I feel sorry for the tweens without phones

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This thread reminds me of the upperclassman trashy and depressed sorority girl sluts who glorified being promiscuous to freshman girls and got off on pressuring teen girls into binge drinking and hooking up with frat boys.

Misery loves company. Miserable broken people hate pure clean people.

Someone like OP raised a kid addicted to a phone and seethes knowing parents are able to raise their kids without being corrupted by social media and iPhone addiction.

Harsh but true.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's a good way to keep the kids out of the "fast" crowd until at least high school.

Why is that a goal?

So they delay drinking, sending nudes, hooking up, and mean girl / bullying behavior on social media.

It's not just bad for their brains, most kids aren't mature enough to handle everything on the web.

This is one of the main reasons I do not want my kid to have a smart phone until at least hight school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My daughter is on 8th grade and she’s constantly texting and FaceTiming friends. They’ve gotten to the point where they essentially plan their own social lives and don’t really involve their parents Briley they need a ride somewhere.

However, she has a couple friends who don’t have phones. I think their parents are the type who are waiting for high school. Anyway, I don’t think they realize how much their kids are being left out. Not just of the group chats and socializing that takes place online but in organizing get togethers outside of school. They have to involve their moms and get their moms to text other moms in order to arrange meet ups outside of school like we’re still arranging playdates. It’s awkward. My daughter went to a party over the weekend and one poor girl was left out because the party thrower didn’t want to text this girl’s mom about it. I felt bad hearing the story.

Anyway, I think 7th and 8th graders should have phones. They need it for socializing.

ITA. It is a real social hardship not to be able to communicate the way their peers do. - mom of 3 teen/YA boys.

Yep, two middle school girls in NYC communicated their way to a coroner last month. An urban adventure that went terribly wrong.

In 10 years, none of the "no phone" parents will regret the decision, and many of the "pro phone" parents unfortunately will. Read the NYTimes story about the boy who became addicted to his Game of Thrones chatbot and then committed suicide. The Mom thought she was being careful and was strict about social media, but didn't even know to look out for chatbots.

I don't let extreme cases dictate my parenting choices

[Anonymous]

I heard that if you're ready for your kids childhood to end, then give them a phone. It's so sad that parents want that to happen so fast

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We know so much more about the negative effects of giving teens phones and social media. There are other ways to stay connected without a smart phone. Kids without phones are missing out on the bullying, depression/anxiety, and brain damage that come with early and excessive phone use. These are great resources to educate yourself on this topic

Scrolling to death podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/scrolling-2-death/id1700331740

Instagram account:

She didn’t say social media

I know. ????

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t. I have an 11 year old with a dumb phone and I wish we didn’t need that. I am close with 3 families that didn’t give a phone at all until 15 or 16 and those are the smartest, most engaged kids I know. They get out in the real world and aren’t holed up in their rooms most evenings. I admire it. They’ll do great.

Yes, we didn’t give our sons phones until they were 15. It was totally fine. They have outside interests…one is sporty and the other loves to tinker with cars, engines, welding, etc. they are lovely young men if Indo Sat so myself.

A fair number of our community also delays giving kids phones, which helps. They don’t use computers at school. Their school is very traditional, with lots of activity and they learn Latin and Ancient Greek. I am not worried about them at all. I raised them to be good husbands who cook, clean, and can maintain the home while being thoughtful and present. It is about priorities, and our family prioritizes this.

[Anonymous]

I do feel kind of bad my son is the only one in his friend group without a phone and question if I am making the right decision by holding off. My biggest concern is whether or not he will be able to self regulate once he does get one.

He has a very busy social life on the weekends though and regardless if the friends made plans on their own, I'm confident the parents are still in contact with each other to finalize things. Only time will tell.

[Anonymous]

Lots of parents of 11 year olds posting here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This thread reminds me of the upperclassman trashy and depressed sorority girl sluts who glorified being promiscuous to freshman girls and got off on pressuring teen girls into binge drinking and hooking up with frat boys.

Misery loves company. Miserable broken people hate pure clean people.

Someone like OP raised a kid addicted to a phone and seethes knowing parents are able to raise their kids without being corrupted by social media and iPhone addiction.

See also the atheists who troll the religious forum all day, every day. And the public school parents (some of them probably aren’t even parents) who troll the private school forum all day, every day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Anyway, I think 7th and 8th graders should have phones. They need it for socializing.

If the cost is socializing, as the post outlines, then we are very happy to wait.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's a good way to keep the kids out of the "fast" crowd until at least high school.

Why is that a goal?

So they delay drinking, sending nudes, hooking up, and mean girl / bullying behavior on social media.

It's not just bad for their brains, most kids aren't mature enough to handle everything on the web.

This is one of the main reasons I do not want my kid to have a smart phone until at least hight school.

Yes. My best friends daughter tells me about near nudes getting sent on a fifth grade Catholic school group chat!!

I have an 8th grade boy, no phone. His teachers tell me he is friendly, advocates for himself and comfortable chatting with adults. Is he popular? No. But again what profit is it to gain the world but lose your soul?
My brother and I were exposed to porn at a young age so I am hyper vigilant I admit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Anyway, I think 7th and 8th graders should have phones. They need it for socializing.

If the cost is socializing, as the post outlines, then we are very happy to wait.

They need it for socializing? Why's it a need?

[Anonymous]

Briley come collect your mom please.

[Anonymous]

My teens are older now. I was worried about this when they were younger but I’m happy to say it’s been totally fine. Maybe we are just lucky.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My daughter is on 8th grade and she’s constantly texting and FaceTiming friends. They’ve gotten to the point where they essentially plan their own social lives and don’t really involve their parents Briley they need a ride somewhere.

However, she has a couple friends who don’t have phones. I think their parents are the type who are waiting for high school. Anyway, I don’t think they realize how much their kids are being left out. Not just of the group chats and socializing that takes place online but in organizing get togethers outside of school. They have to involve their moms and get their moms to text other moms in order to arrange meet ups outside of school like we’re still arranging playdates. It’s awkward. My daughter went to a party over the weekend and one poor girl was left out because the party thrower didn’t want to text this girl’s mom about it. I felt bad hearing the story.

Anyway, I think 7th and 8th graders should have phones. They need it for socializing.

ITA. It is a real social hardship not to be able to communicate the way their peers do. - mom of 3 teen/YA boys.

Yep, two middle school girls in NYC communicated their way to a coroner last month. An urban adventure that went terribly wrong.

In 10 years, none of the "no phone" parents will regret the decision, and many of the "pro phone" parents unfortunately will. Read the NYTimes story about the boy who became addicted to his Game of Thrones chatbot and then committed suicide. The Mom thought she was being careful and was strict about social media, but didn't even know to look out for chatbots.

I don't let extreme cases dictate my parenting choices

What about studies on kids and phone use?