Adult friends vs Mom friends

[Anonymous]

For the past decade, all my friendships have revolved around my kids and moms. I didn’t really differentiate between parents of my kids’ friends and my own friends. When kids were young (babies and toddlers), we met a lot of people during that time making family friends. Back then, kids were happy to go to the playground or anyone’s house and play with new toys. We basically hung out with parents we liked who had kids around the same age who got along. Fast forward 10 years and our kids are in middle and high school. The kids have their own friends and activities. A few moms get together occasionally but not frequently.

Is this normal to just drift apart from these mom friends since the kids no longer are friends or hang out?

There are no more family get togethers, definitely not the way we did when kids were younger.

[Anonymous]

This is a relatively common question on this board, and the consensus seems to be that, yes, mom friends fade as the kids become teens.

I'm close, but not quite there yet (oldest is 10), but there's a group of teenage parents in our neighborhood who have remained friends. Some of the teens are still friends, but mostly the moms hang out (go on walks together, go out for drinks, sometimes even travel together).

I'm hoping I'll remain close with my current mom friends, but, importantly, I'm not friends with the parents of my kids' closest friends. I'm friends with people who I like, and when we get together, our kids play nicely together (but our kids collectively range from 2 to 10).

Anyway, for the OP, did you actually like those mom friends? If so, reach out and make some non-kid-oriented plans! If not, find some new friends!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is a relatively common question on this board, and the consensus seems to be that, yes, mom friends fade as the kids become teens.

I'm close, but not quite there yet (oldest is 10), but there's a group of teenage parents in our neighborhood who have remained friends. Some of the teens are still friends, but mostly the moms hang out (go on walks together, go out for drinks, sometimes even travel together).

I'm hoping I'll remain close with my current mom friends, but, importantly, I'm not friends with the parents of my kids' closest friends. I'm friends with people who I like, and when we get together, our kids play nicely together (but our kids collectively range from 2 to 10).

Anyway, for the OP, did you actually like those mom friends? If so, reach out and make some non-kid-oriented plans! If not, find some new friends!

I was very active in my mom’s group. I was one of the co-leaders and was friends with the others. We used to plan weekly play dates. Sadly my closest friend moved out of state. Then several women got divorced or moved. During elementary, I was very active on the PTA board and became friends with other PTA parents as well as neighbors, parents of kids’ friends, sports, etc. Then we moved and a lot of the kids also moved or had different interests. Everyone played soccer in kindergarten and first grade. Even the kids we played on travel teams or carpooled with years have all drifted away. My kids have new friends in their teens. They are still friends with a few kids from elementary and I’m friendly with the parents but they are the ones we weren’t ever that close with.