ANTI-CHILDREN wedding? can't even bring children to the resort even if you have your own babysitter?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just as many folks are finding the bridal couple's request for no kids at the resort to be rude, I find the suggestion to outright ignore their stated request to be rather offensive.

The couple has stated their wishes. So be it. I imagine they are aware of the possible repercussions (e.g. declined invitations).

If you disagree with their request, or otherwise cannot make appropriate accomidations, just don't go. And like some others have said, you really need not provide an explanation. But to ignore a known aspect of their event.....that is out of line. [Please, no comments back about the couple being out of line for making this decree.....it is their event.....invited guests who take issue should just decline politely.]

THANK YOU! I feel like parents get so righteous that everywhere they go, their kids should go. But I believe that there are some adult only situations! Children are not miniature adults, nor should they be expected to behave that way. A child's behavior is unpredictable and temper tantrums can occur at anytime. A child is cognitively not developmentally able to sit still for 30 minutes (trust me I know this from a medical, developmental standpoint). Would you really want one of your groom's old fraternity buddies kids to start screaming in the middle of your vows? Everyone talks about how cute kids are, and I TOTALLY agree. However, kids also cry, scream, throw up, and poop their pants. A wedding is no place for children. Chuckie cheese and birthday parties are more appropriate.

It is totally disrespectful to just ignore what the bride and groom wants. I think that is very very rude. Whether or not you agree with their wishes, you should respect them. For example, tf someone came to your house and you asked them to take off their shoes, you would expect them to take off their shoes whether or not they wore shoes in their house. This situation is just about different beliefs, and as their guests you should respect their beliefs even though you obviously disagree.

Another poster wrote "what happened to being a good host?" and I have to ask "what happened to being a good guest?" If someone invites you to an event, it is NEVER acceptable to bring whomever you want. If you do not agree with the fact that they did not invite someone you want to bring THEN DON'T GO.

[Anonymous]

PP, you are missing the point. I have not posted on this previously but if I wanted to go to the wedding, I would absolutely go and bring my kids, plus babysitter. Do these people think that they own the entire resort for the weekend? They don't want kids at wedding activities... ok, fine. I would leave the kids with the sitter in the room or at the pool. No one would ever have to even know that they are there.

What is rude is asking friends/ relatives to shell out personal dollars for what is someone else's dream wedding/ vacation, and then try to control every aspect of it.

[Anonymous]

Do these people think that they own the entire resort for the weekend?

Do you think you and your kids trump the wishes of everyone else? See, two can play at the "who has more rights" game. The fact is, it is their wedding. Don't see why people who don't like that request just simply decline the invitation. OR leave the kids with relatives/close friends for 2 nights.

I get that it is an inconvenience. And, am dealing with an "adults only" request this very weekend. So, I'm not trying to be mean or whatever (and I'm not the multiple posting person that folks think are posting here). I just don't see why this is that big of a deal to abide by their wishes (whether I agree with them or not).

[Anonymous]

It really is ok to decline an invitation. Send a nice note with your regrets and be done.

It's only a wedding.

[Anonymous]

Is it perhaps a resort that doesn't allow children? I can understand wanting to make the wedding events adults-only, but unless the resort has a policy on not allowing children (and there are some out there that do this), it seems a little extreme to say don't even bring your kids to the hotel. You won't be at wedding events 24 hours a day, so why not enjoy some time with your kids in between things?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It really is ok to decline an invitation. Send a nice note with your regrets and be done.

It's only a wedding.

I agree with this. Let it go.

[Anonymous]

My parents went to several events like this.
it's THEIR CHANCE to be a couple again.
Time to date, time to drink, time to enjoy themselves and their friends.

I would have no problem leaving my children behind once in a while.

I still remember how happy they were when they got back from such events.

[Anonymous]

I don't mind when people have "no-kid" weddings or any other event (yes, I have a kid). I find my kid to be cute. I find a room full of kids to be torture.

I find it very strange that they think they can say no kids at the resort, unless they are paying for your room and transportation. I thought the whole "appeal" of a destination wedding was to trick your guests into thinking that they aren't just spending money to go to your wedding, they are getting a vacation. You should get to bring your kids on vacation if you want (if you are willing to provide a babysitter for the non-kid events). My guess is that the couple is afraid of people bringing their kids and then just saying "oh what the heck, let's just bring them to the wedding" Maybe this is a valid concern, but then don't have a destination wedding and expect couples with kids to come.

For those that think it is weird to not want to leave your kids behind, some of us don't have great support systems and don't have people we trust to watch our children for several days. And, even if i did, I wouldn't want to waste it on a weekend getaway to go to a wedding of people I don't like.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
For those that think it is weird to not want to leave your kids behind, some of us don't have great support systems and don't have people we trust to watch our children for several days. And, even if i did, I wouldn't want to waste it on a weekend getaway to go to a wedding of people I don't like.

Exactly. Skip the wedding, or send your husband.

[Anonymous]

I am ALL about kid-free weddings. But a kid-free TRIP? They are overstepping their bounds in dictating that.

[Anonymous]

This is insane! This thread was posted LAST FEBRUARY!! Who is that crazy that they would go and look up and old post and restart a controversial issue?!! Seriously! The wedding has come and gone friends. I wish I had as much time in my day as you do to go back and look up old posts to restart trouble again. Wow!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is it perhaps a resort that doesn't allow children? I can understand wanting to make the wedding events adults-only, but unless the resort has a policy on not allowing children (and there are some out there that do this), it seems a little extreme to say don't even bring your kids to the hotel. You won't be at wedding events 24 hours a day, so why not enjoy some time with your kids in between things?

On the flip side, why can't you enjoy some alone time with your spouse/significant other? You're with your kids constantly. How often are you alone with your spouse in a relaxed atmosphere?

It's good to cut the cord.

[Anonymous]

If you were truly going to make a vacation out of this, then these people are going beyond dictating their wedding (which they have a right to do I guess) they are dictating your LIFE.

I would do this:

Dear X,

While we will not be bring our children to any events related to the wedding, we have family nearby and were planning on making a vacation out of this weekend, and having our children visit the family with us. So, this would be quite a bind if we could not bring children to the resort at all. We are trying to make other arrangements and I will let you know what we find out. If we are not able to attend, I will let you within the time frame of your RSVP.

or something like that. To me they are going beyond the "boundaries" of their wedding and actually trying to control things outside that purview. Sound like weird control freaks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just as many folks are finding the bridal couple's request for no kids at the resort to be rude, I find the suggestion to outright ignore their stated request to be rather offensive.

The couple has stated their wishes. So be it. I imagine they are aware of the possible repercussions (e.g. declined invitations).

If you disagree with their request, or otherwise cannot make appropriate accomidations, just don't go. And like some others have said, you really need not provide an explanation. But to ignore a known aspect of their event.....that is out of line. [Please, no comments back about the couple being out of line for making this decree.....it is their event.....invited guests who take issue should just decline politely.]

THANK YOU! I feel like parents get so righteous that everywhere they go, their kids should go. But I believe that there are some adult only situations! Children are not miniature adults, nor should they be expected to behave that way. A child's behavior is unpredictable and temper tantrums can occur at anytime. A child is cognitively not developmentally able to sit still for 30 minutes (trust me I know this from a medical, developmental standpoint). Would you really want one of your groom's old fraternity buddies kids to start screaming in the middle of your vows? Everyone talks about how cute kids are, and I TOTALLY agree. However, kids also cry, scream, throw up, and poop their pants. A wedding is no place for children. Chuckie cheese and birthday parties are more appropriate.

It is totally disrespectful to just ignore what the bride and groom wants. I think that is very very rude. Whether or not you agree with their wishes, you should respect them. For example, tf someone came to your house and you asked them to take off their shoes, you would expect them to take off their shoes whether or not they wore shoes in their house. This situation is just about different beliefs, and as their guests you should respect their beliefs even though you obviously disagree.

Another poster wrote "what happened to being a good host?" and I have to ask "what happened to being a good guest?" If someone invites you to an event, it is NEVER acceptable to bring whomever you want. If you do not agree with the fact that they did not invite someone you want to bring THEN DON'T GO.

Poster, why did you start this thread up again???? I was the op 14 months ago and the wedding has come and gone? Just curious as to why you would go and look up old threads and start controversy? Weird and kind of scary!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just as many folks are finding the bridal couple's request for no kids at the resort to be rude, I find the suggestion to outright ignore their stated request to be rather offensive.

The couple has stated their wishes. So be it. I imagine they are aware of the possible repercussions (e.g. declined invitations).

If you disagree with their request, or otherwise cannot make appropriate accomidations, just don't go. And like some others have said, you really need not provide an explanation. But to ignore a known aspect of their event.....that is out of line. [Please, no comments back about the couple being out of line for making this decree.....it is their event.....invited guests who take issue should just decline politely.]

THANK YOU! I feel like parents get so righteous that everywhere they go, their kids should go. But I believe that there are some adult only situations! Children are not miniature adults, nor should they be expected to behave that way. A child's behavior is unpredictable and temper tantrums can occur at anytime. A child is cognitively not developmentally able to sit still for 30 minutes (trust me I know this from a medical, developmental standpoint). Would you really want one of your groom's old fraternity buddies kids to start screaming in the middle of your vows? Everyone talks about how cute kids are, and I TOTALLY agree. However, kids also cry, scream, throw up, and poop their pants. A wedding is no place for children. Chuckie cheese and birthday parties are more appropriate.

It is totally disrespectful to just ignore what the bride and groom wants. I think that is very very rude. Whether or not you agree with their wishes, you should respect them. For example, tf someone came to your house and you asked them to take off their shoes, you would expect them to take off their shoes whether or not they wore shoes in their house. This situation is just about different beliefs, and as their guests you should respect their beliefs even though you obviously disagree.

Another poster wrote "what happened to being a good host?" and I have to ask "what happened to being a good guest?" If someone invites you to an event, it is NEVER acceptable to bring whomever you want. If you do not agree with the fact that they did not invite someone you want to bring THEN DON'T GO.

Poster, why did you start this thread up again???? I was the op 14 months ago and the wedding has come and gone? Just curious as to why you would go and look up old threads and start controversy? Weird and kind of scary!

Hey OP...I didn't start the thread back up but, since you have posted, did you decide to take the kids or not go at all?