Go big or go small?

[Anonymous]

I'm hoping to get some advice from this community. We are no longer in D.C. We're trying to decide between two private high schools for our son, who is ASD-1 and has anxiety but strong social skills and high intelligence.

One option is a larger, all-boys school with a strong academic reputation, athletics, and formal support for learning differences. The other is a much smaller boys school with a less rigours curriculum, fewer resources and extracurriculars but a potentially more welcoming environment.

We're unsure if the smaller setting would be better for him socially and allow him to thrive (even if there's less offered overall compared to the larger school), or if the larger school's resources and academics would be a better long-term fit.

Any advice from parents who've faced similar choices would be greatly appreciated.

[Anonymous]

For my autistic child, the smaller, more welcoming school is 100% the better choice. She gets overwhelmed in the larger setting and then can't take advantage of any of the opportunities. There might be more of "her people" there, but she wouldn't be able to find them. She's done much better in smaller settings and we've supplemented outside of school with any activities she wants/needs that the smaller school doesn't offer.

[Anonymous]

IMHU: Social setting trumps the other factors. You can get the rigor your child needs anywhere, and (depending on how much need he has) the support they need via specialized tutoring, but how they do with it all can be strongly affected by the social situation. Generally speaking, a comfortable kid will do better academically compared to a depressed kid who is distracted by bad social dynamics.

[Anonymous]

Having taught at a small school, I think they can be very, very challenging places for many kids socially. If a child doesn’t fit into the social mold, it can be isolating.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Having taught at a small school, I think they can be very, very challenging places for many kids socially. If a child doesn’t fit into the social mold, it can be isolating.

This is my thought. Bigger means more options for friends.

[Anonymous]

I have a child with similar profile and we are making similar decision and are leaning towards smaller class/school environment. I think my child will be overwhelmed with anything bigger yet can't see to tell us the school she prefers which I really dont understand so I will be making the decision here and hoping it's the right one. Plus the smaller costs more so if it's not a fit, even more painful!

[Anonymous]

More info needed OP

If these are religious privates neither.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:More info needed OP

If these are religious privates neither.

Catholic schools often have very strong programs and supports for neurodiverse students. It’s part of the educational mandate.

[Anonymous]

Strong social skills? Why is he labeled ASD1?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Strong social skills? Why is he labeled ASD1?

OP here, PDA profile. Masks heavily at school and is able to make friends easily but it's draining.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:More info needed OP

If these are religious privates neither.

Catholic schools often have very strong programs and supports for neurodiverse students. It’s part of the educational mandate.

OP here, both schools we're considering are Catholic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Having taught at a small school, I think they can be very, very challenging places for many kids socially. If a child doesn’t fit into the social mold, it can be isolating.

This is my thought. Bigger means more options for friends.

+1.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:More info needed OP

If these are religious privates neither.

My choice is independent private or Catholic

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:More info needed OP

If these are religious privates neither.

Your bigotry is noted. Your personal animus toward religion is not helpful to OP.

[Anonymous]

I would choose bigger for more social options.