I really want to just leave
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Anonymous
| I'm sure many people have felt that way but I honestly can't take this level of abuse any longer. Has anyone actually left? Don't judge until you've been in my shoes. |
Anonymous
| I have no advice, only sympathy. I'm sure what you are facing is awful and I wish with all my heart that there were more options for your family. I understand how bad institutions were, but how can this be better? Hoping you find peace and better days ahead. |
Anonymous
| I have had similar feelings. I have on most days accepted the reality of what my life is, nothing why I had hoped for. We are isolated and divided as a family. I don’t have any answers and don’t even have much hope to offer. I can only share you are not alone. This is so hard. Sending a big hug and loving thoughts. |
Anonymous
| Can you get respite care and at least a break, OP? You are not alone. Hugs. |
Anonymous
| I really get it. I wish there were more resources to help us feel less alone. Like churches and synagogues have groups for grieving people—how about groups for people when their kids are so, so hard. I would give you a hug if you wanted one and try to find a way for us all to laugh and cry together. |
Anonymous
| Leave and go where? |
Anonymous
| Personally the answer is leave and go anywhere, just get out. |
Anonymous
| Put a different way: what keeps you from being able to access respite care? For instance, do you not have any money to pay for it? Do you not know of a resource for providing it? I think it could be really helpful to get a break. Setting it up the first time would be the hardest, and it might take some tinkering, but I think you could feel a lot better with a regular, dependable break. And maybe we could help you figure out a way to get one. |
Anonymous
| Respite is expensive and all of them require at minimum of 3 hours each visit and a regular contract. $40 for 3 hours each week is about $480 a month which is a lot of people's rent. |
Anonymous
Yes. Thank you. People are delusional with the respite care. The only resources I’ve seen are for kids with intellectual disabilities. We are decidedly middle class and spend all our money on therapies and tuition for a private SN school. No money left for respite care. |
Anonymous
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Do you know how challenging it is to find respite care? Is this a realistic suggestion or option? Has anyone had luck with this?
I have looked for over two years and finally have given up. The largest barriers for me was my insurance would not cover it and/or they only take Medicare clients and private pay was not even something they would consider. My child does not have autism, does not have an intellectual disability, my child is a tween with ADHD, Mood disorder, anxiety, and can be both verbally and physically aggressive. I even tried local colleges with special education program to see if a student would be interested and tried places like care.com. I had a parent navigator through NAMi helping me and have asked to school for resources I have had no luck. Does anyone know of any programs? Some are suggesting respite care as if it is a realistic option, in my experience, I will have a better chance at winning the lottery or finding a unicorn. |
Anonymous
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your child has clinical anxiety and depression and ADHD- maybe you need to change your lifestyle- move out to somewhere more rural where they will have more access to nature and less academic pressure at school, do something b/c that shouldn't be a large enough diagnosis that you are this miserable and I believe that you both ARE this miserable and distressed.
Either the healthcare is system is missing a diagnosis or- more ikely- the way our modern lives are structured is beyond what you and your child can cope with and its not working. It is ok to live a lifestyle which is different than the picket fence and the norm and think outside of the box for a solution even though it is very very difficult and I have so much sympathy for your distress but your child must be in so much MORE distress. Maybe pull them out of the system and just relax as a family for a while- what is it that is making them physically violent and maladjusted, isn't it better for them to "fall behind' academically and take some time to heal? there is no 'schedule', the is no competition, there is only you own well being and their's and neither of you are even close to being ok right now. |
Anonymous
Another parent who has had no luck. I did a lot of very thorough research and called many places but could not find one in our area that would handle a child with that level of need. It's easier for them to help seniors or kids with lower levels of need. |
Anonymous
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@23:04 how do you know that poster has not done any of what you suggested. The poster was sharing how difficult (if not impossible) it is to find respite care.
Why would you say a child diagnosed with ADHD, mood disorder and anxiety could not be verbally or physically aggressive? Your reply is judgmental and not helpful. |
Anonymous
| op i know it's difficult but having been in your shoes (I am often in your shoes) I do think that some of what pps have said is true. Better to 'blow up' your life than go to bed each night thinking you would do anything to run away forever. eg - can you rent your home for a year and move to the absolute cheapest place that appeals to you? Take your kid out of school and just say - all of us staying alive is more important? Or put them in the local school and say - I do not care if you fail every class. I just want you to enjoy this year and find something you love. or whatever this looks like for you? I know it's crazy but maybe it's not so crazy. |