What’s the worst thing your in laws have done to you?

[Anonymous]

My fil sends poorly worded yet scathing and pitiful letters and texts about perceived slights. He ends them with things like "I hope you are at peace with my decision to never contact me again and I will not be at peace as the foolish old man you see me. Aunt Jean is serving Thanksgiving dinner at 4, see you then. God bless."

(Those aren't typos. That's how he writes).

Then we see him on Thanksgiving and he either denies telling me to never contact him, tells me I misunderstood, or we all just pretend it never happened.

[Anonymous]

I love my inlaws and we have a great relationship, though we have our moments.

When DH proposed to me, I called my future MIL the next day. This was before widespread caller ID and when she answered she didn’t realize it was me. I said something like, “Hi! Isn’t this so exciting?!?” And she responded, “It’s a little fast don’t you think,?!?” When I responded with, “You don’t know who this is, do you?” she stumbled and seemed mortified. I told her we’d never speak of it again and we never have. Still I think of it from time to time, and it does bother me that she thought our engagement happened too soon (we dated well over a year before engagement and another year of engagement before marriage).

Two kids later and it’s water under the bridge.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My fil sends poorly worded yet scathing and pitiful letters and texts about perceived slights. He ends them with things like "I hope you are at peace with my decision to never contact me again and I will not be at peace as the foolish old man you see me. Aunt Jean is serving Thanksgiving dinner at 4, see you then. God bless."

(Those aren't typos. That's how he writes).

Then we see him on Thanksgiving and he either denies telling me to never contact him, tells me I misunderstood, or we all just pretend it never happened.

He's verbally abusive and a gaslighter. Those typically go together.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My fil sends poorly worded yet scathing and pitiful letters and texts about perceived slights. He ends them with things like "I hope you are at peace with my decision to never contact me again and I will not be at peace as the foolish old man you see me. Aunt Jean is serving Thanksgiving dinner at 4, see you then. God bless."

(Those aren't typos. That's how he writes).

Then we see him on Thanksgiving and he either denies telling me to never contact him, tells me I misunderstood, or we all just pretend it never happened.

He's verbally abusive and a gaslighter. Those typically go together.

Pp here. The gas lighting. If my husband confronts him about the text asking us to never contact him again, he responded "I didn't send a rude text! I said God bless and invited you to Aunt Jean's. I can't do anything right!"

[Anonymous]

DH had just graduated from college but didn’t have a job lined up and our wedding plans had been set for two years at that point. At the church during our wedding rehearsal, my MIL said to postpone the wedding until he got a job. I asked her if I should then divorce him when he lost it? Not a good start for that relationship but, DH and I are still very much together and very happy.

[Anonymous]

MIL accused me of ruining my own wedding (?!) because I politely declined the neon yard signs and LIVE GOLDFISH she wanted to use to decorate for our ceremony. MIL and FIL also got stoned after said ceremony and made DH and me 30+ minutes late to our own reception because we had to track them down and follow their (erratically driven) car to the restaurant.

Most recently, MIL asked to pick up a household item from our house while she was in town. Allegedly she drove to our house (we have a video doorbell that didn't pick up any motion...), didn't call or text, then told DH that I had refused to answer the door. This is typical behavior.

[Anonymous]

Where to begin...

- called me the wrong name for the first year of my relationship with their son. This set the tone that not only are they not interested in me at all, but they have little interest in getting to know their sons as adults. They are self centered and afraid of change.
- gossips about everyone and everything that is private, including private family business. They have low self esteem, are judgemental and very critical of others, including their own sons and their wives. They refuse to say my SIL’s name (she is married into the family) and they refuse o take accountability for their rudeness and unkind actions.

- worst thing they ever did was make years of poor financial decisions and then blow up and blame it all on their sons. We are currently navigating through conflict, bitterness, resentment, hurt and anger as they shun their only children.
It’s a tough time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When my DH told them he was going to propose, my MILs reaction was “don’t you think that’s a little soon?”

We all laugh about it now. That’s the only time my in-laws have done or said anything even remotely questionable. My MIL is kind and respectful of boundaries to a fault, and I’m pretty sure she likes me now.

When my boyfriend of 5 years called my parents (who lived across the country so no face to face was possible) to ask for their permission to propose their response was "Well we really wanted her to live on her own for a while, but I guess it is ok." We have now been married for 18 years and have had more issues over the years with how my parents react to news. Things like when we told them I was pregnant with our second child they said "are you sure you want to do that?" They love our children but are just horrible with reactions. By the time we were expecting our 4th child we told them in writing and suggested they think about their reaction before they called us.

When my DH told MIL that he was going to propose she offered him to propose with the fake ring. She said I won’t know any better anyways.

Who are these shitty spouses that are telling their partner all these terrible comments?? Some things are best not repeated.

For some things, I think it's right that the partner knows. I dated my wife and my mother would have all sorts of issues. She is a great person and happens to be hispanic (i.e. not white). Well, my mom has struggled with that since day 1 and for some time, refused to meet my wife (who was then my GF). I had to tell my wife at the time why b/c she needed to know what she was getting into rather than constantly wondering why her MIL doesn't talk to her. Still to this day, my mother is courteous but barely acknowledges/talks to my wife,

[Anonymous]

My friends will recognize me with this post...

We found out my ILs were spreading a rumor around the family that I was doing meth and that they found out because I was posting about it on Facebook. DH flipped out on them and told them to produce this supposed FB post as evidence if any of it was true. They then insisted I removed it to cover my tracks...but cautioned DH that it was "red flag" and he should watch out for me.

I literally know nothing about meth other than what I've seen in Breaking Bad. We can't even remotely begin to imagine how they came up with this one.

[Anonymous]

She was in a coma for 2 weeks. Just when we were about to make the call, she recovered. So I’d say the worst thing my MIL did is to (unintentionally) scare the crap out of us. She is the mother of 5 and came out of her coma on Mother’s Day. It is truly a miracle we still have her, we are blessed. I’ve loved my MIL since I met her in 2002.

My FIL (divorced from MIL) we see very little but he sends us a little cash at Christmas.

Now if the question were about your own parents, I’d definitely have some stories on my mom. My dad is still married to her and I’d have 0 stories on him. As I get older I try to be as much like my dad as possible (I’m female).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Nothing, they are wonderful. I would even say my MIL is a saint. I'm as close with her as I am my mom. It's so sad to hear of all these people on here having problems with their in laws.

My SIL mom is wonderful as well. I feel blessed and I can see she and I becoming very close.

[Anonymous]

Argh! Stop. Just stop. I'm not an in-law. I'm family. I would give my life for you and yours. I'm sometimes offensive or insensitive. I apologize. I ask your forgiveness. I don't think it's ever OK to cut off family, not unless you are in clear and immediate danger of damage to your life or health. (being pissed off, irritated, or angry doesn't meet this standard.)
Family is a blessing that nothing else can replace. Nothing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Argh! Stop. Just stop. I'm not an in-law. I'm family. I would give my life for you and yours. I'm sometimes offensive or insensitive. I apologize. I ask your forgiveness. I don't think it's ever OK to cut off family, not unless you are in clear and immediate danger of damage to your life or health. (being pissed off, irritated, or angry doesn't meet this standard.)
Family is a blessing that nothing else can replace. Nothing.

Simply being related to people who mistreat you does not justify anything. Adults have the right to decide who to be in contact with. "I would give my life" also doesn't justify anything. You would not. You use it as a get out of jail free card. How about this: don't give your life: give respect, control yourself to not be offensive. Presumably it's easier than giving your life. Try.

[Anonymous]

I love my nutty MIL. She made my wedding dress (and it was beautiful), and helps us a lot with our toddler. She's 70 and is always busy with something. My only peeve is that she has no censor. Whenever she sees me, she always tells me that I look tired. She says it so much that it's become a family joke. I work full time, have a toddler, and am trying to finish my PhD. I obviously look very tired. ha!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My best friend died by suicide and they refused to acknowledge the death or my grief. No relationship with them.

Interesting. My sister committed suicide within the second year of my marriage. My ILs didn't reach out or attend the funeral. I later came across text messages from my MIL to my DH (now ex) telling him that she was concerned about us having kids since my sister's suicide meant mental illness ran in my family. Still, I wouldn't consider this the worst thing they'd done to me. Really, their poor treatment of me was a blessing as it made it much easier to leave a bad marriage.