Normal amount of sex after kids?

[Anonymous]

I’m PP with my first child and I’m curious what is the normal frequency of sex at this stage in life? I’m not up for daily intimacy like we had pre-baby, but I also don’t want my husband to be sex starved. I want to find a happy medium so he is pleased. What’s a normal amount of sex post-baby?

[Anonymous]

Normal is whatever you and your partner decide is normal, as long as you make that decision in a loving and compassionate manner.

[Anonymous]

OP here. We are averaging 1-3 times a eeek depending on the week. Some weeks, I don’t feel like once is enough, and other times, I feel like I’m not up for it 3 times a week.

[Anonymous]

What is a PP? There needs to be a central database for all the DCUM abbreviations.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What is a PP? There needs to be a central database for all the DCUM abbreviations.

I assume PP means postpartum.

[Anonymous]

Somewhere between more often than you’d like and less often than he’d like.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. We are averaging 1-3 times a eeek depending on the week. Some weeks, I don’t feel like once is enough, and other times, I feel like I’m not up for it 3 times a week.

That’s pretty normal for us. Once is a tough week or one where one or both of us is under the weather. Three is pretty average. We might have sex more if we have time off or are feeling really connected. For reference, we are early thirties, both WOH, with a toddler and an infant.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Somewhere between more often than you’d like and less often than he’d like.

That is a useful rule of thumb. Thanks!

[Anonymous]

Really depends on if your kid sleeps or not. We had an amazing sleeper and after I felt like having sex again we went right back to 3x/week. But I have friends who didn't sleep through the night until their kid was 18 months old - they're lucky they didn't kill each other let alone get in the perfect amount of time in pound town.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Somewhere between more often than you’d like and less often than he’d like.

Genders are reverse in my case and we are averaging once a week. Kids are elementary

[Anonymous]

I think the emphasis is on mutual courtesy. I heard it best put this way (if addressing the man):

Yes, she should have sex with you whenever you want. And you should graciously decline whenever she would like to decline.

A deliberate impasse that focuses on putting the other person first.

[Anonymous]

Kid in elementary. We've are about between 1-3 times a week and have been since he was born. I have a high drive and my PP hormones actually made me want sex more for a good year. It helps that our work schedules make it easy to have sex when DS is at school

[Anonymous]

I think a lot depends on how much time and effort it takes for one or both of you to reach orgasm.

[Anonymous]

DH usually gets some sort of happy ending 4 nights a week.

[Anonymous]

Nothing really changed for us. It was nice until they were tweens and wouldn’t go to sleep, or sleep soundly enough. Now we have to sneak it in when they are at school/somewhere, or be quiet, which sucks.