What can I do to feel more attractive?

[Anonymous]

I’ve been a mess all year. I look tired all the time, pale from winter. I desperately needed a haircut and got one and that helped for all of a day, then I got sick. Lips chapped from mouth breathing, nose red, eyes watery. Hot mess. Then I felt better but immediately got my period, so, bloated, greasy, just gross. Now I just feel sort of defeated. What can I do by this weekend to feel more attractive? More put together? More “alive”?

[Anonymous]

I am a firm believer in exercise to feel better, even if it's as simple as streaming a TV show or movie, and marching in place while I do it. Something to jar the brain out of the spiraling down place. Then a hot shower. Hope you feel better!

[Anonymous]

If you look at past pictures of you, do you identify, without outside help, whether you were on your period or not?

I ask because a lot of women feel less attractive on their period and more attractive around ovulation - it's nature's way of ensuring specie survival But objectively, from the point of view of an outsider, there isn't any discernible difference.

I've found that I get hit on a little more around ovulation, but I haven't figured out whether there's any truth to the pheromone theory or whether it's simply that I'm more outgoing at that time.

What you need to do is stop wallowing in your misery, force yourself to dress up and look presentable, and go out and socialize. It's the feedback that will help you feel alive!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am a firm believer in exercise to feel better, even if it's as simple as streaming a TV show or movie, and marching in place while I do it. Something to jar the brain out of the spiraling down place. Then a hot shower. Hope you feel better!

Thanks! I actually do exercise every day. It definitely improves the mood, but sadly, and definitely, not my looks in the short term, in the moment! I appreciate your reply!

[Anonymous]

Make yourself a fantastic smoothie or fresh juice. Take a long shower with major grooming and scrubbing. Finish with cold water. Face mask.
Get in touch with your girlfriends and make plans to spent a few hours together.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you look at past pictures of you, do you identify, without outside help, whether you were on your period or not?

I ask because a lot of women feel less attractive on their period and more attractive around ovulation - it's nature's way of ensuring specie survival But objectively, from the point of view of an outsider, there isn't any discernible difference.

I've found that I get hit on a little more around ovulation, but I haven't figured out whether there's any truth to the pheromone theory or whether it's simply that I'm more outgoing at that time.

What you need to do is stop wallowing in your misery, force yourself to dress up and look presentable, and go out and socialize. It's the feedback that will help you feel alive!

Thank you. I definitely wouldn’t know it in pictures, you’re right, and who knows how I appear to others. The point is, I want to feel attractive to myself! Maybe it is more of a mood thing that I need to snap out of. It feels like chicken and egg! I’d feel better if I felt I didn’t look so exhausted!

[Anonymous]

You could start sleeping around. Seemed to work for my ex.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Make yourself a fantastic smoothie or fresh juice. Take a long shower with major grooming and scrubbing. Finish with cold water. Face mask.
Get in touch with your girlfriends and make plans to spent a few hours together.

Thanks! I like this plan. I can do most of this tonight. I might also give myself an at-home mani pedi and actually put on jewelry tomorrow. I admit I’ve been majorly slacking.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you look at past pictures of you, do you identify, without outside help, whether you were on your period or not?

I ask because a lot of women feel less attractive on their period and more attractive around ovulation - it's nature's way of ensuring specie survival But objectively, from the point of view of an outsider, there isn't any discernible difference.

I've found that I get hit on a little more around ovulation, but I haven't figured out whether there's any truth to the pheromone theory or whether it's simply that I'm more outgoing at that time.

What you need to do is stop wallowing in your misery, force yourself to dress up and look presentable, and go out and socialize. It's the feedback that will help you feel alive!

Thank you. I definitely wouldn’t know it in pictures, you’re right, and who knows how I appear to others. The point is, I want to feel attractive to myself! Maybe it is more of a mood thing that I need to snap out of. It feels like chicken and egg! I’d feel better if I felt I didn’t look so exhausted!

The point is that you can't wait until you think you look more attractive. The goal for right now is to feel comforted, and the easiest way to do this is to do something with your friends. You will come home refreshed, not obsessed with yourself, and more secure that people like you for who you are. It will tide you over for when you feel a little more physically attractive.

Looks fade with time, so you'd better practice being happy during the inevitable times when you're sick or on your period. For all of the lucky ones, that will become permanent with age. The alternative is to die young. Surely you don't want that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a firm believer in exercise to feel better, even if it's as simple as streaming a TV show or movie, and marching in place while I do it. Something to jar the brain out of the spiraling down place. Then a hot shower. Hope you feel better!

Thanks! I actually do exercise every day. It definitely improves the mood, but sadly, and definitely, not my looks in the short term, in the moment! I appreciate your reply!

I hear you. When I get in that zone, it is so hard. Sometimes just talking about it helps make it not feel so bad. I hope "talking" here helps!

[Anonymous]

There was a study some time ago that found that tired people are perceived as less attractive than well rested people.

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5451790/

The cure is easy and cheap. Take a weekend and just rest, preferably with lots of water, good healthy foods, and time spent outside. Get your skin exposed to the sun, even if only for a little bit. Whatever chores or kid crap you have to do can wait.

[Anonymous]

Yes a weekend with lots of sleep or even take off a day of work and rest when everyone else is out for the day. I like to do a few days cleanse that is mostly just fruits and vegetables, everyday eating from a big pot of cabbage soup with tomato base and lots of spices, garlic, onion, lemon, ACV. Jumpstarts your metabolism. Also love baths. You can get a face mask, file your nails, moisturize everything. Maybe get a new cosmetic like a new eyeshadow palette or a new lipstick (or both!) to give yourself something fun and pretty to play with. Also love getting a new dress! Go outside to somewhere you love (park, busy shopping area) walking around and enjoying yourself. I also like on days like that, when I put a lot of effort into my look, to go to somewhere with a nice background and take a really good selfie. It helps boost my confidence. Also you can get some lingerie and seduce your man to get the extra special orgasmic glow. You got this!