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Bullying at NCS/STS
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Anonymous
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I know of the whole "mean girls" thing at NCS. But is there actual bullying taking place among NCS fourth graders? I have heard that stealing from others and maliciously destroying property of another is not uncommon. Is this true? Is there a specific type of girl that is usually the target?
I expect a fair amount of horseplay across the way at STA. But how much encroaches into actual bullying? Similar question, is there a specific type of boy that gets targeted? I am focused on the elementary school years as my children are young, but I would be happy to hear also from those with older kids at STA/NCS. |
Anonymous
| Can you elaborate on the "mean girls thing" at NCS? TIA |
Anonymous
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I know of one fourth grade NCS girl who really "uses" people, but I'm 99% sure there is no chronic bullying-like behavior among the girls at the fourth grade level.
Exclusive behavior often grows in fifth grade and can be quite a problem by sixth grade. There are definitely girls that get shunned/ignored/snubbed on a consistent basis. NCS is quite good at community building and keeping their finger on the pulse of the girls' social situation in fourth grade, and they're not too bad at it through fifth and sixth grade. They do try to a certain extent. At STA there aren't a lot of chronic victims of bullying, but there are some. There are wthout a doubt some bullies at STA, or maybe you could best refer to them as kids who get a kick out of being cruel or making themselves look good by denigrating others. The actual chronic bullying tends to be more at the social/exclusion/verbal level than the physical, but physical events definitely can happen. There is a lot of rough housing, sometimes too much, but I don't consider that bullying. STA isn't as good at NCS at being aware of the boys' social nuances. Some teachers there talk a lot about integrity, but there's not much intervention with social issues. There is, though, a lot of intervention if there's any kind of disrespect toward faculty. Many parents also seem hesitent to forcefully address the issue with the administration, and there is no small amount that won't bring it up period. Here's a somewhat recent example of how STA does intervene with big social problems. The B Form (at fifth grade) has an issue with a number of its boys becoming competitive jerks in both structured and unstructured sporting activities. This issue has been present for their entire time at STA and far predates that time as well. As that may be, the story: The boys were recently playing a game during sports. I forget what, but I think it may have been basketball. They were getting way too mean and competitive, so the teacher/coach stopped the game and had them play dodgeball instead. Here's a paraphased/best recalled snippet of some of the boys' conversation following the event: Friend 1 (after talking about the game): It was ballin', I hit <some kid> right in the head! Friend 2: Yeah, but it didn't count since it was a head shot. Friend 1: I know, but did you see how far the ball bounced off his head? |
Anonymous
| I find it absolutely amazing that these elite schools get away with providing a shoddy environment for their students -- and yes clients. Does the board of trustees know what is being allowed to go on? The head of school sets the tone -- faculty follows. It seems that the heads of STA and NSC are being negligent and are riding off the reputation of the schools. Managers rather than leaders by a long shot. |
Anonymous
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The head of school at STA, Vance Wilson, is a pretty talented educator. He's written a book on curriculum. Interestingly, the vast majority of faculty at STA don't apply the concepts and principles discussed in his book...
The problem with STA isn't so much the head as it is other entrenched people and, actually, the governing board itself! If Vance had his way, he'd implement far more sweeping change than he has (and he has implemented some incremental change for the good) but he doesn't want to get himself fired. Anyone remember the downright nasty and vitriolic events that occurred surrounding the last clash between an STA head and the board? (Not at all pretty.) For anyone interested in institutional history, refer to this article: http://64.233.167.104/search?q=cache:H_AvKadzIlgJ:www.freerepublic.com/forum/a399f6d2806db.htm+%22St+Albans%22+headmaster+mullin+%22paradise+lost%22&hl=en&ct=clnk&cd=1&gl=us It's not just STA and/or NCS, by the way. Many DC schools do a certain amount of riding on their coattails. It's so easy to do. |
Anonymous
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How do you get from:
to ???? I don't know much about STA, but my experience at NCS is that the Lower School faculty give a lot of thought to community building. The school is very welcoming. There are rules on how inclusive one has to be in social situations at school, and many/most girls seem to internalize them. They are not permitted, for example, to tell a girl she may not sit at their lunch table - and most of the time, lunch seats are assigned, not freely chosen, because girls at that age can exclude. When problems arise the faculty does intervene. These interventions are not usually public for obvious reasons so someone non involved, and sometimes the girl involved, might not realize the actions going on behind the scenes. Sometimes the interventions are positive and general - there are weeks devoted to reconnecting with old friends, and others when girls are encouraged to make a new friend, and mostly these are both given and taken sincerely. But at the end of the day we are dealing with adolescents, and they do sometimes engage in beastly behavior. Given the nature of the issue, unless someone does a survey study across a large number of DC schools all the information we have on the incidence of anti-social behavior is going to be anecdotal, and not very accurate. So let me add my anecdote. A while ago we were considering relocating to another city and were considering placing DD in an academically very well regarded, but very down to earth mixed k-8 school. The administrators appreared to be well informed and caring, and they found a charming girl to host DD for the day. At the end of the day, DD came back totally shaken, pleading not to be placed in the school. Apparently some of the other girls had been extremely mean to the girl hosting DD, not allowing her to sit at a particular table at lunch, as a group mocking her openly etc. What DD had seen was so far outside what she observed happening at NCS, that she was shocked. My takeaway on this incident is that antisocial behavior happens in many good schools, and that NCS is well within the bounds of normal. |
Anonymous
| The situation at St. Albans sounds a lot worse than the situation at NCS..... |
Anonymous
| I cannot speak to STA, as we have not had a child there. I can speak to NCS' lower school. I too have heard the stories about "mean girls." Quite honestly, our experience in the lower school could not be further from that characterization. There are high expectations and an excessive amount of homework, but the teachers are warm, the setting is comfortable, and the girls are actually quite supportive of each other. Is it possible that there is a girl here or there that is an alpha girl. No doubt. But the same holds true for any other school in any other city across the country. There is not a high concentration of alpha girls there or any culture of bullying. To the contrary, we really have not been able to ask for a more supportive environment for our daughter. |
Anonymous
Lucky you. $500. That's the value of the items (book packs, books, clothing, etc.) belonging to my DD that has been stolen or damaged by a cabal of NCS Mean Girls this school year. I feel like a tourist in Florence. There are many pickpockets out there, but you still go because the occasional theft is outweighed by the beauty of the place. |
Anonymous
| bump |
Anonymous
I'd rather receive the physical scars at STA than the emotional ones at NCS. |
Anonymous
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The person making all the STA bullying comments is the very same teacher commented upon in the Beauvoir thread. It makes me very angry that this person -- who has no children and therefore certainly none at STA or NCS -- posted and swayed people's opinions. He may have even made some of this stuff up for all we know. Hopefully anyone interested in ANY school will go and check it out for themselves, and ask questions and figure out what is best for their child from their own feelings, and not from some non parent disgruntled person (I will refrain from calling him much much worse).
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Anonymous
This just makes me sick. Really sick. I am so sorry that your daughter had to go through that. How has the school responded? Is she going back next year? |
Anonymous
| I heard that the writer of the book that the movie "Mean Girls" was based off of based her book off of the girls she observed at NCS. |
Anonymous
| What is NCS/STS? and where is it? |