Need to share this with someone, feeling awful

[Anonymous]

Going through some medical stuff and it’s really dragging me down. I’m often tired and look it. I just look and feel the worst I’ve ever looked or felt!

Went to a dinner event for DH work. At one point five of us (me, DH, a coworker and his wife, a female coworker) were standing there when the female coworker turned to the wife and said, “You’re far too pretty for that husband of yours!” It was a jab at the husband, and it was funny, but then after a few beats she turned to me and said, “Oh, you are too!” It felt so obligatory and unnecessary and in that moment I wanted to crawl in a hole. It didn’t help that later someone showed me a group photo in which I looked like an absolute disaster. I’m so embarrassed.

[Anonymous]

I hate those kinds of jokes and jokes about looks (negative or positive, but especially positive when you don’t plan on extending the compliment to everyone within earshot) should never be made around others.

I’m sorry, and I hope you’re feeling better soon.

[Anonymous]

OP I am very sorry you encounter an ass.

Hope you feel better soon.

[Anonymous]

It’s understandable that that felt awful, but just know there’s something wrong with that person. That’s not a normal thing to say/joke to make at all. This really wasn’t about you it was about something very weird going on with the person who made the joke.

[Anonymous]

Well you would have been upset if the person didn’t say anything about you, so not sure why you’re mad

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Well you would have been upset if the person didn’t say anything about you, so not sure why you’re mad

And you know this how?

[Anonymous]

The person didn't say anything wrong. You are just self conscious about your looks and obviously no one else is. Just work on yourself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s understandable that that felt awful, but just know there’s something wrong with that person. That’s not a normal thing to say/joke to make at all. This really wasn’t about you it was about something very weird going on with the person who made the joke.

I agree. To me, the silly comment only highlighted the social awkwardness of the person who said it. It doesn't reflect on you at all; she's the dolt.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like she put her foot in her mouth and tried to save the moment. She also could have meant it. Your self esteem is shot right now OP - try to focus on feeling better. I know its tough - going through many health things currently

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Going through some medical stuff and it’s really dragging me down. I’m often tired and look it. I just look and feel the worst I’ve ever looked or felt!

Went to a dinner event for DH work. At one point five of us (me, DH, a coworker and his wife, a female coworker) were standing there when the female coworker turned to the wife and said, “You’re far too pretty for that husband of yours!” It was a jab at the husband, and it was funny, but then after a few beats she turned to me and said, “Oh, you are too!” It felt so obligatory and unnecessary and in that moment I wanted to crawl in a hole. It didn’t help that later someone showed me a group photo in which I looked like an absolute disaster. I’m so embarrassed.

A female said this? How strange.

[Anonymous]

Why do you need some random stranger's approval?

[Anonymous]

Your medical status must have included some hormone-perturbing stuff for this non-event to upset you, OP. Or you're in perimenopause and just naturally on the brink at all times?

I hope you can move past this. It's really not a big deal. I'm in perimenopause and sometimes feel very triggered, but this wouldn't upset me in the least. Yes, some people are prettier than others. So what? Everyone knows it already.

[Anonymous]

Right there with you OP. I'm on a slew of drugs including prednisone that has made my face blow up. Even better, I have no diagnosis but very real symptoms. No end in sight

[Anonymous]

That was a shallow comment and overstepping hugely given you're not friends. Ignore and forget it.

[Anonymous]

I'm sorry, OP. We've all put our foot in our mouth at some point. I bet she felt awkward about it too.

Take good care of you, and try to fit in some self-pampering time if you can swing it. Get a new haircut, a manicure, facial -- whatever to treat yourself. Hang in there.