How much do your teen sons talk to you?

[Anonymous]

My 13yo 7th grader has shut me out. I get a lot of “leave me alone” and “ go away”. He seems to be doing ok academically, has As and Bs with no effort. He plays sports and hangs out with friends 2-3 times per week. I have friends whose daughters tell them everything and stay up chatting and others who have sons who definitely talk to them more than our son.

[Anonymous]

I have a 17 year old daughter who tells us nothing. It’s not a boy thing.

[Anonymous]

Sounds normal but don’t stop talking. He roll come back.

[Anonymous]

I have one teen boy and one teen girl and the girl does tell me everything and the boy very little.

“Leave me alone/go away” is RUDE. You can tell him that a more acceptable way of talking to you is to say “I need some space right now”. Don’t accept the rudeness.

That said, are you asking too many questions? My ds and I sometimes go on walks or to get boba and sometimes we barely talk and sometimes we talk a lot. I let him drive the mood most of the time, and this has helped keep our relationship strong.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have one teen boy and one teen girl and the girl does tell me everything and the boy very little.

“Leave me alone/go away” is RUDE. You can tell him that a more acceptable way of talking to you is to say “I need some space right now”. Don’t accept the rudeness.

That said, are you asking too many questions? My ds and I sometimes go on walks or to get boba and sometimes we barely talk and sometimes we talk a lot. I let him drive the mood most of the time, and this has helped keep our relationship strong.

+1. Could you possibly be jumping on him with questions as soon as he gets home from school? With my son, he was much more open to talking when he initiated it, or when he was relaxed. Car rides to/from school were not the time for him to chat, but sitting in a restaurant with me during his away soccer tournaments, he talked. Or some nights before bed when I'd go in his room to say goodnight.

He's now he's a young adult in college and there are times I can't get him on the phone for two seconds, and others were I can't get him to *stop* talking.

[Anonymous]

Why are you allowing him to talk to you that way?

[Anonymous]

7th grader - I read the look on my son's face to see how open he is to talking. When I get him talking about something he cares about, he can be quite animated. The car is a good time, as is right before bed. We do a lot of ribbing/joking around. He just left for school and he told me he loved me and gave me a hug like he does every day. I'm a total over the top mom in the house, hugs, do you know how much I love you, I'm so proud of you, you are my favorite son (I also have a daughter) etc., but I am super chill around his friends.

[Anonymous]

Something I started that has helped a lot is letting him come to me first. When I get home I shout hello down the stairs and he comes and talks to me and when he’s ready, often not until dinner. The car is also a good spot for conversation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My 13yo 7th grader has shut me out. I get a lot of “leave me alone” and “ go away”. He seems to be doing ok academically, has As and Bs with no effort. He plays sports and hangs out with friends 2-3 times per week. I have friends whose daughters tell them everything and stay up chatting and others who have sons who definitely talk to them more than our son.

Making As and Bs with no effort is not a good thing OP, just FYI.

[Anonymous]

Mine mumbles a lot. He's very talkative in school but runs out of words by the time he gets home and sort of grunts at people. Even to other adults.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why are you allowing him to talk to you that way?

+1

[Anonymous]

Maybe it's just me, but leave me alone and go away would not bother me. Those of you getting bothered by that, do you actually have teens?

[Anonymous]

I have a 13 year old and 15 year old boys. The 15 year old is kind of quiet but tells me a lot (what parties have drinking, his girl troubles, random gossip) but I think he is unusual. The 13 year old has always been more taciturn about the important stuff but will talk my ear off about baseball stats and I pretend to care to keep him talking.

And yeah, if either said “leave me alone!” regularly that wouldn’t fly in my house. “Mom, I need some space right now” is fine and will be respected. There are definitely times when they are grumpy and mostly just grunt and I let that slide.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Maybe it's just me, but leave me alone and go away would not bother me. Those of you getting bothered by that, do you actually have teens?

I have 3 teen boys and they would never talk to me that way. And I am a pretty laid back mom.

That said, my boys all went through a time in middle/freshman year where they closed off some but came back around later in HS. Two of them follow me around like puppy dogs at times just talking about whatever.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Maybe it's just me, but leave me alone and go away would not bother me. Those of you getting bothered by that, do you actually have teens?

NP. I have teens and college students and they don’t talk to us this way. To answer, OP’s question, my son talked to me throughout the teen years and still does now that he is in college but obviously not as frequently since he is away.