Friend Group Dinners At Restaurants You'd Never Go

[Anonymous]

All this thread prove was that the average education level of DCUM posters is somehwere around 9th grade.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Text back to remind all that you are allergic and then list your top three choices. Then see what the group decides. Then go from there.

+1
It is amazing that OP had to crowdsource this.

[Anonymous]

I would decline to attend and wish everyone a wonderful evening.

[Anonymous]

All the bickering about allergies is whaddabloutism or you just have missed the main point:
OP expected the others to remember her allergy and was devastated a seafood restaurant wan ONE of the suggestionS.
OP sulked or cried her little eyes out instead of promptly using her words to say I have allergies, let's NOT do seafood place.
OP then crowdsources sympathy.
If she used words they would have picked somewhere else.
OP DID NOT SAY SEAFOOD PLACE WAS EVEN CHOSEN BEFORE SHE FLIPPED OUT

[Anonymous]

There are options you could eat (even seafood but you choose not to) so go and don't sweat it. Next time weigh in and say, since seafood isn't my favorite, let's try a different cuisine. Don't be a Debbie Downer OP. It's a meal, not the last supper.

[Anonymous]

Vegetarians get invited to restaurants all the time that have little or no options. Did you look at the menu? Isn't there a steak or pasta you can order? You can also call the kitchen to explain to them.

[Anonymous]

I'm pp and just remembered my mom is allergic to shellfish, and has never vetoed a fish place.

[Anonymous]

For me, it’s about the socialization, not the food. I almost always dislike the food at these group dinners. But they’re a really easy way for friends to get together so I go and enjoy the company.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:All this thread prove was that the average education level of DCUM posters is somehwere around 9th grade.

7th grade. This is dumb middle school drama.

Every seafood restaurant will have non-shellfish options. It's a common allergy and restaurants make sure to accommodate that. That's not the problem at all. But if you don't like your friends, get new friends. Friendship is a voluntary endeavor. Seven different people are going to have seven different preferences. Normal adults are perfectly fine making compromises and adapting when it comes to grabbing a meal with friends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For me, it’s about the socialization, not the food. I almost always dislike the food at these group dinners. But they’re a really easy way for friends to get together so I go and enjoy the company.

I assume you mean socializing. Socialization is the learning of social norms and behaviors, like what you do with your new puppy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For me, it’s about the socialization, not the food. I almost always dislike the food at these group dinners. But they’re a really easy way for friends to get together so I go and enjoy the company.

I assume you mean socializing. Socialization is the learning of social norms and behaviors, like what you do with your new puppy.

Socializing, then . . but you knew that. Perhaps you need some socialization to learn not to be a grammar prig.

[Anonymous]

I think it’s rude to suggest a seafood place when someone has a seafood allergy.

It is similarly rude to suggest a steakhouse when someone is a vegetarian.

All the dairy free/gluten free/other allergies or preferences are too complicated to accommodate, plus most restaurants are equipped to offer an alternative.

Honestly, I’ve gotten to the point where I sometimes just order water at such gatherings. That way I’m not tempted to over-indulge and there’s no risk of getting sucked into covering portions of the bill racked up by those who drink too much and order pricey menu items.

Meeting just for drinks or dessert makes things easier. Plus it can be done a bit later in the evening. Brunch is also a safe bet.

Anyway, I think the op’s friends are either forgetful or thoughtless. I’d find a nice way to remind them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If a friend in a group of friends suggests a meet up at a restaurant they know you don't like, do you just not go?

For instance, Sarah texts our group of 7 women suggesting a friend dinner. Everyone agrees on 7pm on December 5th. Then a bunch of restaurants get suggested, including a seafood restaurant. You are allergic to shellfish and don't care for fish.

Do you just decline the get together or do you eat a huge lunch and then just get drinks or a small salad?

Are you right to be put off by this when everyone knows your allergy?

I'm trying real hard to not be offended here.

I am allergic to crustaceans and had a severe reaction
smelling airborne proteins from cooking shellfish. Allergies should be taken into consideration when selecting the restaurant.

Oh, so you never go to restaurants that serve shrimp? Right.

Depends.

[Anonymous]

It is inherently insensitive for a friend group to select a seafood restaurant to dine at if they know that one friend has seafood allergies.

I would feel excluded in a big way about this…. 😠

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think it’s rude to suggest a seafood place when someone has a seafood allergy.

It is similarly rude to suggest a steakhouse when someone is a vegetarian.

All the dairy free/gluten free/other allergies or preferences are too complicated to accommodate, plus most restaurants are equipped to offer an alternative.

Honestly, I’ve gotten to the point where I sometimes just order water at such gatherings. That way I’m not tempted to over-indulge and there’s no risk of getting sucked into covering portions of the bill racked up by those who drink too much and order pricey menu items.

Meeting just for drinks or dessert makes things easier. Plus it can be done a bit later in the evening. Brunch is also a safe bet.

Anyway, I think the op’s friends are either forgetful or thoughtless. I’d find a nice way to remind them.

OP needed to speak up. That’s on her period. It’s super hard to get 7 ppl together and it’s a blessing it worked out. If she can’t see this then she can stay home.