37 year old son unemployed

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Does he really get a choice of what pays enough is he is living in your basement at 37. Cut the apron strings. I can see why his wife dumped him.

Because she was abusive and didn’t support his dreams?

Because she wanted to be married to an adult, not a 2 yo toddler

Looks like he wasted her fertility window. She should sue him and his mother for wasting her time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is OP. He has a masters degree from Georgetown and wanted to go to one of the Fed agencies. He was not able to get in and has been trying different things. Most recently he attempted self employment and became discouraged when his work dried up. He was also in an abusive marriage where his wife was upset with him for lot being ready to have children which also brought him down I think.

He feels very depressed and doesn’t know how to obtain gainful employment and thinks he is too old now.

That does not qualify as an "abusive marriage".

What type/subject area is his master's degree ?

FWIW Lots of well educated individuals work at low level jobs (think Starbucks/Walmart/Home Depot/Lowes/tutoring students) in order to get into the workforce and earn money. Everyone has to start somewhere.

This is outdated, wrong advice. The job market is awful (yea, even for low level
jobs). These places aren’t hiring people either advanced degrees from Georgetown (who they know won’t stay). All applications are done online and AI scans them for *recent* retail experience. None? You don’t even get an interview.

Not true. We are hiring in Georgetown without any experience. Walk in or send a resume. We need about 10 new workers and this is a small business.
My 18-year old got hired in VA right after interview and works 10-hours shifts at times.
My best friend goes back to her old customer service job as they can't find workers.

My stepson is looking for a job - would you mind telling who is hiring in Georgetown?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

As a 40 year old woman who went to Georgetown and works in risk consulting and just made partner with a one year old, your son is a total loser. Not even up for debate, he sucks and you failed. He didn't like it and burned out? Twice? Weak sauce. He's a child who probably can't network and doesn't get why his wife would want a kid and instead runs to mommy to complain and vent? And has now been unemployed 3 years? This is so completely pathetic I can barely believe it's real. "Hardest worker and a good boy" he's a friggin' Norman Bates capital L loser.

WOW. This is crazy hostile. Why take the time to type out such vitriol.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

As a 40 year old woman who went to Georgetown and works in risk consulting and just made partner with a one year old, your son is a total loser. Not even up for debate, he sucks and you failed. He didn't like it and burned out? Twice? Weak sauce. He's a child who probably can't network and doesn't get why his wife would want a kid and instead runs to mommy to complain and vent? And has now been unemployed 3 years? This is so completely pathetic I can barely believe it's real. "Hardest worker and a good boy" he's a friggin' Norman Bates capital L loser.

WOW. This is crazy hostile. Why take the time to type out such vitriol.

My guess is PP is raging because she married and had a child with someone with OP's son.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:T.

Someone with a MA from Georgetown doesn't need to be working in a nursing home kitchen.

OP he can find something better than that, but the job market is very rough and he is going to need to spend hours every day searching and applying and it is tedious. See what you can do to support him in that endeavor. He may want to look at writing jobs, with his MA he should have some ability in that area.

No, someone with a MA from Georgetown doesn't need to be working in a nursing home kitchen, rather, he needs to clean the toilets and scrub floors until he proves himself capable of the kitchen work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Tell him starting December 1 he needs to start paying $1,000 in rent to you each month. The idea he's too old to get a job is ridiculous! Go work at Costco or Trader Joe's. He just can't get what kind of job he WANTS. He needs to get over his ego. Time for tough love.

This advice is cracking me up. Do you have ANY idea how sought after retail jobs at Costco are? He’s never, ever getting hired there.

I don't know the answer to your question holistically, but my 20 year old nephew applied to work at Costco and was immediately contacted and hired. No prior retail experience. Took like 3 weeks from applying to getting hired.

He was willing to work over all the holidays which he said is something important to Costco. Also, I would imagine Costco looks more favorably on a 20 year old without college who looks like someone that will stick around vs. a 37 year old with a Masters who seems like he is just biding time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

As a 40 year old woman who went to Georgetown and works in risk consulting and just made partner with a one year old, your son is a total loser. Not even up for debate, he sucks and you failed. He didn't like it and burned out? Twice? Weak sauce. He's a child who probably can't network and doesn't get why his wife would want a kid and instead runs to mommy to complain and vent? And has now been unemployed 3 years? This is so completely pathetic I can barely believe it's real. "Hardest worker and a good boy" he's a friggin' Norman Bates capital L loser.

WOW. This is crazy hostile. Why take the time to type out such vitriol.

My guess is PP is raging because she married and had a child with someone with OP's son.

Not at all, OP is just pulling an ostrich and being an enabler and people like that sometimes need some real talk.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is OP. He has a masters degree from Georgetown and wanted to go to one of the Fed agencies. He was not able to get in and has been trying different things. Most recently he attempted self employment and became discouraged when his work dried up. He was also in an abusive marriage where his wife was upset with him for lot being ready to have children which also brought him down I think.

He feels very depressed and doesn’t know how to obtain gainful employment and thinks he is too old now.

He should contact Georgetown's career services for his grad degree. He should attend alumni events and gatherings for Georgetown to network and learn about employment.

He should look for any kind of work- Starbucks, Costco, etc and volunteer again to network, get out of the house, and potentially use those connections to find a FT role.

He should look at non-profits, who cares if they don't pay enough. If he lives at home for a year and saves he can save up enough to move out. It is easier to get a job if you have a job.

He could also look at roles at Georgetown University. He needs to apply for a variety of roles, he shouldn't be applying for Director roles if he was a manager.

When I changed careers because I lost my job I had to take a step down. You can't be "too good." It stinks, I get it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is OP. He has a masters degree from Georgetown and wanted to go to one of the Fed agencies. He was not able to get in and has been trying different things. Most recently he attempted self employment and became discouraged when his work dried up. He was also in an abusive marriage where his wife was upset with him for lot being ready to have children which also brought him down I think.

He feels very depressed and doesn’t know how to obtain gainful employment and thinks he is too old now.

We can see it already you are about to have already started in enabling him. 37 is not too old to get a damn job. Yes he very likely is depressed and I would make his residence at your home contingent on therapy and active a job search and job attainment like he can work seasonal at Target until he finds a full-time gig.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is OP. He has a masters degree from Georgetown and wanted to go to one of the Fed agencies. He was not able to get in and has been trying different things. Most recently he attempted self employment and became discouraged when his work dried up. He was also in an abusive marriage where his wife was upset with him for lot being ready to have children which also brought him down I think.

He feels very depressed and doesn’t know how to obtain gainful employment and thinks he is too old now.

You sound like you’re making excuses for him. Presuming work like is from ~22 to ~65, he’s 1/3 of the way through. Who does he think should support him.

I work with people who got injured on the job. I see people in their 50s and 60s retraining for new types of employment.

I also have a child with mental health issues who lives with me. I do not give him even ten cents of support - he needs to work if he wants anything besides a bedroom and the groceries I buy. And as a requirement for living in my house he needs to work and/or be in job training. Presently he’s doing both.

There are jobs. He might not like them. But they exist and if you all relate not creative enough to find them, I’m sure we can start a list for you. Like how about being a caretaker for the elderly. He could do in home or institutional work. Or working in a nursing home kitchen. Or stocking shelves at Target or a grocery store.

What I’ve found with my son is that success begets success. You have to start before you can move up. And no job is beneath you if you don’t have one.

Someone with a MA from Georgetown doesn't need to be working in a nursing home kitchen.

OP he can find something better than that, but the job market is very rough and he is going to need to spend hours every day searching and applying and it is tedious. See what you can do to support him in that endeavor. He may want to look at writing jobs, with his MA he should have some ability in that area.

I don’t care if he has a PhD in being Jesus he could run the cashier register at Royal Farms if it’s a damn job.

[Anonymous]

Jeeeesh. Vicious comments. I’m sure OP has encouraged her son to get a job and doesn’t want him to become homeless. He sounds very, very depressed - maybe get him an appt with a therapist. Or find a volunteer opportunity for him. It’s hard to dig yourself out of a deep hole. Maybe find a therapist for yourself. Your son will find his way eventually- but good to make him a bit uncomfortable to nudge him out of his comfort zone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Tell him starting December 1 he needs to start paying $1,000 in rent to you each month. The idea he's too old to get a job is ridiculous! Go work at Costco or Trader Joe's. He just can't get what kind of job he WANTS. He needs to get over his ego. Time for tough love.

This advice is cracking me up. Do you have ANY idea how sought after retail jobs at Costco are? He’s never, ever getting hired there.

I don't know the answer to your question holistically, but my 20 year old nephew applied to work at Costco and was immediately contacted and hired. No prior retail experience. Took like 3 weeks from applying to getting hired.

He was willing to work over all the holidays which he said is something important to Costco. Also, I would imagine Costco looks more favorably on a 20 year old without college who looks like someone that will stick around vs. a 37 year old with a Masters who seems like he is just biding time.

Sure, perhaps they get hired, but then they get about 12 to 24 hours per week. Definitely not a full time job.

[Anonymous]

He’s a loser and you are enabling him.

He is a grown man. He needs to go flip burgers or work entry level construction to earn a paycheck and pay rent. Kick him out of the house immediately.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is OP. He has a masters degree from Georgetown and wanted to go to one of the Fed agencies. He was not able to get in and has been trying different things. Most recently he attempted self employment and became discouraged when his work dried up. He was also in an abusive marriage where his wife was upset with him for lot being ready to have children which also brought him down I think.

He feels very depressed and doesn’t know how to obtain gainful employment and thinks he is too old now.

That does not qualify as an "abusive marriage".

What type/subject area is his master's degree ?

FWIW Lots of well educated individuals work at low level jobs (think Starbucks/Walmart/Home Depot/Lowes/tutoring students) in order to get into the workforce and earn money. Everyone has to start somewhere.

This is outdated, wrong advice. The job market is awful (yea, even for low level
jobs). These places aren’t hiring people either advanced degrees from Georgetown (who they know won’t stay). All applications are done online and AI scans them for *recent* retail experience. None? You don’t even get an interview.

BS---I know people who are doing this. Another option is FedEx/UPS delivery persons. One of my 25yo's friends works PT for a startup and does that another 20-25 hours/week to make enough $$. Jobs are out there, you just have to show up determined to do the job.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He’s a loser and you are enabling him.

He is a grown man. He needs to go flip burgers or work entry level construction to earn a paycheck and pay rent. Kick him out of the house immediately.

+1000