Dating divorced men in their fifties

[Anonymous]

My friend is newly divorced and in her late forties. She has been meeting/dating men in their fifties who are busy with their jobs.

Is this just code for not that into you?

My friend was wondering if the guy is just juggling multiple women or the guy is indeed busy with his job. Guy is a law partner with two grown kids. I personally think he sounds still married.

[Anonymous]

He is probably busy if he is a partner. Also, many people late 40s and 50s don’t want full blown relationships and not willing to make time for them.

I am a woman and one of these.

[Anonymous]

I'm divorced, in my 50s, not a law partner (I have a nice cushy GS-15 government gig), and have no kids. But if I were to try to date someone right now, I think the best I could do is, "Um, how's a week from Wednesday work for you?" I can't even imagine how busy someone with kids would be.

People our age just have a lot going on. Doesn't mean he's dating around.

[Anonymous]

Nah I really am that busy.

[Anonymous]

If he is into you he will see you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm divorced, in my 50s, not a law partner (I have a nice cushy GS-15 government gig), and have no kids. But if I were to try to date someone right now, I think the best I could do is, "Um, how's a week from Wednesday work for you?" I can't even imagine how busy someone with kids would be.

People our age just have a lot going on. Doesn't mean he's dating around.

It doesn’t really sound like you want to be dating, PP. If you did, you could do better than “week from Wednesday.” So even if you’re not dating around, it probably wouldn’t be what OP’s friend is looking for.

She should keep her options open and date other people.

[Anonymous]

Men who want to find a way.

[Anonymous]

It doesn’t really matter what the reason is. If the person isn’t showing up, you have all the answers you need. Life is short.

[Anonymous]

Not hard to find out if somebody is married. If interested enough to date seriously, run a background check w a PI ( run tags, records, etc)

Spend the time / money now, not later.

[Anonymous]

Women are always looking for a reason to say "no".

Men that age with good jobs always have options so unless your friend is a 25 year old bikini model, an older man is going to live his life and fit the 50 year old woman in when convenient.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It doesn’t really matter what the reason is. If the person isn’t showing up, you have all the answers you need. Life is short.

+1. If they don’t do what you want to do on your time table, move on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It doesn’t really matter what the reason is. If the person isn’t showing up, you have all the answers you need. Life is short.

This. Dating for anyone in their late 40s + should be a positive experience, or what’s the point? If it’s not a positive experience for any reason, then move on, and focus your time and energy elsewhere.

[Anonymous]

I’m 50 dating a guy 52 and that’s how our lives are. To me it’s a feature, not a bug. I have 2 kids and a lot of friends. I don’t want a needy man insisting I find a way to squeeze him in after school activities, sports, girls night out, etc. we like each other and see each other when we can. I wouldn’t assume he is married, just settled into his own life. But if she wants more than that, she should keep looking.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Women are always looking for a reason to say "no".

Men that age with good jobs always have options so unless your friend is a 25 year old bikini model, an older man is going to live his life and fit the 50 year old woman in when convenient.

Feeling seconded and not being desired kills it for me. Last minute scheduling, formalistic texts etc. It’s called bread-crumbing dating style, really affects woman’s self esteem.
I stay single and don’t engage in these flings until I meet someone who makes me feel special. I would rather date a journalist who makes me feel that way, than a law partner who fits me in after all 25 year olds

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Women are always looking for a reason to say "no".

Men that age with good jobs always have options so unless your friend is a 25 year old bikini model, an older man is going to live his life and fit the 50 year old woman in when convenient.

Feeling seconded and not being desired kills it for me. Last minute scheduling, formalistic texts etc. It’s called bread-crumbing dating style, really affects woman’s self esteem.
I stay single and don’t engage in these flings until I meet someone who makes me feel special. I would rather date a journalist who makes me feel that way, than a law partner who fits me in after all 25 year olds

100% I would rather date a journalist than a law partner later in life. In fact, the real issue here is dating a 50-something law partner. Hard no. Spend these decades with someone interesting with free time and a soul.