Explain Mother's Day to me
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Anonymous
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So... I'm an immigrant from a country where Mother's Day was not celebrated. We had Womens' Day and all men/boys celebrated all women/girls. Now this holiday has been exported abroad and in the last few years my own mom has started to demand recognition on Mother's Day. It's not a big deal, but quite frankly even I don't celebrate it much. However, before my mom's demands, I thought Mother's Day is to celebrate women who have minor children, so that they get a day off and a husband and kids do something nice. It's not to celebrate women who have adult kids as they're not busy with small kids, they have all the time in the world, and there's Grandmother's Day. It seems strange to have a holiday as a mom and then have to celebrate your own moms/MILs. It's like having a graduation from college and then everybody else who graduated years ago also wants attention. I found some discussion online, comments are on point and of course everybody says you never see Grandpas going nuts on Father's Day. So what's up with Mother's Day?
https://www.tobyandroo.com/its-mothers-day-not-grandmothers-day-whats-up-with-that/ https://www.womansworld.com/posts/family/happy-mothers-day-for-grandmother-159866 |
Anonymous
| Mother’s Day is to celebrate all moms. The end. |
Anonymous
| Well, as you can see from the links, lots of young moms are frustrated that they have to "share" the holiday. And why do you have Grandmother's Day? |
Anonymous
| Wtf is Grandmother’s Day? If that actually exists, I’ve never heard of it |
Anonymous
| My mistake. In the US it's Grandparents Day, in many countries it's separate. https://www.timeanddate.com/holidays/us/national-grandparents-day |
Anonymous
And in DCUMLand it's yet another day to be enraged that your MIL breathes. And a way to be further disappointed and enraged that your DH didn't do all the right things to celebrate you. |
Anonymous
No one actually celebrates that here. It’s like National Chocolate Chip Cookie Day. Meaningless. Mother’s Day is to celebrate moms and grandmas. My mom gets me a card and I get one for her. |
Anonymous
To clarify pp, it's for human moms - not people with pets (ie, not for dog "moms") - childfree woman |
Anonymous
That's my conundrum. With Womens' Day it was straightforward, my dad for example cooked that day and all women (my mom, grandma, me) had a "day off". With Mother's Day minor kids cannot do anything, so the husband has to do something... but then MIL is expecting attention, so DH leaves his wife with an infant and toddlers at home? Then mom wants attention, what to do? So the young mom is frustrated, is seething, finally mom/MIL dies and she gets the holiday for herself. Well, that doesn't last long, her kids have kids and the cycle repeats. |
Anonymous
I'm positive I've read that dog moms also want attention. |
Anonymous
Maybe that's the problem? Too many people want attention on the same day? Like a participation trophy. I'm certain most mom's and MILs don't give cards or gifts to their daughters/DILs. |
Anonymous
The way we celebrate Mother's Day in my family sounds a lot like how you celebrated women's day in your country, with the exception that minor children usually make a card or maybe have a project at school that they bring home to bring to mom. Dads can help the kids get a gift if that's important to mom. My MIL doesn't want more "junk" but certainly would expect to be acknowledged in some way. Anyway, we usually either had a picnic where the dads dealt with food and the moms didn't cook. Or went out to lunch and all the moms were the "guests of honor". Everyone gave their mom/grandma a card. If mom is out of town this is a day to send a card/flowers or give her a call. I would think it was weird if my adult husband left me to spend the day with his mom but of course she is welcome to join in whatever activities the group decides on. She's a mom too. I've never heard of anyone celebrating grandparents day in the US. |
Anonymous
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I don't see what's so complicated about it unless you're a troll.
It's a day to celebrate primarily one's own mother, though it is also thoughtful to wish other mothers you know a happy Mother's day. Grandparents' day isn't as big a deal and most people don't even know when it is. Besides, not all parents of adults have grandchildren. For example, a 40 year old single person would celebrate their 70 year old mom for Mother's day. |
Anonymous
| Well I for one would give anything to have to "share the holiday" with my mother again. This will be my third Mother's Day without her and it's just not the same. If you have a good one still with you make sure you let her know you love and appreciate her. |
Anonymous
Thank you. If you celebrate the holiday as a family get-together, that makes perfect sense. Otherwise there's a conflict baked into the celebration, leaving young moms with the short end of the stick. I'm not a troll! My DH doesn't want to do much for Mother's Day since he's not my mom. The kids are of course oblivious. I'm not bothered, I'm waiting for the kids to grow and become an obnoxious MIL 
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