Do you allow phone use in your car rides for DC?

[Anonymous]

Huge fight with DS; he’s active in sports. attends Catholic school and has a lot of homework. Am I an ogre for not allowing him to use the phone in my car driving him around? They do not allow phones at school.

DS says it’s his only channel time down while I’m thinking we are preparing you to drive and pay attention. Plus outside of school he will be glued to the phone every chance he gets, including dinner ( quick dinner before sports or studying, not family dinner). Plus, the car is the only time I get a chance to talk to him. Should I let it go? All I get talking with him is grunts anyway.

[Anonymous]

My kid is new to having a phone so I was wondering this, too. So far we have only had a few car rides and on a couple I've said "let's unplug" when I know they'll be going right back on their computer to finish a big school assignment once we get home.

I have a leg to stand on since they used to complain that their carpool buddy became boring once he got a phone and was always staring at it instead of chatting.

Plus they don't want to get eyeglasses so I can keep touting the vision benefits of looking at father distances. I hadn't thought about the soon to be driving point, but that's a good one, too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Huge fight with DS; he’s active in sports. attends Catholic school and has a lot of homework. Am I an ogre for not allowing him to use the phone in my car driving him around? They do not allow phones at school.

DS says it’s his only channel time down while I’m thinking we are preparing you to drive and pay attention. Plus outside of school he will be glued to the phone every chance he gets, including dinner ( quick dinner before sports or studying, not family dinner). Plus, the car is the only time I get a chance to talk to him. Should I let it go? All I get talking with him is grunts anyway.

you lost me at "huge fight with DS" I already think you're to blame.
Try a compromise.

[Anonymous]

Nope. They cannot use their phones in the car. They also have to sit in the front seat with me. (This started when they got their phone at age 13 and continues to this day at age 17. Same rule applies to me when I am their passenger.)

[Anonymous]

Sure, but they don't want to.

My oldest gets car-sick (as do I), and my youngest has such an old phone it doesn't work except to actually telephone people! Which was intentional on my part. My teens' phones are always my old iPhones that don't get software updates anymore

Sometimes you've got to be a little sneaky.

[Anonymous]

I will say that if you don’t allow phone use while being driven I think you are in an extreme minority. Even driving car pool before my kids had phones all the kother lids were on phones. I needle mine about it and tell him he’s getting a bad Uber rating. My daughter is less likely to be on her phone and will chit chat (usually give low her list of grievances about teachers at school). Yesterday I had a successful car conversation with son by letting him control radio choices from his phone and also asking him about his dream vacation and where he would go. But Iits very hit or miss whether he’ll talk to me in car (or really at any time!).

[Anonymous]

No, we don't allow it (young high schooler.) But I'm sure the pushback will grow as they get older.

[Anonymous]

I just want to be clear. They are passengers in the car and you are not allowing them to use the phone? That’s extreme. What’s your reasoning for them not using phones?

[Anonymous]

I allow it, because who the f cares. Oh and guess what? They also have great conversations with me too. And when friends are in the car they are all talking with me too.

Mom of 21 and 15yr old girls - both of which I am super close with.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Huge fight with DS; he’s active in sports. attends Catholic school and has a lot of homework. Am I an ogre for not allowing him to use the phone in my car driving him around? They do not allow phones at school.

DS says it’s his only channel time down while I’m thinking we are preparing you to drive and pay attention. Plus outside of school he will be glued to the phone every chance he gets, including dinner ( quick dinner before sports or studying, not family dinner). Plus, the car is the only time I get a chance to talk to him. Should I let it go? All I get talking with him is grunts anyway.

You get grunts because you are a dictator Catholic mom. I had one and swore I would never be like her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I just want to be clear. They are passengers in the car and you are not allowing them to use the phone? That’s extreme. What’s your reasoning for them not using phones?

It’s so extreme. Do you make his friends all put their phones away too when they are in your car?

[Anonymous]

So, OP, if you were in a situation where you couldn't use your phone for six to eight hours, like jury duty, you wouldn't check your phone either once you got to your car, right?

[Anonymous]

I have no scientific reason. Just some who grew up pre-smart phone and going with a gut feeling. Whatever time I can get them off their devices while I still have the ability to do so, I will ask that of them.

When they are out of the house, my job is done in that regard. We don't restrict their usage up to a certain point at night otherwise and if their are with friends, we view it as a social activity. We don't ask anything of other people's kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have no scientific reason. Just some who grew up pre-smart phone and going with a gut feeling. Whatever time I can get them off their devices while I still have the ability to do so, I will ask that of them.

When they are out of the house, my job is done in that regard. We don't restrict their usage up to a certain point at night otherwise and if their are with friends, we view it as a social activity. We don't ask anything of other people's kids.

Oh, I'm NP not OP.

[Anonymous]

Would you allow him to read a book and not talk to you?