When did you have the sex talk?

[Anonymous]

I'm curious when you first talked about sex with your child? My 9YO is starting to hear things at school (I don't think sex-specific, but sex-adjacent), becoming very aware of girls vs. boys, kissing, love, etc. I want to get out in front of it (I want him to learn about it from us, not his friends) but I don't want to do it too early. I have no idea if he actually knows how babies are made or if this will be new news to him. We're starting to talk about puberty and body changes, but only recently. What did you do? Would you do it again or do it differently? I don't want to scare him but I also want to try to have open, honest, two-way communication about it.

[Anonymous]

We did it in 5th grade a few weeks before their MCPS family health talk. We have answered most questions before this in a high level matter of fact way and keep to basic and ADT to understand, no funny nicknames about the hoo ha and other stuff and very straightforward. Our son was almost 11. We will do the same with our you get child. The period talk is different because they can get it younger than that age. We already covered some stuff like what it means to be gay, etc along with reproduction. We also warned him and laid the groundwork for the trans talk so no one can confuse him or make it scary. We phrase everything with compassion and love and try to make it easy.

[Anonymous]

OMG you're very late. A 9 yo should know how babies are made! As well as real names for body parts, puberty, etc.
Now is a good time to talk about respect, consent, privacy, not taking or sharing photos, etc.
The Robbie Harris books are good.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm curious when you first talked about sex with your child? My 9YO is starting to hear things at school (I don't think sex-specific, but sex-adjacent), becoming very aware of girls vs. boys, kissing, love, etc. I want to get out in front of it (I want him to learn about it from us, not his friends) but I don't want to do it too early. I have no idea if he actually knows how babies are made or if this will be new news to him. We're starting to talk about puberty and body changes, but only recently. What did you do? Would you do it again or do it differently? I don't want to scare him but I also want to try to have open, honest, two-way communication about it.

omg what is wrong with you?

You are not going to "scare" him.

Be honest. Find age appropriate books. And start today.

[Anonymous]

Now is a great time to get the conversation going, and you’ll have to keep it going periodically. By 11-12, a lot of kids have seen porn, either accidentally or on purpose. Get out ahead of that.

[Anonymous]

Start at 11

[Anonymous]

I told my son at 8. He stared asking questions and I bought a book for us to read. I left the book in the room. Sometimes he would read it and come ask us questions. We answered them honestly each time.

My daughter is six. She started asking and I got out the book. She is well informed. Not scared at all

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I told my son at 8. He stared asking questions and I bought a book for us to read. I left the book in the room. Sometimes he would read it and come ask us questions. We answered them honestly each time.

My daughter is six. She started asking and I got out the book. She is well informed. Not scared at all

Wut book

[Anonymous]

A little along the way. You can't get off the hook with one big talk, and think you're done.

[Anonymous]

You haven’t done this yet?!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I told my son at 8. He stared asking questions and I bought a book for us to read. I left the book in the room. Sometimes he would read it and come ask us questions. We answered them honestly each time.

My daughter is six. She started asking and I got out the book. She is well informed. Not scared at all

Wut book

I used it is not the stork. I’m sure there are others

[Anonymous]

We started talking body parts once they could speak. It’s critical is combatting sexual predators and normalizing every single body part as normal and not be embarrassed to talk about it.

Then in second and third grade talked periods. Girls start period in fourth now and in fifth. Way earlier and better to talk about it before they start experiencing it.

Fourth grade and onward talk about sex and stds and that pressure and emotions of sexual advances in middle school and high school. And technology again on what not to do to protect yourself. And again emotions. And drugs. And alcohol…

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm curious when you first talked about sex with your child? My 9YO is starting to hear things at school (I don't think sex-specific, but sex-adjacent), becoming very aware of girls vs. boys, kissing, love, etc. I want to get out in front of it (I want him to learn about it from us, not his friends) but I don't want to do it too early. I have no idea if he actually knows how babies are made or if this will be new news to him. We're starting to talk about puberty and body changes, but only recently. What did you do? Would you do it again or do it differently? I don't want to scare him but I also want to try to have open, honest, two-way communication about it.

Now.

You have the talk now. Tell him the basics and let him lead you into discussing more if he wants. Revisit often.

Look, you can be the first to talk to your kid or you can let him find out through what he hears at school. Your child's classmates have older siblings at the very least.

[Anonymous]

Yup it’s not just one talk. We used stuff that came up in movies, sex Ed in school, discussion of babies, health etc as an opportunity to incorporate sex - so kids get comfortable and will ask questions as they come up
Resulted in some funny dinner conversations and sure, cringing our kids out at times.

[Anonymous]

9