Marrying a big spender

[Anonymous]

My soon to-be husband and I grew up with different incomes - me middle class and him upper middle class. We both had good childhoods but his was more “luxury” as opposed to mine. I’ve always been money conscious and like to save, shop sales, buy big ticket items during holiday sales, etc. He’s much more comfortable spending money whenever he wants. He doesn’t bother to look at prices at the grocery store, never cares about sales, and often buys the most expensive option.

This is by no means a big issue because he makes a good living and still saves a large majority of his income. I would appreciate advice on how to deal with this down the road? I don’t want a tight A wife.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My soon to-be husband and I grew up with different incomes - me middle class and him upper middle class. We both had good childhoods but his was more “luxury” as opposed to mine. I’ve always been money conscious and like to save, shop sales, buy big ticket items during holiday sales, etc. He’s much more comfortable spending money whenever he wants. He doesn’t bother to look at prices at the grocery store, never cares about sales, and often buys the most expensive option.

This is by no means a big issue because he makes a good living and still saves a large majority of his income. I would appreciate advice on how to deal with this down the road? I don’t want a tight A wife.

What exactly are you asking? How do you foresee this being a problem if he is saving a majority of his income? Do you believe you should dictate how he spends money once you get married? If so good luck with that.

[Anonymous]

Why not make big money

[Anonymous]

OP I grew up extremely poor

DH wealthy and is a big spender.

We have been married for over 40 years

I grew to become a discerning spender.

All of our children except the first born super frugal.

What I learned was DH is a super hard worker.

We never used his family money. It’s in a trust. It will go to charity. We raised competent adults who support themselves quite well.

[Anonymous]

With finances being one of the leading cause of divorce, I understand your concern for wanting to get ahead of any potential issues. As your lives becomes more intertwined with mortgages, child expenses, etc., this topic becomes more relevant. Set the expectation now that these high cost items must be discussed and agreed together. Talk about how disagreements will be handled.

[Anonymous]

I dunno we only share joint expenses and each of us can spend whatever on discretionary. Only works if you each have enough.

[Anonymous]

Spending isn’t an issue if you can afford it/still save meaningfully afterward. It’s one of the benefits of having a high income - you don’t need to be frugal and still get ahead financially.