iPhone controls - I have some questions

[Bambam]

Considering upgrading our child's phone from a locked-down (but sort of open) Android that she has had since age 11 —to an iPhone, now at age 12. Almost 13.

Benefits:
-Money savings bc there are deals on our plan, instead of her having a little separate phone plan through the company Troomi. It’s not pricey, but the Verizon add a line is almost free for our situation.
-She gets the social benefit of an iPhone. I care about this about… 40%, only so she’ll stop telling us how people tease her. She is popular and handles it fine. She does have problems with group chats, one for a school club. And certain friends who she can’t text at all. I would happy to see these issues stop.
-phone needs replacement after almost 2 years. She has taken care of it but you know how screens don’t last forever. I’d say it could be dead in 1-4 weeks.

But unsure if it's the right move given her behavior. Shes not terrible. But she’s not great either. And we’re headed into age 13, so it’s not that she’s awful. But we’re seeing signs of bigger things coming.

The current phone allows for parental controls, including monitoring texts, app access, browser limitations (but also what I loved about this service is how almost all of it CAN be opened up as time goes on).

Even with this phone fully opened up as much as it can be, there is:
-No FaceTime or video chat apps at all. Exception: kids messenger which can hook to Facebook too (with parent approval, ugh). So, not cool. Her friends aren’t the Facebook type anyway.
-No social media apps
-as i stated earlier, the issues with group chats would continue.

She got it on her 11th birthday, going into 6th. She wouldn’t have even gotten a phone if it weren’t for this company. I see going to the next level, but am I ready?

Now she’s coming up on 13 and 8th grade. Gossip with friends is picking up. It was easy the last 2 years. She has a boyfriend and they text almost daily. The knowledge that we can read texts prevents issues. But we don’t sit and read all of them. What do you know about deleting texts on Apple, if we wanted to spot check her device?

Thoughts on this whole thing?

[Bambam]

That was the general background. I’m sorry if there are big errors, my iPhone (ironic) is being weirdly laggy today.

Next I’ll post up some questions digging deeper into parent capabilities on iPhone.

[Bambam]

-I like browser controls now. The phone she has has domain-level controls. Or shut it down. Or fully open. We have it on the domain-level controls now. It is SO annoying to her but I love it.
She has full browser at our family computer. When she’s out, there is very little need to sit and google stuff. If she has school-related need to open it up, I just open it fully up for a week or a day, etc.

[Bambam]

Bambam wrote:-I like browser controls now. The phone she has has domain-level controls. Or shut it down. Or fully open. We have it on the domain-level controls now. It is SO annoying to her but I love it.
She has full browser at our family computer. When she’s out, there is very little need to sit and google stuff. If she has school-related need to open it up, I just open it fully up for a week or a day, etc.

What is the breadth of options for browser control, or not, or middle grounds on Apple?

[Bambam]

As I asked in OP, what are iPhone’s text deletion like? On mine, I can sit and delete whatever texts I want. So, I’m guessing that would be true for her.
How do you all, beyond talking, do any prevention for texting issues? Legal or illegal pictures. Bullying of others. I don’t even know all of the potential issues.

Thoughts on this, coming from a parent who can read every text if I want to.. going to a situation where I could not.

[Bambam]

I currently love that the phone can to add social media, even if she/we wanted to.

First-time parent, first foray into these discussions, lay out this whole world to me…

Also I know she could create SM on friend’s devices. Kids do that. So I don’t assume that me controlling it or refusing it or giving a phone that isn’t capable.. means that she isn’t on it at all.

But does SM approval by parents really help? Because I think they’d be able to have their real account and a Finsta as well. Even with parent’s approval and checking, they can still do the log out / log in thing.

[Anonymous]

No replies on this. Hmmmm I realize it wasn’t super clear.

I knew it at the time that I could have made it more succinct. But my phone was being sooo slow. Phone is back to working quickly this evening.

TLDR. Any info you have for me on iPhone parental control. I’m aware of a lot of it. I don’t know as much as I would like on Browser controls, Text deletion, And what I don’t know.


-OP