Moving Away from childhood friend

[Anonymous]

We moved to the suburbs when DD1 was 10 months old. Literally the day we moved in the next door neighbors were having a bday party for their 1 year old in the yard and invited us over. The girls are 9 weeks apart and since then have been best friends (they are now second graders).

We just went into contract and our selling our house. We made the tough decision because we now have a 2 year old as well and it just isnt big enough for us anymore. Well we ended up with multiple offers and way over list now financially we cannot not sell this house. Its a windfall for us.

We are planning to stay in the area but the other mom called me and basically broke down in tears that we are leaving and the girls wont have each other (they go to different schools but literally every day meet at 430 and play till dinner and all weekend).

Im now just so upset. I never had a best friend neighbor as a kid and I feel like my daughter is going to lose a solid positive thing in her life (she has had a rough year in school).

Will this work out? How do i navigate this? We plan to of course stay in touch and have playdates but that convience of “go outside and find larla” will be gone.

My DD is yet unbothered because she’s focused on designing her new bedroom in the new house which i told her she could do. I dont think she’s thought thru the losing Larla aspect yet.

[Anonymous]

You're moving within the area, not across the country or to another continent. You will find ways to maintain this friendship, or it will fizzle. Either way, it will be ok.

[Anonymous]

If the girls were to continue going to different schools, that is a huge divided. Enough of a divide, that you moving out of the neighborhood won't matter. Once you move, make the effort. Make sure it it you making the effort if you are sincere in wanting the girls to keep getting together.

[Anonymous]

a huge divide

[Anonymous]

We stayed in the same neighborhood as my kids grew up.
Some of those close friendships lasted through the years, but a lot didn't. So I don't think a close friendship in 2nd grade is a reason to stay or go. The girls could easily grow apart in a few years. (Or maybe not, if they are truly a great fit, frequent playdates will keep that up.)

[Anonymous]

I get very emotional when I realize my friends or my kids' friends are moving away. Then eventually over time when the distance grows wider, I realize that it was only me who had that intense feeling. The party who moves doesn't even think about the relationships the way I think. It is just a part of life for them, to make their lives better and convenient. I think they are right and that is practically the right thing to do. However, some people like me are overly sensitive and that's okay too. Your neighbor will likely calm down over time. It is not that you are moving overseas or in a completely different time zone. You and your neighbor will figure out ways to continue keeping in touch.

[Anonymous]

You've made your decision so being in tears doesn't help. What you can do is make a huge effort to facilitate the girls hanging out (e.g. invite Larla over every Tues and Thurs and pick her up and drop off), if it's actually important to you that your daughter doesn't lose the friendship.

My third grader is still bummed that we don't see his second grade best friend any more. He only moved 1.5 miles away, I pass their house on my way to my younger kid's day care, they are just in a different school zone. We got them together last summer and they had fun in camps together, but the parents just stopped responding after school started. It's their right, they don't have to hang out,

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You've made your decision so being in tears doesn't help. What you can do is make a huge effort to facilitate the girls hanging out (e.g. invite Larla over every Tues and Thurs and pick her up and drop off), if it's actually important to you that your daughter doesn't lose the friendship.

My third grader is still bummed that we don't see his second grade best friend any more. He only moved 1.5 miles away, I pass their house on my way to my younger kid's day care, they are just in a different school zone. We got them together last summer and they had fun in camps together, but the parents just stopped responding after school started. It's their right, they don't have to hang out,

...but I'm still salty that my kid misses one of the only other kids on his wavelength because they moved a mile and don't get to play without parental organizing.

Sorry mobile interface wouldn't let me scroll down to finish.

[Anonymous]

My son's BFF moved away in 4th grade. I was literally crying over us losing our best friends. They are now in 7th, and still see each other a few times a year, and they pick up right where they left off. You have to make the effort though.

[Anonymous]

Can you set up a standing weekend playdate? Maybe every Saturday they have a sleepover and alternate each week whose house.

[Anonymous]

House prices are inflated everywhere, so a windfall selling just equates to paying too much elsewhere.

In any case, what's done is done. At this point, definitely commit to regular playdates, at least for the first couple months, so it buffers the loss.

Hopefully there will be some kids on your new street!