I finally got a dog for the family. It is the worse decision of my life.

[Anonymous]

OP here. Thank you for this. People are hating on me but I don’t see it as any different as someone coming online and asking for help for their crying baby or when they will sleep through the night, etc. I am asking for advice so that hopefully the feeling of being annoyed will lessen. What is a good amount to walk her? She is 20lbs. We do 20 minute walks every two hours. We do not have a fenced in backyard. Would it be best to get one to help burn more energy? Even when the kids take her out, I have to be out there because I don’t want her running off. I don’t like the idea of a shock collar. We put her in the crate at night with no issues. Putting her in during the day seems so sad to me. She just stares at me. I can’t see putting her in at night and then during the day at times too? We have a deck that has no stairs. We chill out there but again, don’t want her to be unsupervised so I have to be out there too. Most people are saying she will grow out with this and I will keep going. We are getting her trained next month. She knows sit and come. She just pulls at the leash. Again, I think she needs to run but we have no fence. No, we never had a dog before.


I just posted about daycare. On the days our dog is home, she takes an afternoon crate nap from 1-3ish (she also follows this schedule at daycare). She is ready and waiting at 12:30 to go into her crate with her frozen yogurt Kong. Then I usually run errands or nap or go to the gym. Put the crate in a quiet, no traffic area (ours is in our basement family room).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why did you want a dog? Dogs are pack animals. You are part of her pack. Of course she wants to be with you!

You do not have the right temperament for a dog. Hopefully your family members are nicer and dog people.

OP here. Fair enough, I may not have the right temperament for one. I am very much an introvert and thought it would actually be a great idea! However, I get no break from her. I am very nice to her. I do not know why people assume I am not? Do we never find our kids annoying or needing a break from our kids? No one even answered my questions, what helps? We put our kids in aftercare and summer camps…. Would doggy daycare help?

Doggy day care is terrible for most dogs. Imagine being at a nightclub for 8 hours and you can't get away from the annoying guy.

Dog walker could help. How about doing fun activities with her? Nose work? Rally?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Give it back.

OP here. She has a good life. We are doing everything we need to do for her. I just find her annoying. Not sure that is a good enough reason to return her is it? She doesn’t know I find her annoying, I assume. She is very excited every time she sees me be it I am gone for work, get off the toilet, etc.

I don’t know you but I already hate you.

NP.

I’m a massive dog lover but you need very serious psychological help. This is a very unhealthy reaction.

[Anonymous]

I can totally see this. For the first two years of our dog’s life, I regretted ever getting her. It was so hard. She is currently four years old and I ADORE her. She is amazing.

I don’t know what to tell you, other than most dogs settle down once they are a few years old. At least I think they do. It did help for me to set a routine when she was a puppy- focused time on her (playing, walks, training etc) then “downtime” for her afterward. Repeat all day. Downtime would occur in the crate when very young, and then in a quiet comfortable room/space after that. She did not have free run of the house 24/7 when she was a puppy, nor was I willing to focus on her 24/7 (and dogs do not require that, IMO). If I had something to do and didn’t want her underfoot, or had guests etc- time for her downtime.

I didn’t read all the replies but your DH/family should be helping as well. DH and I traded off, and the kids helped also. Doggy daycare was not feasible for us but some enjoy it- or maybe a dog walker?

Also - our dog has always been very well treated. I WFH, DH also spends time with her daily, several walks a day, weekly long hikes etc, the kids play with her daily-she gets tons of attention. But it is normal to frustrated and it is ok to set boundaries and put the dog away to rest when you are otherwise occupied.

[Anonymous]

Wow, OP, you could be me! Our dog is small and cuddly, but like Velcro. Though I love him, he is annoying. I am not the caretaker type. I’m happy to help, but having something utterly dependent on me for the next 15 years is deeply frustrating. As you say, the dog’s routine now rules our life and pocketbook. Every vacation is a decision to board or take him, but there are problems with both. Leave him, and it is expensive, he must be bathed afterward, and he’s anxious for a week. Take him, and we pay fees at the hotel, don’t feel completely free to execute our agenda, and deal with his reactions to every frickin’ sound from another room. It is exhausting. I too am the dog’s go-to person, but I wish it was another family member.

I think people who crave dogs have excess time on their hands and love to have something that’s totally dependent on them. They love that something NEEDS them, and thus, they believe that they make a difference in the world. As for me, I can find fulfillment in other ways. Constant dependence is irritating and a nuisance to me.

[Anonymous]

What breed is the dog?

[Anonymous]

This is why I have cats. Very friendly and outdoing cats, but nothing like dogs. I cared for my sibling's dog for a long weekend and couldn't wait to give it back. I love dogs ... I just don't want to own one. Way, way more work than a cat.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

OP here. Thank you for this. People are hating on me but I don’t see it as any different as someone coming online and asking for help for their crying baby or when they will sleep through the night, etc. I am asking for advice so that hopefully the feeling of being annoyed will lessen. What is a good amount to walk her? She is 20lbs. We do 20 minute walks every two hours. We do not have a fenced in backyard. Would it be best to get one to help burn more energy? Even when the kids take her out, I have to be out there because I don’t want her running off. I don’t like the idea of a shock collar. We put her in the crate at night with no issues. Putting her in during the day seems so sad to me. She just stares at me. I can’t see putting her in at night and then during the day at times too? We have a deck that has no stairs. We chill out there but again, don’t want her to be unsupervised so I have to be out there too. Most people are saying she will grow out with this and I will keep going. We are getting her trained next month. She knows sit and come. She just pulls at the leash. Again, I think she needs to run but we have no fence. No, we never had a dog before.

I just posted about daycare. On the days our dog is home, she takes an afternoon crate nap from 1-3ish (she also follows this schedule at daycare). She is ready and waiting at 12:30 to go into her crate with her frozen yogurt Kong. Then I usually run errands or nap or go to the gym. Put the crate in a quiet, no traffic area (ours is in our basement family room).

Not a dog expert but love dogs. My current dog is a husky (not purebred, got from people who were moving and couldn't take her, who got from some backyard breeder). She replaced my previous husky who was a rescue (3yo when we got him so no housebreaking required and very well-behaved, he was found in a rural area as a stray) and had been euthanized due to metastasized cancer (4 months after a perfectly fine well dog check up). She was 11 months old, it was early 2021 so I was working from home. Housebreaking was a challenge (due probably to the move, she had previously lived in an apt).

Instead of 20 min walks every 2 hours I would try a couple of periods a day of pretty intense play. For peeing get a yard lead (that's what I have, although it is on a cable that gives the dog a lot of room to run and play), take the dog out, watch for it to pee or poop, reward, and bring back in. If it wants to play ignore it and tell it to go to the bathroom. Also spend a little time during the day teaching some basics (sit, stay, lie down)--this also provides attention. Get it to a dog park once a week for socialization.

[Anonymous]

No hate from me. But as a dog lover who married a non-dog lover (my husband's didn't have pets), I honestly think you may never bond with your pup. May want to consider what that means to you.

My husband and I have now had two dogs and it took him years and years to feel affection for our dogs. He's just not hardwired that way.

I on the other hand instantly love every dog I've ever met. It's not good or bad, just our experiences shaping our responses.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So your brought a new creature into your house and you’re surprised it wants to bond with you? That’s what you want it to do! That’s what all creatures seek- a connection. It takes months for a dog to get used to a new environment.

+1. Were you people not raised with a dog?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No hate from me. But as a dog lover who married a non-dog lover (my husband's didn't have pets), I honestly think you may never bond with your pup. May want to consider what that means to you.

My husband and I have now had two dogs and it took him years and years to feel affection for our dogs. He's just not hardwired that way.

I on the other hand instantly love every dog I've ever met. It's not good or bad, just our experiences shaping our responses.

This isn't true. I didn't want a dog but we got one for my husband. She bonded with him more as he was working from home and would walk and play with her more. After about a year, she bonded with me more and now she's equally bonded to both of us and sometimes prefers me, sometimes him. I wouldn't get a dog for me, but we are bonded.

[Anonymous]

Dogs/pets are huge responsibilities.
We have one .. Will be our first last and only.

[Anonymous]

Wow, I only read the first page of responses & am surprised at all of you that claim that you do not like dogs.

Why the heck are any of you on a pet forum then????!! 🫤

OP, you may not be an animal person.
After a few mos., if you find yourself annoyed at just the mere presence of this dog then it is highly unlikely you will feel any different later on.

It isn’t fair to this dog for you to feel this way > do the right thing here + rehome him to a family that can provide the unconditional love ❤️ that he deserves.

This is the first time I have advised to rehome a pet on here.
The pup is still young enough that there will be many families eager to adopt him.

I wish you all the best!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I can totally see this. For the first two years of our dog’s life, I regretted ever getting her. It was so hard. She is currently four years old and I ADORE her. She is amazing.

I don’t know what to tell you, other than most dogs settle down once they are a few years old. At least I think they do. It did help for me to set a routine when she was a puppy- focused time on her (playing, walks, training etc) then “downtime” for her afterward. Repeat all day. Downtime would occur in the crate when very young, and then in a quiet comfortable room/space after that. She did not have free run of the house 24/7 when she was a puppy, nor was I willing to focus on her 24/7 (and dogs do not require that, IMO). If I had something to do and didn’t want her underfoot, or had guests etc- time for her downtime.

I didn’t read all the replies but your DH/family should be helping as well. DH and I traded off, and the kids helped also. Doggy daycare was not feasible for us but some enjoy it- or maybe a dog walker?

Also - our dog has always been very well treated. I WFH, DH also spends time with her daily, several walks a day, weekly long hikes etc, the kids play with her daily-she gets tons of attention. But it is normal to frustrated and it is ok to set boundaries and put the dog away to rest when you are otherwise occupied.

This.

[Anonymous]

Sorry OP - I find my dog very annoying as well. He’s constantly in my way and under my feet. He’s 20 lbs as well and I walk him much longer than 20 minutes for at least 3 of his daily walks - more like 45-60 minutes (but when he was a puppy sometimes up to 90 minutes). That tires him out enough to take a nap and leave me in peace. The other 4 walks are shorter (10-30 mins). We send him to daycare on the weekends so we can enjoy life without spending the whole day walking the dog.