A lot of family visiting - logistics help
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Anonymous
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My DS is the oldest grandchild on both sides and pretty much all of our family has decided they want to attend his elementary school graduation. There are 13 people between DH’s parents, my parents, DH’s brother/wife/2 kids, my brother/wife/1 kid and DH’s aunt and uncle. Since everyone lives out of town they are all making a vacation out of it and will be here for 5-6 days.
Thankfully most are staying at a hotel, but I know they want to spend as much time all together and don’t have any interest in sightseeing or other activities - this translates to 13 extra people being at our house 24/7 making a mess and needing to be fed. We are planning to treat everyone to a nice graduation dinner at a restaurant and also host a BBQ one weekend night. Beyond that how do we navigate meals so we aren’t on the hook to feed everyone lunch and dinner for 5 days straight? Should we make a couple other casual dinner reservations and then ask everyone to split it once there? Do we need to address this ahead of time so it’s not awkward? We also really don’t want everyone hanging out all day doing nothing, but is there a nice way to make that clear? We already suggested that everyone take advantage of being in DC but the general response is that they don’t want to do anything. Really dreading this. |
Anonymous
| No sightseeing or any other activities? That rules out alot! |
Anonymous
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You need to learn from this nightmare and not tell family about events like this, and set more boundaries. "Sorry, they only give four tickets, so Dan and I are going, plus the two younger siblings."
Tough shit if they dont' want to do sightseeing. "Today we're going to see the capital, and getting Dunkin' Donuts on the way. We're leaving at 8am!" And then take your family and go. You can not spring people having to pay at a restaurant while they are actually AT the restaurant. You needed to say to them "We can't afford to feed 13 extra people for five days, so we're happy to host a graduation dinner and then a BBQ but other than that, you're going to be on your own - I don't know if that changes how long you want to stay in town ..." Also tell them "Our kid/s don't just sit at home all day - we're an active family who runs around doing things. You're welcome to come with us, but a lot of times it'll just be errands or going for a hike, or a walk around the neighborhood." |
Anonymous
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You have 2 nights covered. Assume 3 other nights and entertainment of people just being together. (I would think guests might offer to host one night??)
1. Host dinner at restaurant. 2. Backyard BBQ. 3. Pizza night and charades. 4. Sandwich night. (Put out cold cuts, bread, fruit, chips.) Pictionary. 5. Pot of chili, slaw, cornbread and chill. After 2 or 3 nights, people might start wanting to do something else. |
Anonymous
| Why are they planning to come for 6 days if they don’t plan to leave the house? |
Anonymous
| While I get this will be a pain in the a**, you'll make great memories. I have learned that what might not seem great in the moment often makes some of the best memories to reminisce about later. Remember the time we.... |
Anonymous
| If you go out and want to split costs, go to a buffet so you can each pay your way; they usually charge people at the entrance so that's easy. If they don't want to go sightseeing, is there something else they like... bowling is good because people rotate and they sell food and it's indoors and those who don't want to bowl can watch. Or maybe go see a movie one night? Mini golf? If there's a pool at the hotel, hang out there? |
Anonymous
| Omg - all of this for elementary graduation? I can’t even. |
Anonymous
| Are you sure they are all allowed at the elementary graduation? Our school has limits on the number of guests due to the size of the gym. |
Anonymous
Yeah, why have you made this a thing, OP? You are reaping what you sowed. |
Anonymous
This. Our school didn’t tell us there was a limit, but I know if every graduate brought 10+ guests, they’d run out of space FAST. |
Anonymous
| Drop them off in front of a Smithsonian and run! |
Anonymous
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Did you check to make sure that the school even allows these extra guests? At my children's school, due to fire hazard regulations, no extra guests apart from parents were allowed for elementary and middle school ceremonies. There were a maximum of 6 tickets per student for the high school graduation.
Setting aside the total ridiculousness of a horde of relatives descending on a very minor event... I wouldn't put yourself out too much. All the food apart from the dinner and BBQ should be split. You will have a list of one museum/zoo/aquarium/park for them to visit each day, with directions and suggested places to eat. What you DO NOT want is them eating endless snacks at your house. This is crazy, but I suppose that if everyone's in a good mood, it can become like PP said - a good memory. |
Anonymous
| A few ideas: proactively choose one night where you all are busy (soccer practice, school the next morning, whatever and suggest that be a night people make a plan to dine on their own and you’re happy to suggest restaurants near their hotels). Ask your parents or DHs parents if they’d be willing to “host” a lunch or dinner for the group, and with kids sometimes that could be easier at your house, but they order the Chinese food or whatnot. I am positive that your family just wants to use this as a reunion and they won’t expect you to feed 13 for every meal- not to mention you’d have to run to the store every day bc who has the fridge space?! Send others to the store for bagels and eggs, deli sandwich ingredients, etc. |
Anonymous
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I am sorry but this might take the cake for the stupidest thing I have ever read on dcum. Elementary school graduation?! Hosting 13 people over 6 days? Why?!?
I thought this was going to be about high school or college graduation. I didn’t even know elementary school does graduation. |