Has anyone wanted to have an additional baby, but your spouse didn’t? How did you get over your baby fever? |
How old are your kids? I was a little like this but super over it once my two were done napping and out of diapers. |
Youngest is 5 |
When my youngest (of 2) went to kinder, I had some pretty bad baby fever even though spouse was a hard no. I'd say it took about 2 years for it to subside. I still think about it wistfully sometimes but it passes pretty quickly. I love the life we are able to give the two we have - we don't have to make many compromises/sacrifices when it comes to things they want to do. |
Yes. We got a dog. |
Never got over it and feel resentful. |
Only way to get over it is to have a baby. |
+1 |
Us too but after a few catastrophes with this dog I think I would have rather had a baby! |
Get over it. Myself and some others I know are in process of divorce from husbands who never really wanted that final child. And they keep reminding us. Men know their limits and we need to respect that for the last longevity of our marriage.
Think if having that additional baby is worth being a single mom at some point ( because these husbands usually abandon, and I’m talking upper middle class families) |
Most people I happen to know with three kids are having major marital issues and I didn’t want to disturb what has so far been a great life. |
My baby fever went away by early 40s. And kids were 3rd grade and up. Things were so easy. Didn't want to upset the apple cart with a new baby. |
It is unfair for you to have to work it over in your mind alone all the time. I recommend engaging your spouse in the conversation. If true, tell them you understand their position is fixed and you respect that but that you need them to understand your own disappointment and feelings of being unfulfilled. It sucks that they may not intuitively understand it, but do your best to walk them through what you are thinking about and ask for (remind them) of your need to process accordingly. That it isn’t one time, but will come up for you from time to time and you’d like their support and validation of your disappointment.
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I had baby fever when my youngest of 2 was about 3 years old. My dh said no and I’m so glad. Our family is complete, I have no regrets. They are teens now and we have plenty going on with them to keep us busy but also can enjoy downtime because we are at that stage. It’s lovely. Traveling is easier, we can still fit in a sedan. The kids get along. We can divide and conquer for activity driving—overall it’s great. |
Be prepared! |