MIL and DH not speaking to each other WWYD
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Anonymous
| DH really at odds with his mom but I don’t think she’s bad enough to deprive our kids of a loving grandparent. He’s a handful himself. I am on good terms with both MIL and DH. How would you handle? |
Anonymous
|
I'd say "I'm going to take the kids to Susan's on Sunday. Are you coming with us, or should I plan to go without you?" Then if Susan brings up their issues I'd say "Susan, I don't want to deprive the kids of a loving grandparent, which you are. You and Mark are adults and I'm going to let you two work out your issues as such, while I stay out of it."
You say the same last line to your husband. Repeat any time they try to draw you in or vent to you about the other. |
Anonymous
| Depends on what they are fighting about. |
Anonymous
| Sounds like the perfect scenario. I wish DH would cut out his mother like that. |
Anonymous
| Stay out of it. |
Anonymous
+1, this is exactly how I would handle it. Sounds like the two of them need a breather, but that doesn’t mean the kids need to be deprived of their grandparent. I would however shut down any conversations Susan wants to start with you about your husband. |
Anonymous
| It depends. Why is he at odds with his mother? |
Anonymous
| What’s the issue? |
Anonymous
| I just back my DH 100% on everything to do with his parents even if I think he’s wrong. This is the only category where I do that (I think). I have a good relationship with my in laws but it’s not authentic in the sense that I’m not willing to cross my spouse to maintain it. So it stays pretty surface. |
Anonymous
|
They are adults and their relationship is THEIRS to manage.
I would talk to DH about you bringing the kids to see her every now and then, and inviting her to things like violin concerts or park play dates every now and then, but not your home. But talk to him first. |
Anonymous
| I’d stay out of it. Trust your dh. |
Anonymous
| Stay out of it. Defer to your dh as he is the one who has years of history with her. |
Anonymous
|
I would stay out of it and by all means do not insert your children into this conflict.
Have you spoken with your spouse about why he is distancing himself from his mother? If he is overreacting (which you seem to indicate in your OP), then this will blow over. If he’s not, well, you’ll just have to accept that they don’t get along. |
Anonymous
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Also, he’s not depriving your kids of a relationship with her. He doesn’t have that kind of power.
Does your MIL own a phone? Why are you more aligned with your MIL than your spouse? |
Anonymous
| Stay out of it!!! He can manage that relationship. |