Help! Neighbor won’t leave me alone. Feel like prisoner in my own house!

[Anonymous]

Every time I step outside, my elderly neighbor wants to talk. She will wave me over to ask one question or another. It’s getting to the point I don’t even want to leave my house! She sits on her porch all day long. She’s also easily offended so I don’t want to do or say anything that will cause her to become vindictive; I have to live here!

Yesterday I went out to get the mail and she called me over to ask me about the sidewalks. This morning I went for a walk before I had to log on a work and she called me over to ask me if I heard a loud truck last night. The other day I was out doing some yard cleanup, fully involved in what I was doing with headphones, and she called me over to ask if I wanted to go through her books.

I try to pretend I don’t hear her or see her, but that’s not always easy, especially when she barricades me as soon as I step out the door. I will also say things like, “Ok, have to go cook/work/get a drink of water” but she just keeps talking!

Help!

[Anonymous]

calls me over? Say, sorry Bertha, I need to get busy doing XYZ.

[Anonymous]

I would just wave and say, “hi Bertha; gotta run to a call/meeting now!” If she’s easily offended then maybe she’ll stop talking to you.

[Anonymous]

Put AirPods in and mouths that you are on a call.

[Anonymous]

What sort of vindictive behavior do you think she would exhibit if you cut her off?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What sort of vindictive behavior do you think she would exhibit if you cut her off?

OP here. Well, our across the street neighbor “offended” her when he moved in by proclaiming he keeps to himself, and she calls the police and zoning enforcement on him all the time, and will gladly tell you about it. I feel trapped!

[Anonymous]

I have a neighbor sort of like this. I try to have longer chats with her maybe once every 10 days. So like if I’m just going for a walk around the block on a break between meetings, I’ll spend 5-10 minutes talking with her. Other times, I’ll say hi for one minute and then say I have to get going on XYZ. I’m often going to pick up kids or going to an appointment and I just wave and say ‘running late again!!’ And get into my car and basically ignore her calling out to me. But I don’t feel guilty because I do try to chat with her when I can.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a neighbor sort of like this. I try to have longer chats with her maybe once every 10 days. So like if I’m just going for a walk around the block on a break between meetings, I’ll spend 5-10 minutes talking with her. Other times, I’ll say hi for one minute and then say I have to get going on XYZ. I’m often going to pick up kids or going to an appointment and I just wave and say ‘running late again!!’ And get into my car and basically ignore her calling out to me. But I don’t feel guilty because I do try to chat with her when I can.

OP here. This is sort of what I’ve been trying to do lately, but I think I have made it worse! Like, she thinks we are “friends” now or something, if that makes sense.

[Anonymous]

Easy peasy - every time she approaches you, ask her for money. Tell her you’re having trouble making ends meet and could really use some cash if she can spare any. Do this EVERY TIME she approaches you. Constantly ask about money.


Eventuality she’ll come to dread even seeing you, and will flee at the sight of you.


The asking for money thing works like a champ. I’ve used that tactic myself in a similar situation with an annoying coworker.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Easy peasy - every time she approaches you, ask her for money. Tell her you’re having trouble making ends meet and could really use some cash if she can spare any. Do this EVERY TIME she approaches you. Constantly ask about money.


Eventuality she’ll come to dread even seeing you, and will flee at the sight of you.


The asking for money thing works like a champ. I’ve used that tactic myself in a similar situation with an annoying coworker.

You are an evil genius.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would just wave and say, “hi Bertha; gotta run to a call/meeting now!” If she’s easily offended then maybe she’ll stop talking to you.

1. I would do that.

2. OP, your neighbor is mentally ill and you will probably end up offending her at some point anyway. She might not go to the lengths she's gone with the other neighbor, or maybe she will, but you have no way to control that, so let it go and stick to a routine you can live with.

3. If her behavior is due to Alzheimer's or certain other forms of dementia, she will get worse, and might become more aggressive and vindictive, because that how the disease typically progresses. Again, there is nothing you can do to stop that. You need to stay vigilant and be ready to call the police if she does anything dangerous.

4. Sorry you're going through this. I wouldn't want such a neighbor either.

[Anonymous]

What’s the fence situation? Do you have one?

[Anonymous]

Smile, wave, point at phone. Keep moving.

[Anonymous]

She's going to die sooner than later. I would just stop talking to her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Easy peasy - every time she approaches you, ask her for money. Tell her you’re having trouble making ends meet and could really use some cash if she can spare any. Do this EVERY TIME she approaches you. Constantly ask about money.


Eventuality she’ll come to dread even seeing you, and will flee at the sight of you.


The asking for money thing works like a champ. I’ve used that tactic myself in a similar situation with an annoying coworker.

Oh my GOD this is brilliant! My nosiest neighbor just recently downsized and moved to a condo in Arizona sadly. But I truly feel that technique would have worked wonders with him.