How did you find a social network or a new hobby after the kids "launch"?

[Anonymous]

My "tribe" as sort of fallen apart as the kids have grown for a variety of reasons: people have moved away, focusing on their career, focusing on where their kids are, etc. These were folks that I did not -think- only linked with us out of the kid bond. We OFTEN did things w/o the kids. But, there's def been a shift. And as we get older, I am finding I get sincerely and utterly depressed w/o some social outlets.

So, now what? I'm not athletic (so not doing softball or anything like that) and, as much as I would love a running group, my running career has ruined my knees. Not in horrible shape but not my best, either. I can join a gym but doubt there will be an social aspect for a middle-aged woman there.

I'm not musical or artistic. I knit and sew but those are largely solitary endeavors.

I like to garden. I like music/concerts. I like to dance. I like to read. I like to go to the movies. I like to bake.

I'm really floundering here. And getting depressed. . . . . where does the >50 crowd find friends? Build a network? Something that's not forced or awkward.

I'm in NOVA if that matters (western Fairfax Co.)

[Anonymous]

To add: lots of meetups I'm seeing are for "singles" and I'm not single. Looking for female only OR couples friendships.

Thanks!

[Anonymous]

Group yoga classses

[Anonymous]

First, I wonder if I wrote this. Second, you mention knitting and I've had friends get into knitting groups that meet regularly to talk, socialize, and knit!

[Anonymous]

I think the answers are likely to be church or hobbies.

I am 55. During the pandemic, I started working on my genealogy about a small village in Eastern Europe. I joined a genealogical society. Through that, using online, I met and spoke with a number of people online. I made a genealogy friend/pen pal and we e-mailed each other a lot. We are only online friends because she's across the U.S. but she is definitely a social friend at this point.

To meet people in person, I would suggest volunteer work. Volunteering has fallen off since the pandemic. Our PTAs allow community member participation and need any hands they can get. I have a work friend who is kind of a loner. Her best friend is a same age single woman like her. They met through a dog rescue and both help with each other's pets kind of like people with young kids help each other out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Group yoga classses

So far not finding this to be accurate.

[Anonymous]

I'm totally in the same boat. I had a close relationship with the parents of my kids' friends, but over time, our kids have drifted apart and are all in different social groups now. We don't get together like we used to and it just feels weird to be around them because the kids aren't really friends anymore. With my youngest going off to college in the fall, I feel a little adrift. No advice, just commiserating.

[Anonymous]

You mention that you like to dance- have you ever tried ballroom dancing? My spouse and I started ballroom dancing during Covid- it is a lot of fun and we have met a lot of very nice people through lessons and dances.

Dancing is good for your body and your brain- remembering all those complicated steps gives your brain a good workout- and you can meet new people to socialize with. If you could get your spouse interested, it is fun to have a built in partner, but not necessary. Most of the people at our classes are there without a partner and the teacher has us all circulate as we learn new steps.

[Anonymous]

Our local YMCA has a vibrant coffee and workout scene for seniors. It’s lovely to see. You don’t need to be athletic to be part of that. There are a zillion dance classes of all types there, too.

I also see groups of senior women volunteering at our local gardens (think special ones like Longwood Gardens in PA). I was just at a native plant sale and the entire thing was run by a social, awesome group of mostly seniors.

Joining the board of a nonprofit you care about is another way, as long as it’s a social board. You can get a sense from the other board members what it’s like.

Baking: work PT in a bakery or coffee shop? Volunteer to teach a baking course? Do you have a chapter of Groupmuse where you live? You can host or help with house concerts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Our local YMCA has a vibrant coffee and workout scene for seniors. It’s lovely to see. You don’t need to be athletic to be part of that. There are a zillion dance classes of all types there, too.

I also see groups of senior women volunteering at our local gardens (think special ones like Longwood Gardens in PA). I was just at a native plant sale and the entire thing was run by a social, awesome group of mostly seniors.

Joining the board of a nonprofit you care about is another way, as long as it’s a social board. You can get a sense from the other board members what it’s like.

Baking: work PT in a bakery or coffee shop? Volunteer to teach a baking course? Do you have a chapter of Groupmuse where you live? You can host or help with house concerts.

As someone who related to OP at age 49, she didn’t state or imply that she’s a senior. My mom does the YMCA seniors class, and has made friends there, but she’s 78.

OP- have you considered pickleball? It doesn’t require much athleticism.

[Anonymous]

Oh my gosh, so many activities, so little time! It just takes some time and effort to find what works for you.

You say you like gardening? There are nonprofit native nurseries that need volunteers .
Books? There’s a meetup book group in moco where everyone comes sit together to read their own books and socialize about them. Once you get to know others, you can form your own book group with people who read what you like.

You’re not athletic but will you walk? There are a ton of walking groups that do all sorts of walks in various locations.

There are a number of 50+ active and social groups on meetup, and while some people are single there’s also married couples and people in long term relationships. Some of these attend music events as some of the activities.

Dancing? You can do weekly ballroom dance classes and/or events at Glen Echo. There’s also a place in downtown silver spring - I’m not sure if that’s ballroom or salsa.

[Anonymous]

Become a master gardener. It's a volunteer network, and you will meet lots of other gardeners in classes and in volunteer service.

[Anonymous]

I think any hobby or activity likely holds potential. I swim in a masters group and there’s definitely a subset who is very social with each other. Gardening may be a good in. There are a lot of very active native gardening groups on Facebook, including local ones. Also classes, plant sales you can volunteer at. Our local pool club that has a big group that gets together in the spring and preps the beds together. You might need to push yourself to be more active, volunteer, join your local buy nothing group and offer free gardening advice as a service.

I’ve noticed a lot of my neighbors in 50s and older have started walking their dogs together.

You might look into master naturalist programs too. I know some people who are actively involved in that community

[Anonymous]

I have never stopped having hobbies, volunteering, and making friends. So as my kids have left for college, while there was an empty room in the house there wasn't this big gaping hole of time. I've never revolved my entire life around my kids. My volunteer position had nothing to do with them, and I've always made friends from different walks of life (including people without kids).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have never stopped having hobbies, volunteering, and making friends. So as my kids have left for college, while there was an empty room in the house there wasn't this big gaping hole of time. I've never revolved my entire life around my kids. My volunteer position had nothing to do with them, and I've always made friends from different walks of life (including people without kids).

ok, that's great for you, but you are not helping OP.

I'll be on OP's shoes in two years. I might go back to church.