STFU. They've made their point, and they need to let it go. STOP defending yourself.

And personally, if they did that to me, I'd leave, or if they were in my home, I'd tell them to get out. I'd literally stand up, take anything of mine they were holding (plate of food, my book, my child/dog) and say "You may not disrespect me in my home. This visit is over; you're leaving now."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your parents sound overly concerned with money & status…they sound elitist & classist. They do not have the same values as you, OP, you seem to care more about quality of life (choosing a degree in a field you enjoy that can also provide for your family).

I would ignore all of their statements. They want to shame you into feeling how they do, which you shouldn’t - they are being unkind, all for the sake of pushing a consumer driven society. Blech.

You’re not likely to change them, which is why I would just ignore & remind yourself that your values are diffferent.

OP here. They really are something... DH is south asian (Maldives), and they constantly say he's Indian, but he's not from India. I used to correct them, and they would say "same thing". My grandmom constantly puts down Muslim women and talks about how they are taking over her condo building, and it's those women who have a lot of kids and wear stuff off their heads. I have told her a million times they are Muslim women, and it's disrespectful to talk about them like that. The neighbors have done nothing but be nice to her. It's their choice how many kids they want to have or what they want to wear.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your parents sound overly concerned with money & status…they sound elitist & classist. They do not have the same values as you, OP, you seem to care more about quality of life (choosing a degree in a field you enjoy that can also provide for your family).

I would ignore all of their statements. They want to shame you into feeling how they do, which you shouldn’t - they are being unkind, all for the sake of pushing a consumer driven society. Blech.

You’re not likely to change them, which is why I would just ignore & remind yourself that your values are diffferent.

OP here. They really are something... DH is south asian (Maldives), and they constantly say he's Indian, but he's not from India. I used to correct them, and they would say "same thing". My grandmom constantly puts down Muslim women and talks about how they are taking over her condo building, and it's those women who have a lot of kids and wear stuff off their heads. I have told her a million times they are Muslim women, and it's disrespectful to talk about them like that. The neighbors have done nothing but be nice to her. It's their choice how many kids they want to have or what they want to wear.

op here. talk about them. she doesn't talk to them badly. she's very sweet grand mom type in person.

[Anonymous]

Your parents sound like a-holes, sorry you are dealing with that. There is nothing wrong with your job or house. And, your college major has very little to do with anything: people get (or don't get) all kinds of jobs with all kinds of majors.

You can shut them down like PP suggests, or you can laugh in dollar signs because your house and car are wise choices.

[Anonymous]

I would do what pp suggests and leave or make them leave if they put you down. I was a language major and now code in tech. There are no weak majors. What a rude thing to say to someone.

These people are toxic and not worth your time, quite frankly.

Teachers (unfortunately) do not make a lot of money and need 4-year degrees and often beyond. Would that everyone were compensated based on how valuable jobs are vs. celebrity and sports millionaires but here we are.

[Anonymous]

You don’t have an education problem, you have a FAMILY problem. Your family is suppose to support you, not kick you around. Geez.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You don’t have an education problem, you have a FAMILY problem. Your family is suppose to support you, not kick you around. Geez.

Op here. Thanks. They have been putting me down for so long I got used to it. They are so impressed with DHs job and constantly talk about it.

[Anonymous]

Story of my life and I have a masters degree in education. I get mocked by my father for it at every holiday even though I am using it and am financially self sufficient. I don’t need anything from them- not practical or financial help.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your parents sound overly concerned with money & status…they sound elitist & classist. They do not have the same values as you, OP, you seem to care more about quality of life (choosing a degree in a field you enjoy that can also provide for your family).

I would ignore all of their statements. They want to shame you into feeling how they do, which you shouldn’t - they are being unkind, all for the sake of pushing a consumer driven society. Blech.

You’re not likely to change them, which is why I would just ignore & remind yourself that your values are diffferent.

OP here. They really are something... DH is south asian (Maldives), and they constantly say he's Indian, but he's not from India. I used to correct them, and they would say "same thing". My grandmom constantly puts down Muslim women and talks about how they are taking over her condo building, and it's those women who have a lot of kids and wear stuff off their heads. I have told her a million times they are Muslim women, and it's disrespectful to talk about them like that. The neighbors have done nothing but be nice to her. It's their choice how many kids they want to have or what they want to wear.

Your rekatives sound really upsetting but Maldivians are considered to be of the Indian-Aryan race. google it

[Anonymous]

I think what they’re really asking you is why you make so little money. Meaning, you can make the same amount of money for a job that doesn’t require a degree.

My folks also don’t seem to fathom why our house is so small, and so I haven’t been inclined to have them over. And so they don’t understand why we don’t have them over, lol.

[Anonymous]

Hey, OP, I have a degree in horticulture! I've done reasonably well with it and enjoy my work. There's always someone looking down on someone or something they deem lower than them.