Can I vent and brag a little?
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Anonymous
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Today our district had NJHS (junior honors society) inductions for middle schoolers and parents are beginning to post pictures of their kids. I know these parents see this as a reflection of themselves and of their parenting, and I understand their pride. I also have a middle schooler, one who struggles with mild learning disabilities. She will never be inducted into NJHS, or NHS. I, too, see this as a reflection of myself and my parenting. If I had more money, could I provide her better resources? More time? Was there something I should have seen earlier and corrected?
As these kids celebrate today, can I also brag on my DD and how hard she’s worked to improve over this semester? She’s brought up and kept up all of her grades through really hard work and determination. It’s doesn’t come easy for her and she’s rising to the occasion, and I couldn’t be more proud of her. |
Anonymous
| That’s really amazing. It’s hard to apply yourself when you get frequent messages that you can’t do it or haven’t done it well. It really must be thrilling to see her gas up her own tank and zoom down the road. |
Anonymous
| I think it’s pretty shameful that you cannot honor and recognize those children without comparing and wanting the spotlight on your own child. |
Anonymous
| ^ I think it's very shameful that you posted that and thought it was actually ok. |
Anonymous
| Congratulations to your daughter. Learning to work hard and persist is something that not all children learn even through college. NJHS and NHS are kind of pointless organizations, but I know that they're based on grades and grades are the kind of external validation that can feel really good. Your goal is to find sources of external validation that are accessible to your DD and combine them with work to help her focus on internal validation. I was an externally validated kid who got a moderate amount of it and am always desperately seeking more, even as an adult and even when I don't want to. It's not healthy or fun. |
Anonymous
| Congratulations to your daughter! Its not easy no matter who it is. |
Anonymous
+1. |
Anonymous
Nasty |
Anonymous
| Yay middle school is the toughest time to come into your own and rise academically. Yay for her |
Anonymous
| I hate that people can’t post about the good things their kids do without someone taking offense. |
Anonymous
+1 Absolutely! |
Anonymous
| That’s great OP! Congratulations to your daughter. I hope you take her out at the end of the year to celebrate her achievements! Often when learning disabilities, once kids learn to compensate for their issues they can really thrive. |
Anonymous
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Congratulations to your daughter!
My teen is about to be inducted into the NHS. We will post on fb because their relatives far and wide appreciate that connection. I understand that it can hurt you, but I want to offer you a different perspective. Just this morning I read a post about a friend whose son wasn’t very good at x sport; he worked hard for 3 years and now he’s good at it. And I was jealous. Why? Because I don’t think my kids have that kind of grit. They are naturally intelligent. And yes we promote good study habits and sometimes have to remind them when they have missing assignments, but we don’t have to micromanage them and we don’t have to help them study too much. They have also dropped well-loved activities as they’ve gotten older and this spring have been around the house so much because they are doing minimal extra curriculars. I see the grit that your daughter has as much of as asset as my kids’ easy intelligence. I worry that when they hit hard classes in college they will fail, or when they are older and hit walls as professionals they will crumble—bit your dd will have the resilience already and push through because she already knows she can. So I completely understand your perspective, but know that I’m in awe of your hard-working kid and I have a feeling that it will carry her through success in whatever she pursues. |
Anonymous
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I think your assumption that the parents whose kids are in NHS think it is a reflection on them and their parenting is wrong for most people.
While some view their kids as a reflection of them, I think most recognize them as unique individuals who have their own successes and failures. |
Anonymous
| Sounds like you need to get off social media OP. |