Need to leave but don't know how
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Anonymous
| My husband has some type of anxiety or OCD that causes him to rage daily and sometimes stay in bed for days at a time. He is very critical of our 9 year old and I think it's starting to affect her. I can't stay in this marriage, but I'm the sole breadwinner. My lawyer advised that I move out. I'm concerned about moving out without a custody agreement. Could this be a problem? |
Anonymous
| This is divorce lawyer? I’d find a new one. |
Anonymous
| Ask your lawyer, not a bunch of people who watch Law & Order SVU. |
Anonymous
| How are you going to protect your daughter when you're divorced and he has 50% custody? I absolutely wouldn't leave without my child. |
Anonymous
Disagree. When parents stay in the marriage for the child, it teaches a damaging lesson. |
Anonymous
I did! I'm crowd-sourcing another opinion. |
Anonymous
| It’s fine to move out without a custody agreement. Maybe the two of you together can come up with a temporary agreement, or enlist the help of a mediator. |
Anonymous
That's what the lawyer said. It makes me feel so unprotected though. Like he could just keep her. |
Anonymous
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Bird nesting. Can you swing the rent for a cheap nearby studio apartment? Daughter remains in the home and you & DH take turns in the apartment.
It would probably be good for your DH to solo parent your daughter. It’s a different dynamic when the other parent isn’t around. I’m not divorced, but my kid is much more easy going when one parent is out of town on a business trip |
Anonymous
I thought you were talking about moving out with your daughter - is that not what you're talking about? I'd do that and then immediately ask to negotiate a custody agreement. It would probably be good if you had a video of him raging. I would not leave without my child or a court-filed custody agreement in place. |
Anonymous
The lawyer says you move out without your daughter?? WTF? Absolutely not. Get a different lawyer. This one is incompetent. You do not want to abandon the marital home and your daughter. No way. |
Anonymous
+1 |
Anonymous
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OP, you may be ordered to pay him alimony and child support until DD is 18.
I'd be strategic, financially and in terms of protecting her. Have you tried to get him in for a psych eval? He could be bipolar. When was the last time he worked? You need much better legal advice. It may make sense financially to parallel parent under the same roof for a while. |
Anonymous
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OP are you such a high earner that you can support 2 separate households? That is likely to be ordered.
I'd set the emotions aside and run numbers for different scenarios. |
Anonymous
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If you loved your DH and love DD, why not get him professional help to improve his mental health?
Is this "some type of anxiety or OCD" new? Is it highlighted because he isn't earning enough and you are? |