Could you please share your experience if you lived far from your school?

[Anonymous]

I have a seven year old in public and considering switching her to private. All the private schools we are interested in would take 30-60 minutes. Our neighbor sent her daughter to NCS and she said her child did not have the best high school social experience because they lived far away. Her friends at the local public seemed to be closer and happier. Covid may have played a role for her daughter.

I have heard schools are split between the kids who live locally and the kids who commute a longer distance.

My daughter is smart and social. We currently have many impromptu play dates after school. We live in an area without a lot of kids so she doesn’t have neighborhood friends she can just play with. I still have to coordinate.

[Anonymous]

If your neighbor's child started HS in 2019 or 2020, I think that's more Covid than distance. Our school has kids from all over the DC area and that's without the huge bus network some other schools provide.

I think ES specifically can be hard if all the neighbors are at one nearby school and your child isn't. But it doesn't sound like that's true for you anyway. I would say, more for your own sanity, to focus on schools with good bus/transportation options, so you're not spending 1-2 hours in the car each day.

[Anonymous]

When talking about NCS vs public - I'm sure there's a big difference during COVID. Just saying. We had a vastly different experience at Sidwell during COVID from our friends in very strong "W" schools. (although my kid was perfectly happy - and we are only 30 min from school).

I think in general, you have to determine whether your kid is ok with long commutes and whether they can do work in the car. Families we know that were far handled this differently - some kids used car time as downttime and appreciated it. Others used it as a time to get work done - and appreciated it. I'm sure it's not much loved for earlier wake up times....by anyone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If your neighbor's child started HS in 2019 or 2020, I think that's more Covid than distance. Our school has kids from all over the DC area and that's without the huge bus network some other schools provide.

I think ES specifically can be hard if all the neighbors are at one nearby school and your child isn't. But it doesn't sound like that's true for you anyway. I would say, more for your own sanity, to focus on schools with good bus/transportation options, so you're not spending 1-2 hours in the car each day.

I’m more concerned about the social aspect of living far away than the actual commute. At our local public, I can pick up my child and her friend from the school carpool. It is easy for parents to pick up from my house a few hours later since we all live close together. I would assume this would be much more difficult logistically if we live far from other families. There would not be carpooling or after school play dates.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If your neighbor's child started HS in 2019 or 2020, I think that's more Covid than distance. Our school has kids from all over the DC area and that's without the huge bus network some other schools provide.

I think ES specifically can be hard if all the neighbors are at one nearby school and your child isn't. But it doesn't sound like that's true for you anyway. I would say, more for your own sanity, to focus on schools with good bus/transportation options, so you're not spending 1-2 hours in the car each day.

I’m more concerned about the social aspect of living far away than the actual commute. At our local public, I can pick up my child and her friend from the school carpool. It is easy for parents to pick up from my house a few hours later since we all live close together. I would assume this would be much more difficult logistically if we live far from other families. There would not be carpooling or after school play dates.

Yes, this is a significant trade off when living far away. But if your child is in a club sport or has another significant activity outside of school it will not matter as much because their afternoons and weekends are pretty much taken up by that and time with friends is much harder to fit in anyway.

[Anonymous]

I lived outside the Beltway and attended a NWDC big 3, with a 60+ minutes commute one way, and hated it. I got (and get) carsick easily, so I couldn’t use those two (or more) hours to do homework. I generally slept. I didn’t do any sport teams so at least my parents were saved that commuting craziness, but all my friends were a 30-90 minute drive for anything social.

When my kid was little, we had a 30-40 minute commute to day care and early elementary (which at least was near my office at the time we started). We left that school after 3rd and I would not go back to even that commute. We had 7-10 minutes through middle school and now about 20 minutes in HS and it’s great. I can easily adjust pick up if my kid texts and says they want to stay later because they are working in the art room or decides to stay for a friend’s game or meet, it’s easy to get to social activities, easy for us parents to go to shows or parent events, and even at rush hour it’s still less than 30 minutes.

Barring situations like a special needs kid who needs a very specific school that’s far away, I would not go over 30 minutes for a commute and would prefer to keep it 20 or less.

[Anonymous]

My kid did a long commute of an hour for high school. In retrospect would not do again unless school was a better fit for him. It’s just too much time every day.

[Anonymous]

Why would you do this? 30-60 minutes each way is such a drain on both a child and their family. We are 13 minutes away from school and even that stinks sometimes. I would never do more than a 20 minute drive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why would you do this? 30-60 minutes each way is such a drain on both a child and their family. We are 13 minutes away from school and even that stinks sometimes. I would never do more than a 20 minute drive.

I agree. We’re considering a school that we feel is amazing, but it’s 15-20m away and that’s feeling like a big negative.

[Anonymous]

My kid has a long commute in high school but he takes the metro. I wish school was closer though because it is a pain to go to parent events

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why would you do this? 30-60 minutes each way is such a drain on both a child and their family. We are 13 minutes away from school and even that stinks sometimes. I would never do more than a 20 minute drive.

I agree. We’re considering a school that we feel is amazing, but it’s 15-20m away and that’s feeling like a big negative.

I am the PP. Our child does take a bus that picks up very close to our house, so that saves us on most days. Look at the bus schedule! Most of the top privates have a pretty robust system.

[Anonymous]

I attended a school that was 45 mins away by car, ~90 mins by bus and train. On a good day it was very challenging to participate in activities, make friends, be active at the school, etc. Attending weekend activities was virtually impossible until I got my license in my senior year. Proximity isn't everything, but it's a very tangible/material consideration.

[Anonymous]

I would consider this for high school but no way for ES and MS.

[Anonymous]

Its going to be a lot different. In my experience, living 60 minutes away means you will have almost zero playdates during the week. That's too far, parents work, and unless your kid makes a friend close to where you live, it's not happening, especially at the elementary school level.

I often post here because I have one in public and one in private and the major negative of private is the kids don't live near you, and that is more true the further you live from the school.

It got a lot better in high school now that the kids can drive and take public transportation but it was almost non-existent in the early years - though sometimes weekends could make up for it.

Its a trade off and we did it for religious and other reasons, but it's not easy.

[Anonymous]

2 kids had commutes of about an hour, each way all in (drive to Metro and time to get from Metro to school and vice versa). They both loved their school. Would do it again in a heartbeat.