I don’t know why I’m so irrationally hurt by this!

[Anonymous]

I have been FB friends with someone I went to a private K-8 with since literally the beginning of FB itself. We are in our 40s. We hadn’t kept up IRL but we both had daughters around the same time, a little later than average, and they both ended up being only children, so we sort of bonded over that on FB. We have a ton of mutual friends who also went to the K-8, everyone is spread out across the country. Today I was fooling around on FB when I thought about her and how she hasn’t posted lately. You guessed it, she unfriended me. The funny thing is, we still have all the same mutual friends! She didn’t unfriend anyone else from our school. I can’t think of anything I would have done to offend her, our interactions were always benign. Her profile is public so I can see what she’s up to, her DD is adorable as ever, everything else seems the same.

Why in the world would she have unfriended just me? I almost want to ask but that’s weird. “Hey, I know we are essentially strangers who knew each other 30+ years ago and haven’t seen each other in person since then, but why did you unfriend me?” So, if you’ve unfriended in this way, why?

[Anonymous]

No advice, just commiseration.

I have a male family member the same age as me, he and his wife live a few hours away and have 4 kids. He is not active on SM, but she is, and we were generally friendly, and I loved seeing the family pictures and what they were up to from her posts.

Sometime before xmas she blocked me on instagram, and I have no idea why. Her profile is also still public. I dont want to bring it up to my family member, but it seems super weird.

[Anonymous]

I wonder if this happens sometimes accidentally or without the person unfriending. I had it happen with someone similar, but even less interaction. Just likes on posts and happy birthdays. And I just post once every two months or so, not annoying. They’re still friends with the 50 other people from my class. I don’t care but I really don’t this person unfriended me. Am I delusional?

[Anonymous]

This is one of the reasons why I finally quit social media. A couple of times I saw friend suggestions that were people I was friends with. They had unfriended me. I also found myself envious and annoyed by people who were more successful in my field, and even though thats hard to admit, its true. My life is fine without it. It was fun for many years but it's also a chore and a time suck.

[Anonymous]

Do you post or share any political articles or socially controversial material?

[Anonymous]

I went through a cycle where I defriended people I wasn’t actually friends with IRL. It just started to feel weird. Then after that I quit FB altogether.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do you post or share any political articles or socially controversial material?

this is a good question. one reason I left facebook is that I had a few really sour experiences with cancel-culture type groups and individuals, and I just did not want to be in their orbit at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do you post or share any political articles or socially controversial material?

Or do you post a lot?

I hid or unfriended people who were posting every candyland or wordle result.

[Anonymous]

I had a similar thing happen. Growing up I had been particularly close to this friend bc we didn’t same after school activity seriously for years. Her parents were pretty uninvolved, so my parents went out of their way to drive her a ton, take her to rehearsals, etc. I didn’t understand why she unfriended me and blocked me on instagram. Well fast forward a few years and I have friend and follow requests from her and her new MLM type pages she’s created. She’s also sent friendly messages. Nope, not interested at this point.

[Anonymous]

OP here. Nothing political or controversial ever, and I only occasionally post, maybe once a quarter I’ll post a few pics of what we’ve been up to and they are always well received.

[Anonymous]

God social media truly creates more problems than it solves.

[Anonymous]

If you’re not in touch at all, she may have decided to prune her friend list to people she’s actually still in contact with. You don’t know what her relationships are with your other friends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:God social media truly creates more problems than it solves.

I mean, I’m only making conversation. This isn’t a “problem” at all. I have fully moved on after this post. I’m just curious and find it humorous.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Nothing political or controversial ever, and I only occasionally post, maybe once a quarter I’ll post a few pics of what we’ve been up to and they are always well received.

Maybe stuff is going on with her DD and it became painful or upsetting for her to see posts from you about your same-age DD. I don't do Facebook but I have learned as a parent that sometimes it's the friendships with the people whose kids are most like yours, and closest in age, that are harder, because it's too easy to compare or for people to feel competitive. I have a mom friend I met when our kids were babies who I keep a bit at arms length because I see how often our conversations fall into natural comparison between our kids who are almost the exact same age, and I don't think it's healthy, even though I like her a lot.

[Anonymous]

That is very strange OP.

I only unfriend people who smug post. If you can look at your posts and they're infrequent and harmless, then it's probably just something weird about her.