If your teen is sexually active...

[Anonymous]

Um... where are they active? When I was in HS, it was someone's home while the parents were away, or in a car. Ugh.

My kid has been in a relationship for almost a year, and while I know they haven't yet, it's probably coming. Yes, we've had and continue to have all the talks, and I have a good kid who I trust to be careful and caring.

We live in a small house and I am WILDLY uncomfortable with the idea that my kid would do sex stuff while I'm just down the hall folding laundry. That said, I'd be a hypocrite (and deluded) if I tried to ban it. One part of my brain says "normal, natural, you were doing it at that age" etc. Another part says "ew no hell no not in my house ew."

I just don't know how to approach this stage on the practical level.

[Anonymous]

If they’ve been together for a year, they are already doing it.

Did you wait over a year as a teen?

Also most teens that have sex aren’t even in relationships.

BCP and condoms.

[Anonymous]

DCUMs collective head will explode but yes, in our house.

Older teens 19 and now adult (21)

[Anonymous]

They figured out when we’d be gone or his parents would be gone. I looked the other way bc I also didn’t want it to happen when i was home….

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If they’ve been together for a year, they are already doing it.

Did you wait over a year as a teen?

Also most teens that have sex aren’t even in relationships.

BCP and condoms.

Why do people post replies without answering the question? Is it a reading comprehension thing, or a "I must insert myself in all circumstances pay attention to me" thing? Regardless, it's very sad. Pathetic, some might say.

Yes, I had been with my first for about a year when we had sex for the first time. Maybe 11 months.
No, they are not already doing it. I'm sorry you don't have the kind of relationship with your kid where you could be confident of something so essential. But it's probably your own fault.

[Anonymous]

At home. Not my kid, but that’s where their friends do it. Parents aren’t home all the time, are they? After school, evenings, whenever there is free time. Also. Parties, cars, teens are not picky.

[Anonymous]

My house and her house when parents aren't around, or discreetly if they are I guess. They're about to graduate from high school, have been together for 9 months, and I'm not going to shame them for it. As long as they're not making it super obvious, it's fine by me.

[Anonymous]

OP, they are having sex already. Teens always figure it out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, they are having sex already. Teens always figure it out.

Honest question. What was going through your head when you typed and posted this? Was it "my kid deceives me and so OP is likewise deceived"? Was it "OP forgot to ask "is my kid having sex" so I will just answer the question I thought she should have asked"?

I am seriously dying to know what is behind these dumb pointless responses!

[Anonymous]

I kow my DD and her bf are sexually active (she asked me for a obgyn appointment and BC). She is been with him for 2 years. I don’t think they have sex at our home because there is always someone here, she can’t close her bedroom door and it is also a small-ish apartment. But at his house I think they do because he lives only with his mom, who sleeps like a rock and she doesn’t care if they close the door.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My house and her house when parents aren't around, or discreetly if they are I guess. They're about to graduate from high school, have been together for 9 months, and I'm not going to shame them for it. As long as they're not making it super obvious, it's fine by me.

Yeah, I'm so not into shaming here. I'm pretty sex positive, and both kids are total straight-edge cautious types. It's not the fact that someday my kid will have sex that bothers me. I just can't figure out how (or if), practically, to leave them some space. We're very close, so if I'm away from the house, chances are good the kid has tagged along with me. If they're home, I'm probably home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I kow my DD and her bf are sexually active (she asked me for a obgyn appointment and BC). She is been with him for 2 years. I don’t think they have sex at our home because there is always someone here, she can’t close her bedroom door and it is also a small-ish apartment. But at his house I think they do because he lives only with his mom, who sleeps like a rock and she doesn’t care if they close the door.

We also have a rule against closing the door when they're in the bedroom together. Maybe I should back off on that?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I kow my DD and her bf are sexually active (she asked me for a obgyn appointment and BC). She is been with him for 2 years. I don’t think they have sex at our home because there is always someone here, she can’t close her bedroom door and it is also a small-ish apartment. But at his house I think they do because he lives only with his mom, who sleeps like a rock and she doesn’t care if they close the door.

Sad

[Anonymous]

Mel Robbins has this thing where she wants her kids’ experiences to be safe and comfortable so she intentionally leaves them safe in her house (without being there). Kind of freaks me out (my kids aren’t there yet) but it makes a lot of sense and that’s the kind of mom I *want* to be.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I kow my DD and her bf are sexually active (she asked me for a obgyn appointment and BC). She is been with him for 2 years. I don’t think they have sex at our home because there is always someone here, she can’t close her bedroom door and it is also a small-ish apartment. But at his house I think they do because he lives only with his mom, who sleeps like a rock and she doesn’t care if they close the door.

Sad

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