S/O: How are you preparing your SONS to be respectful and safe, and to protect themselves?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How is your DS going to protect himself in this scenario? He met a girl at a frat party, took her back to the dorm room and had consensual sex with her. The next day, someone labeled her as a wh_re, so she reported to campus police that your son raped her. Regardless of the outcome, your DD's reputation is already damaged.

I have a DS at a school that's been in the news for sexual assault problem, and unfortunately, the answer is that he doesn't take her back to his dorm room in the first place. Fair? No. But it's the world we live in right now.

Even if they have consensual sex in her dorm room, she can report him to the police later that he raped her. It is a no win situation for guys.

Yes. I'm under no delusions that he'll have sex while he's there, but hopefully he'll think twice about it, especially since this school is under a microscope and these are technically his colleagues. Niche situation, though. I wouldn't be so hopeful at a regular college, all you can do is warn him about the ways the hookups can go wrong.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I tried everything I could -no video games, no violent movies or tv, no toy guns or swords or any violent type play at all. Encouraged empathy and peaceful problem solving and anger management (I’m a behavioral scientist).
Society influences won and he is violent and has assaulted women.
However, if I hadn’t raised him as I did, I know he’d be 100 x worse.
I’ve long admired how boys are raised in other cultures, I think our culture in the USA is dangerous.
We excuse and allow bad behavior and mistreatment of women.
This is not keeping boys safe, this is pushing them to be violent.

I want to thank you for posting. You are getting some nasty comments, but there are SO MANY men who assault women. Probably quite a few of the posters on this thread. They don't want to admit it, or want to blame the woman, but it comes down to the men. They can be raised by great parents, and still end up raping or assaulting someone. It serves no one to brush it under the rug. I'm sorry your son is a predator, it cant be easy to live with that.

This poster was not a good parent.

You really think that every single male who commits a crime had some sort of awful childhood? Many had normal, caring parents. This isn't some sort of poverty problem you can ignore and think it will never happen to you. Men of all backgrounds commit crimes.

Where did I say this? I said THIS POSTER was not a good parent.

And you don't know that anon poster to know if they were a good parent or not. Quite an assumption on your part just because they were brave enough to post about their kid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I tried everything I could -no video games, no violent movies or tv, no toy guns or swords or any violent type play at all. Encouraged empathy and peaceful problem solving and anger management (I’m a behavioral scientist).
Society influences won and he is violent and has assaulted women.
However, if I hadn’t raised him as I did, I know he’d be 100 x worse.
I’ve long admired how boys are raised in other cultures, I think our culture in the USA is dangerous.
We excuse and allow bad behavior and mistreatment of women.
This is not keeping boys safe, this is pushing them to be violent.

I want to thank you for posting. You are getting some nasty comments, but there are SO MANY men who assault women. Probably quite a few of the posters on this thread. They don't want to admit it, or want to blame the woman, but it comes down to the men. They can be raised by great parents, and still end up raping or assaulting someone. It serves no one to brush it under the rug. I'm sorry your son is a predator, it cant be easy to live with that.

Disagree with premise. There are not “SO MANY” men who assault women.

Huh? There literally are.

No there LITTERALY aren’t. Perhaps stop hating men and you’ll see that.

I don't hate men, but I recognize that more men rape women than the reverse. Reality =/= hating men.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I tried everything I could -no video games, no violent movies or tv, no toy guns or swords or any violent type play at all. Encouraged empathy and peaceful problem solving and anger management (I’m a behavioral scientist).
Society influences won and he is violent and has assaulted women.
However, if I hadn’t raised him as I did, I know he’d be 100 x worse.
I’ve long admired how boys are raised in other cultures, I think our culture in the USA is dangerous.
We excuse and allow bad behavior and mistreatment of women.
This is not keeping boys safe, this is pushing them to be violent.

I want to thank you for posting. You are getting some nasty comments, but there are SO MANY men who assault women. Probably quite a few of the posters on this thread. They don't want to admit it, or want to blame the woman, but it comes down to the men. They can be raised by great parents, and still end up raping or assaulting someone. It serves no one to brush it under the rug. I'm sorry your son is a predator, it cant be easy to live with that.

Disagree with premise. There are not “SO MANY” men who assault women.

There are far more men who assault women (and men) than there are women. 80% of violent crimes are committed by men. For sexual crimes? 94%. I'm not sure what you are disagreeing with.

The majority of violent crimes are committed by persistent, repeat offenders. So no, there are NOT “so many” men out there assaulting women (and men).

https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC3969807/

Bro, that's sweden. Not USA.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I tried everything I could -no video games, no violent movies or tv, no toy guns or swords or any violent type play at all. Encouraged empathy and peaceful problem solving and anger management (I’m a behavioral scientist).
Society influences won and he is violent and has assaulted women.
However, if I hadn’t raised him as I did, I know he’d be 100 x worse.
I’ve long admired how boys are raised in other cultures, I think our culture in the USA is dangerous.
We excuse and allow bad behavior and mistreatment of women.
This is not keeping boys safe, this is pushing them to be violent.

I want to thank you for posting. You are getting some nasty comments, but there are SO MANY men who assault women. Probably quite a few of the posters on this thread. They don't want to admit it, or want to blame the woman, but it comes down to the men. They can be raised by great parents, and still end up raping or assaulting someone. It serves no one to brush it under the rug. I'm sorry your son is a predator, it cant be easy to live with that.

This poster was not a good parent.

You really think that every single male who commits a crime had some sort of awful childhood? Many had normal, caring parents. This isn't some sort of poverty problem you can ignore and think it will never happen to you. Men of all backgrounds commit crimes.

Where did I say this? I said THIS POSTER was not a good parent.

And you don't know that anon poster to know if they were a good parent or not. Quite an assumption on your part just because they were brave enough to post about their kid.

She overcorrected and feminized her child. Her intentions were good, but come on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I tried everything I could -no video games, no violent movies or tv, no toy guns or swords or any violent type play at all. Encouraged empathy and peaceful problem solving and anger management (I’m a behavioral scientist).
Society influences won and he is violent and has assaulted women.
However, if I hadn’t raised him as I did, I know he’d be 100 x worse.
I’ve long admired how boys are raised in other cultures, I think our culture in the USA is dangerous.
We excuse and allow bad behavior and mistreatment of women.
This is not keeping boys safe, this is pushing them to be violent.

I want to thank you for posting. You are getting some nasty comments, but there are SO MANY men who assault women. Probably quite a few of the posters on this thread. They don't want to admit it, or want to blame the woman, but it comes down to the men. They can be raised by great parents, and still end up raping or assaulting someone. It serves no one to brush it under the rug. I'm sorry your son is a predator, it cant be easy to live with that.

Disagree with premise. There are not “SO MANY” men who assault women.

Huh? There literally are.

No there LITTERALY aren’t. Perhaps stop hating men and you’ll see that.

I don't hate men, but I recognize that more men rape women than the reverse. Reality =/= hating men.

You previous post reeked of hatred for men, but sure, try to walk it back now. I hope you don’t have sons.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I tried everything I could -no video games, no violent movies or tv, no toy guns or swords or any violent type play at all. Encouraged empathy and peaceful problem solving and anger management (I’m a behavioral scientist).
Society influences won and he is violent and has assaulted women.
However, if I hadn’t raised him as I did, I know he’d be 100 x worse.
I’ve long admired how boys are raised in other cultures, I think our culture in the USA is dangerous.
We excuse and allow bad behavior and mistreatment of women.
This is not keeping boys safe, this is pushing them to be violent.

I want to thank you for posting. You are getting some nasty comments, but there are SO MANY men who assault women. Probably quite a few of the posters on this thread. They don't want to admit it, or want to blame the woman, but it comes down to the men. They can be raised by great parents, and still end up raping or assaulting someone. It serves no one to brush it under the rug. I'm sorry your son is a predator, it cant be easy to live with that.

Disagree with premise. There are not “SO MANY” men who assault women.

There are far more men who assault women (and men) than there are women. 80% of violent crimes are committed by men. For sexual crimes? 94%. I'm not sure what you are disagreeing with.

They are the same pool of men over and over. The pool is relatively small but active. Most men don’t engage is violent activities.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I tried everything I could -no video games, no violent movies or tv, no toy guns or swords or any violent type play at all. Encouraged empathy and peaceful problem solving and anger management (I’m a behavioral scientist).
Society influences won and he is violent and has assaulted women.
However, if I hadn’t raised him as I did, I know he’d be 100 x worse.
I’ve long admired how boys are raised in other cultures, I think our culture in the USA is dangerous.
We excuse and allow bad behavior and mistreatment of women.
This is not keeping boys safe, this is pushing them to be violent.

I want to thank you for posting. You are getting some nasty comments, but there are SO MANY men who assault women. Probably quite a few of the posters on this thread. They don't want to admit it, or want to blame the woman, but it comes down to the men. They can be raised by great parents, and still end up raping or assaulting someone. It serves no one to brush it under the rug. I'm sorry your son is a predator, it cant be easy to live with that.

Disagree with premise. There are not “SO MANY” men who assault women.

There are far more men who assault women (and men) than there are women. 80% of violent crimes are committed by men. For sexual crimes? 94%. I'm not sure what you are disagreeing with.

They are the same pool of men over and over. The pool is relatively small but active. Most men don’t engage is violent activities.

Unfortunately the pool isn't that small. I do agree that most men don't. But many men do. And that is too many.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I tried everything I could -no video games, no violent movies or tv, no toy guns or swords or any violent type play at all. Encouraged empathy and peaceful problem solving and anger management (I’m a behavioral scientist).
Society influences won and he is violent and has assaulted women.
However, if I hadn’t raised him as I did, I know he’d be 100 x worse.
I’ve long admired how boys are raised in other cultures, I think our culture in the USA is dangerous.
We excuse and allow bad behavior and mistreatment of women.
This is not keeping boys safe, this is pushing them to be violent.

I want to thank you for posting. You are getting some nasty comments, but there are SO MANY men who assault women. Probably quite a few of the posters on this thread. They don't want to admit it, or want to blame the woman, but it comes down to the men. They can be raised by great parents, and still end up raping or assaulting someone. It serves no one to brush it under the rug. I'm sorry your son is a predator, it cant be easy to live with that.

This poster was not a good parent.

You really think that every single male who commits a crime had some sort of awful childhood? Many had normal, caring parents. This isn't some sort of poverty problem you can ignore and think it will never happen to you. Men of all backgrounds commit crimes.

Where did I say this? I said THIS POSTER was not a good parent.

And you don't know that anon poster to know if they were a good parent or not. Quite an assumption on your part just because they were brave enough to post about their kid.

She overcorrected and feminized her child. Her intentions were good, but come on.

How is avoiding video games "feminizing"? And how does feminizing a child make them into a sexual offender?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I tried everything I could -no video games, no violent movies or tv, no toy guns or swords or any violent type play at all. Encouraged empathy and peaceful problem solving and anger management (I’m a behavioral scientist).
Society influences won and he is violent and has assaulted women.
However, if I hadn’t raised him as I did, I know he’d be 100 x worse.
I’ve long admired how boys are raised in other cultures, I think our culture in the USA is dangerous.
We excuse and allow bad behavior and mistreatment of women.
This is not keeping boys safe, this is pushing them to be violent.

I want to thank you for posting. You are getting some nasty comments, but there are SO MANY men who assault women. Probably quite a few of the posters on this thread. They don't want to admit it, or want to blame the woman, but it comes down to the men. They can be raised by great parents, and still end up raping or assaulting someone. It serves no one to brush it under the rug. I'm sorry your son is a predator, it cant be easy to live with that.

Disagree with premise. There are not “SO MANY” men who assault women.

There are far more men who assault women (and men) than there are women. 80% of violent crimes are committed by men. For sexual crimes? 94%. I'm not sure what you are disagreeing with.

The majority of violent crimes are committed by persistent, repeat offenders. So no, there are NOT “so many” men out there assaulting women (and men).

https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC3969807/

Bro, that's sweden. Not USA.

Bro you don’t think human beings in Sweden are the same as human beings in the USA?

The results are broadly applicable. Use your brain, please.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I tried everything I could -no video games, no violent movies or tv, no toy guns or swords or any violent type play at all. Encouraged empathy and peaceful problem solving and anger management (I’m a behavioral scientist).
Society influences won and he is violent and has assaulted women.
However, if I hadn’t raised him as I did, I know he’d be 100 x worse.
I’ve long admired how boys are raised in other cultures, I think our culture in the USA is dangerous.
We excuse and allow bad behavior and mistreatment of women.
This is not keeping boys safe, this is pushing them to be violent.

I want to thank you for posting. You are getting some nasty comments, but there are SO MANY men who assault women. Probably quite a few of the posters on this thread. They don't want to admit it, or want to blame the woman, but it comes down to the men. They can be raised by great parents, and still end up raping or assaulting someone. It serves no one to brush it under the rug. I'm sorry your son is a predator, it cant be easy to live with that.

This poster was not a good parent.

You really think that every single male who commits a crime had some sort of awful childhood? Many had normal, caring parents. This isn't some sort of poverty problem you can ignore and think it will never happen to you. Men of all backgrounds commit crimes.

Where did I say this? I said THIS POSTER was not a good parent.

And you don't know that anon poster to know if they were a good parent or not. Quite an assumption on your part just because they were brave enough to post about their kid.

She overcorrected and feminized her child. Her intentions were good, but come on.

How is avoiding video games "feminizing"? And how does feminizing a child make them into a sexual offender?

Someone already explained this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I tried everything I could -no video games, no violent movies or tv, no toy guns or swords or any violent type play at all. Encouraged empathy and peaceful problem solving and anger management (I’m a behavioral scientist).
Society influences won and he is violent and has assaulted women.
However, if I hadn’t raised him as I did, I know he’d be 100 x worse.
I’ve long admired how boys are raised in other cultures, I think our culture in the USA is dangerous.
We excuse and allow bad behavior and mistreatment of women.
This is not keeping boys safe, this is pushing them to be violent.

I want to thank you for posting. You are getting some nasty comments, but there are SO MANY men who assault women. Probably quite a few of the posters on this thread. They don't want to admit it, or want to blame the woman, but it comes down to the men. They can be raised by great parents, and still end up raping or assaulting someone. It serves no one to brush it under the rug. I'm sorry your son is a predator, it cant be easy to live with that.

Disagree with premise. There are not “SO MANY” men who assault women.

There are far more men who assault women (and men) than there are women. 80% of violent crimes are committed by men. For sexual crimes? 94%. I'm not sure what you are disagreeing with.

The majority of violent crimes are committed by persistent, repeat offenders. So no, there are NOT “so many” men out there assaulting women (and men).

https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC3969807/

Bro, that's sweden. Not USA.

Bro you don’t think human beings in Sweden are the same as human beings in the USA?

The results are broadly applicable. Use your brain, please.

Their culture is massively different. I don't think it's comparable to US crimes, no. If you have an article or study on US men I'd be happy to read it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I tried everything I could -no video games, no violent movies or tv, no toy guns or swords or any violent type play at all. Encouraged empathy and peaceful problem solving and anger management (I’m a behavioral scientist).
Society influences won and he is violent and has assaulted women.
However, if I hadn’t raised him as I did, I know he’d be 100 x worse.
I’ve long admired how boys are raised in other cultures, I think our culture in the USA is dangerous.
We excuse and allow bad behavior and mistreatment of women.
This is not keeping boys safe, this is pushing them to be violent.

I want to thank you for posting. You are getting some nasty comments, but there are SO MANY men who assault women. Probably quite a few of the posters on this thread. They don't want to admit it, or want to blame the woman, but it comes down to the men. They can be raised by great parents, and still end up raping or assaulting someone. It serves no one to brush it under the rug. I'm sorry your son is a predator, it cant be easy to live with that.

This poster was not a good parent.

You really think that every single male who commits a crime had some sort of awful childhood? Many had normal, caring parents. This isn't some sort of poverty problem you can ignore and think it will never happen to you. Men of all backgrounds commit crimes.

Where did I say this? I said THIS POSTER was not a good parent.

And you don't know that anon poster to know if they were a good parent or not. Quite an assumption on your part just because they were brave enough to post about their kid.

She overcorrected and feminized her child. Her intentions were good, but come on.

How is avoiding video games "feminizing"? And how does feminizing a child make them into a sexual offender?

Someone already explained this.

Ok sure.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I tried everything I could -no video games, no violent movies or tv, no toy guns or swords or any violent type play at all. Encouraged empathy and peaceful problem solving and anger management (I’m a behavioral scientist).
Society influences won and he is violent and has assaulted women.
However, if I hadn’t raised him as I did, I know he’d be 100 x worse.
I’ve long admired how boys are raised in other cultures, I think our culture in the USA is dangerous.
We excuse and allow bad behavior and mistreatment of women.
This is not keeping boys safe, this is pushing them to be violent.

I want to thank you for posting. You are getting some nasty comments, but there are SO MANY men who assault women. Probably quite a few of the posters on this thread. They don't want to admit it, or want to blame the woman, but it comes down to the men. They can be raised by great parents, and still end up raping or assaulting someone. It serves no one to brush it under the rug. I'm sorry your son is a predator, it cant be easy to live with that.

This poster was not a good parent.

You really think that every single male who commits a crime had some sort of awful childhood? Many had normal, caring parents. This isn't some sort of poverty problem you can ignore and think it will never happen to you. Men of all backgrounds commit crimes.

Where did I say this? I said THIS POSTER was not a good parent.

And you don't know that anon poster to know if they were a good parent or not. Quite an assumption on your part just because they were brave enough to post about their kid.

She overcorrected and feminized her child. Her intentions were good, but come on.

How is avoiding video games "feminizing"? And how does feminizing a child make them into a sexual offender?

Someone already explained this.

Ok sure.

I mean, it's in the thread. Why would I lie?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I tried everything I could -no video games, no violent movies or tv, no toy guns or swords or any violent type play at all. Encouraged empathy and peaceful problem solving and anger management (I’m a behavioral scientist).
Society influences won and he is violent and has assaulted women.
However, if I hadn’t raised him as I did, I know he’d be 100 x worse.
I’ve long admired how boys are raised in other cultures, I think our culture in the USA is dangerous.
We excuse and allow bad behavior and mistreatment of women.
This is not keeping boys safe, this is pushing them to be violent.

I want to thank you for posting. You are getting some nasty comments, but there are SO MANY men who assault women. Probably quite a few of the posters on this thread. They don't want to admit it, or want to blame the woman, but it comes down to the men. They can be raised by great parents, and still end up raping or assaulting someone. It serves no one to brush it under the rug. I'm sorry your son is a predator, it cant be easy to live with that.

This poster was not a good parent.

You really think that every single male who commits a crime had some sort of awful childhood? Many had normal, caring parents. This isn't some sort of poverty problem you can ignore and think it will never happen to you. Men of all backgrounds commit crimes.

Where did I say this? I said THIS POSTER was not a good parent.

And you don't know that anon poster to know if they were a good parent or not. Quite an assumption on your part just because they were brave enough to post about their kid.

She overcorrected and feminized her child. Her intentions were good, but come on.

How is avoiding video games "feminizing"? And how does feminizing a child make them into a sexual offender?

Someone already explained this.

Ok sure.

I mean, it's in the thread. Why would I lie?

I read the entire thread and didn't see it. Maybe I missed it, but I'm not going to re-read 9 pages looking for something that may not even be there.