Afraid of losing BF
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Anonymous
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Generally speaking I tend to be a little emotionally guarded. I date guys who are a bit guarded as well.
My current boyfriend wears his heart on his sleeve. I am completely in love with him. It feels so good to be fully open hearted with him. I’m also noticing I’m scared sh*tless. I often think “I never want to be without this man. I hope we never breakup.” The thought of things not working out stresses me out sometimes. It’s like the positive emotions are a little overwhelming for me. Is this completely abnormal? |
Anonymous
Sounds like you have an anxious attachment type. There are some great resources to help with that...there's nothing wrong with you FWIW 
https://www.attachmentproject.com/anxious-attachment-relationships/#:~:text=Someone%20with%20an%20anxious%20attachment%20style%20has%20an%20intense%20fear,occurring%20%E2%80%93%20their%20partner%20leaving%20them. |
Anonymous
| Divorce |
Anonymous
| It’s totally normal and if you have found someone amazing. Does he feel the same? How old are you both? Try not to worry about the future. It’s completely impossible to predict or control it. |
Anonymous
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You need to get over it or else you will effectively cede all power in the relationship.
Enjoy the fun positive ride, but mentally prepare yourself that the relationship could at any time. If you want to get married, be totally honest and communicate that to be sure you are on the same page. |
Anonymous
| Well even if you stay in love, he could die, so you need to learn to deal with some level of uncertainty. |
Anonymous
| Listen to the “love life” podcast, they have great podcasts on anxious attachment, avoidant attachment, etc. I have been happily married for a decade but find this podcast fascinating and I have learned a ton about how people relate to each other in different ways. |
Anonymous
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OP here. To answer some questions…..he loves me also. I don’t think he feels fear though. he seems to be very comfortable and grounded in the relationship.
In terms of ceding power, we don’t operate like that. The lack of power dynamics is new to me. It’s like we both try to out love the other. There is no trying to have the upper hand in a negative way. I’m 38 and he’s 47. The thought of him dying crosses my mind sometimes and that would really suck. I hope we get to spend many decades together. |
Anonymous
| Aw, that’s wonderful, OP. Just try to be in the moment and enjoy it. None of us can predict the future. No matter what happens, you will be okay. The alternative is leaving the relationship and living a safe, risk-free life and I don’t think that’s really on the table, is it? |
Anonymous
Its called honeymoon period of love. |
Anonymous
| I am honestly surprised as a 38 years old woman you feel this way. Usually around this age women are so independent and often disgusted with men. |
Anonymous
I’m. It surprised. I was a late bloomer too. |
Anonymous
You sound naive. Have you ever been in a relationship with a man that lasted longer than a year? |
Anonymous
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I’m really happy for you! It sounds lovely. And you are not naive or dumb, you have both been around for long enough to recognize when things are good or bad.
You do sound anxious, so check out the resources others have posted…you may need to retrain your brain that this is what a healthy relationship looks like. How long have you 2 been dating? |
Anonymous
| Have to train yourself to be fearless. Try podcasts on this, being relentless |