My kid is crazy

[Anonymous]

My kid is nuts. He’s only in 9th grade and has already started the college craze. When I look at his search history, it’s all about T10s and how to get in and how to boost your SAT score (which he hasn’t even taken) and stuff like that. I just want him to be a kid without worrying about this. Obviously I want him to go to a T10 but I don’t want him to sacrifice his childhood for it. How can I convince him to calm down?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My kid is nuts. He’s only in 9th grade and has already started the college craze. When I look at his search history, it’s all about T10s and how to get in and how to boost your SAT score (which he hasn’t even taken) and stuff like that. I just want him to be a kid without worrying about this. Obviously I want him to go to a T10 but I don’t want him to sacrifice his childhood for it. How can I convince him to calm down?

If he is doing this of his own accord and not because of subtle parental pressure then why convince him to calm down. Let him know that T10s are looking for well rounded kids and he needs to develop passions outside of school.

[Anonymous]

This was my DD as well. She was stressed about getting into a “good school” since middle school. She is now a junior, and already knows as much about the college application process, new digital SAT, etc. than I do. And I have been reading up on this ever since my first child went started the process 4 years ago. She knows when the common app opens, and has already started various drafts of essays.

It’s funny, because 4 years ago when my son went through the process, I rolled my eyes at people who said their kid was self motivated and initiated a lot of the steps in the process. I pretty much had to hold my son‘s hand and bribe him to prep for the SAT, write his essays, and check his portal’s But now I know that I have one, I see that some kids are just built this way. It does make it a lot easier for us parents. For example, I had the college board login info for my son, and my daughter refuses to give it to me. So it’s all on her.

I’m actually glad that my kids are so different, because otherwise I would take it for granted that was more normal. If I left it up to my son, he’d still be sitting here but now he’s a thriving college junior.

[Anonymous]

Humble braggart.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Humble braggart.

Yes.

[Anonymous]

In my experience, kids are gonna do what they're gonna do. Probably to get into a T10 you have to be a little crazy like that. I say hang on and enjoy the ride!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Obviously I want him to go to a T10

Clearly that's his problem.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Obviously I want him to go to a T10

Clearly that's his problem.

+1. I caught that too. Hey Mom— he’s on to you. If you want it to be less important to him, make it less important to you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My kid is nuts. He’s only in 9th grade and has already started the college craze. When I look at his search history, it’s all about T10s and how to get in and how to boost your SAT score (which he hasn’t even taken) and stuff like that. I just want him to be a kid without worrying about this. Obviously I want him to go to a T10 but I don’t want him to sacrifice his childhood for it. How can I convince him to calm down?

There are worse problems to have with kids. Most students who get into T20 schools are very self-motivated. Just roll with it. Remind him he's going to have great options regardless of where he goes to college. Being a good student, being self-disciplined, being a good person, and taking an interest in things will get him far. With kids like this you want to alleviate some of the internal pressure they may be feeling without interfering with their sense of ambition or purpose.

[Anonymous]

Daughter is the same way. She’s in ninth grade and begged us to get a college counselor now. Total opposite of our other kid. This is self-directed. We’ve had to dial her back for as long as we can remember.

[Anonymous]

I have an older ds and a younger dd. I think after seeing the older ds go through the process and our struggles to get him to focus on the process, my younger dd is much more self driven and motivated. Maybe it is a boy vs girl thing as well.

[Anonymous]

It’s great that they are interested, but you need to explain probability right now some they know not to put their eggs in T10 basket. Explain that you can do everything right and still not get in when those schools get to pick from thousands of excellent applicants.

[Anonymous]

My junior DD would have no idea what someone means if they said T10 or T20 when talking colleges with her.
Not even sure she knows exactly what the Ivy League means.
She’s honed in on a few VA schools she’ll apply to and gets she needs a safety.
She’s smart, creative and mature- but not at all tuned into the college lexicon. I don’t think she’s missing out on anything.

[Anonymous]

I guess it is good he is self-directed but he is going to be annoying to his peers but also fit in well at the try-hard schools.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Obviously I want him to go to a T10

Clearly that's his problem.

+1. I caught that too. Hey Mom— he’s on to you. If you want it to be less important to him, make it less important to you.

Yes, this is the difference between OP’s son and these other self-driven kids. He knows what OP wants and he doesn’t want to disappoint so he’s making himself crazy. OP, you need a sit-down where you tell him - honestly, now - that you won’t be disappointed if he goes doesn’t go T10. Because you won’t. Right?