Do you say anything if visiting family are dressed inappropriately?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It depends. Depending on other factors, a miniskirt can be perfectly cute and appropriate or vulgar and inappropriate.

Like a full bodied young girl in tight micro mini with bare legs and high heels and face full of makeup with lash extensions would look vulgar in a lunch country club crowd. If this were my niece, I would have a chat with my sister. It might be unpleasant for niece to get that feedback, but it’s best if it comes from smn who cares vs her being a laughing stock at a similar party in the future.

OP, was that the case?

[Anonymous]

I MIGHT mention to my niece later that that skirt doesn’t allow her to move and sit without showing her underwear. A factual statement, delivered without judgement.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If it’s snowing and they are wearing a bathing suit I tell them they might get pneumonia. That is inappropriate. Miniskirts are literally 80 years old. Your grandmother probably wore one. Also if the teen was a male wearing bike shorts would you still care so much?

Ummm. I have boys, and there is no way in hell they would be allowed to go to a family party in bike shorts.

That’s just disrespectful.

I think the difficulty with women’s clothing is that a mini skirt is not necessarily disrespectful. One can be “dressed up” in a miniskirt. However, it’s pretty much impossible for a man to be “dressed up” in shorts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your guests are rude if they're side eyeing a kid's mini skirt.

Mini skirts so short that underwear shows are worn to attract attention. Therefore there is no judgment for people who notice. Don’t be ridiculous.

She was wearing underwear. Nobody saw anything. If she was visibly commando, that’s the only time anyone should take her aside.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh boy. Just wait till your kids are that age. Of course its not your place.

NP and my kids are that age and yes I would tell them they need to dress appropriate to the situation. This is something we have discussed through their childhood dressing appropriately for a situation and I haven’t had to tell them how to dress appropriately since they were much younger.

The teen's outfit was age and event appropriate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
But... a mini skirt is an appropriate choice for a friends and relatives casual party.

Are you part of a particular religious community, OP, that mini skirts shock you that much?!?!

I truly don't get it. Wardrobe malfunctions should be separated from the choice of wearing normal clothes, such as mini skirts.

No, it’s really not. And they’ve been to this party nearly ten years in a row. They and she knows nobody has worn such a skirt. People are dressed for the country club or church, not a Vegas nightclub.

OMG OP, have you been to a country club? Of course girls wear miniskirts and even *gasp* skimpy bikinis by the pool. You seem to have the idea that at a “country club” people wear riding tweeds and wellies like Victorian England. “Chip, chip Rodger old chap, let’s hunt some fox after lunch.”

+1 OP, you are just out of touch. The party may have been going on for 10 years, but a decade is a long time for fashion trends and changes. If you as the host wanted a costume party where everyone dressed for a old timey fox hunt, the invite should say so.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think next year the niece should arrive in oversized, sloppy sweat pants.

It would be more respectful.

What is disrespectful about a miniskirt?

[Anonymous]

This is what women that age wear, OP. Get over it.

[Anonymous]

This post is so not what I thought it would be. If I can get my teenager out of sweatpants and into a mini skirt, it’s a win in my house! That is totally appropriate attire for a holiday event.

Appropriate adults know to not look when someone in a mini skirt bends down. That’s grandmas fault she saw underwear. And I’m side eyeing grandma.

[Anonymous]

No, you don't say anything.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
But... a mini skirt is an appropriate choice for a friends and relatives casual party.

Are you part of a particular religious community, OP, that mini skirts shock you that much?!?!

I truly don't get it. Wardrobe malfunctions should be separated from the choice of wearing normal clothes, such as mini skirts.

No, it’s really not. And they’ve been to this party nearly ten years in a row. They and she knows nobody has worn such a skirt. People are dressed for the country club or church, not a Vegas nightclub.

What rock do you live under? I don’t even have daughters and I know that very short skirts are the norm (as are very very short shorts in shorts-appropriate situations).

[Anonymous]

While not popular, there are events where appropriate dress should be observed. It's more about making other people feel comfortable and not making awkward situations.

At a high school winter concert some of the girls in the front row of the orchestra sat with their knees open providing a direct visual of their crotch. They wore black dresses as directed by the music teacher but he neglected to understand that most of these kids are very working class (think Queens and Bay Ridge) and probably never wore a dress in their lives.
I sent a note suggesting that mothers remind their daughters how to sit in a dress and was attacked for it just like so many here are doing. There was no follow up when I suggested that these events are also about comportment and polish for the eventual job interviews these kids will have to go on. HR would think these kids sitting manspread style grew up in a barnyard.

If you're not going to dress or behave that way for a job interview then you shouldn't dress or behave that way for other social events. Showing up in an outfit that is distracting and puts others in an awkward situation simply reflects poorly on the wearer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:While not popular, there are events where appropriate dress should be observed. It's more about making other people feel comfortable and not making awkward situations.

At a high school winter concert some of the girls in the front row of the orchestra sat with their knees open providing a direct visual of their crotch. They wore black dresses as directed by the music teacher but he neglected to understand that most of these kids are very working class (think Queens and Bay Ridge) and probably never wore a dress in their lives.
I sent a note suggesting that mothers remind their daughters how to sit in a dress and was attacked for it just like so many here are doing. There was no follow up when I suggested that these events are also about comportment and polish for the eventual job interviews these kids will have to go on. HR would think these kids sitting manspread style grew up in a barnyard.

If you're not going to dress or behave that way for a job interview then you shouldn't dress or behave that way for other social events. Showing up in an outfit that is distracting and puts others in an awkward situation simply reflects poorly on the wearer.

She wasn't on stage or at a job interview; she was at a family house party wearing totally normal teen dress clothes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your guests are rude if they're side eyeing a kid's mini skirt.

Mini skirts so short that underwear shows are worn to attract attention. Therefore there is no judgment for people who notice. Don’t be ridiculous.

She was wearing underwear. Nobody saw anything. If she was visibly commando, that’s the only time anyone should take her aside.

And so what if she was commando? Whats the big deal showing some cheek here or skin there. You cannot police your guests clothes or thoughts. Only thing as host you can do is suggest a dress code if you are worried about undressed guests and hopefully guests respect your home and space. Otherwise ask them to cover up or leave if you are uncomfortable and do not invite them over next time.

[Anonymous]

What is “cozy business casual?”