Does anyone hate how competitive the world has become?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So it appears that people living in ‘great’ school districts are facing more competition and pressure because everyone has money and wants the same colleges and sports etc. If you go further away or to an ‘okay’ school district there will be less competition and less pressure.. big fish little pond..
So why do people keep moving to better/best school districts? Are they seeking competition? Or do they think that by being in a better school district will help them in some way? But clearly its harder for those kids who compete with others like them.

This is a really good question!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So it appears that people living in ‘great’ school districts are facing more competition and pressure because everyone has money and wants the same colleges and sports etc. If you go further away or to an ‘okay’ school district there will be less competition and less pressure.. big fish little pond..
So why do people keep moving to better/best school districts? Are they seeking competition? Or do they think that by being in a better school district will help them in some way? But clearly its harder for those kids who compete with others like them.

When we moved to our county, we looked for the highly-rated high schools, and then we moved to the school zone with a very good but not "best" one. It was intentional. I asked around and did my research online as well, heard concerning things about the best public schools. I did not want my kids around crazy competitive parents, maximum stress and to not be able to do school sports due to strict selection. I am really happy we did this, as my kids are thriving, very good students, able to do two varsity sports each, and without intensity or a large contingent of annoying parents. There are still people who want to be the best or on top, but as a whole it's just not the culture of the school. People tend to be supportive and root for each other.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s just the dc area. Move to the south or Midwest

That’s not true.

I live in the South and people hire professionals to help their kids navigate through high school just so they can get into a middling state university here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So it appears that people living in ‘great’ school districts are facing more competition and pressure because everyone has money and wants the same colleges and sports etc. If you go further away or to an ‘okay’ school district there will be less competition and less pressure.. big fish little pond..
So why do people keep moving to better/best school districts? Are they seeking competition? Or do they think that by being in a better school district will help them in some way? But clearly its harder for those kids who compete with others like them.

This is a really good question!

If you think about it, more competition and pressure will make you into a better student/athlete. There is a big difference between the number one tennis player on the varsity team at Langley HS vs. the number one tennis player at Justice HS. The number six tennis player at Langley HS can probably double bagel the number one tennis player at Justice. The same goes with academics. If you go to a low-level performance school like Justice vs. Langley HS, you are likely not prepared for college.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So it appears that people living in ‘great’ school districts are facing more competition and pressure because everyone has money and wants the same colleges and sports etc. If you go further away or to an ‘okay’ school district there will be less competition and less pressure.. big fish little pond..
So why do people keep moving to better/best school districts? Are they seeking competition? Or do they think that by being in a better school district will help them in some way? But clearly its harder for those kids who compete with others like them.

This is where we’ve landed and I think it’s pretty great for my kids overall. The attitudes on this site about college rankings and travel sports and the endless competition over everything are pretty foreign to me. My teens are having a relatively laid back, pressure-free experience.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:I went to an Ivy League college and I used to interview for the school, but I stopped wasting my time when no one I interviewed ever got in. At least from that, I knew since my kids’ births that elite college admissions was a total crapshoot.

Sports - my oldest is doing great in HS in no cut activities - marching band and crew. I think the important thing is to be a joiner and get involved in literally anything you can enjoy.

College - maybe we are thinking VT or Penn State is more likely than UVA. I think grad school is the new college. I think my kids will likely go to grad school and that will help.

Work - I am honestly not that impressed with the younger people at work these days. I still think there is still a place for people to succeed who are dependable, responsive, and who take initiative to do the hard work.

I have good older role models. My grandmother lived in the same small un-updated ranch house from 1960-2023. You do NOT need a McMansion to be happy. You need to use something like YNAB / Ramit Sethi and take responsibility for your own finances and live within your means.

I don't really understand this mentality. There are tons of underemployed grad school graduates with really massive student loan debt. There are plenty of VT graduates doing well as engineers or other STEM fields, or working for Accenture, etc. Same for Penn State.

I’ve said this to someone else on here before - but my engineer dad has a masters. My spouse is a teacher and gets paid more with a masters. Most of my peers are employed and have graduate degrees. It’s not imperative but I think can be helpful in most fields if you do it right. But you don’t have to agree with me!

If I am not mistaken, a teacher gets an automatic pay bump for having a graduate degree...so, if you become a teacher you would of course go do that. There are similar government jobs that work this way as well.

However, even your examples are a far cry from "grad school is the new college", and you just have anecdotes. To this day, most CEOs (over 50%) have nothing more than a BA/BS.

Some people value education. Others don’t. It is fine if you don’t. I personally think it is the easiest and fastest way to guarantee yourself a six figure income. I earned 200k+ out of grad school at age 27 and that 20 years ago.

That's a silly argument...law school isn't "education", it's vocational training...getting an MBA isn't "education", it's again vocational training and networking.

You even don't seem to value education as you described it as the "easiest and fastest way to guarantee yourself a six-figure income".

You sound dumb. I’m sure we don’t travel in the same circles.

You sound downright moronic. We probably don't because my circle includes CEOs, P/E principals, investment bank co-founders...just my little circle of successful folks without graduate degrees.

Right back at you. The investment bankers, PE, VC people we know mostly all have ivy mbas. I dont know what kind of crap IB cofounders you know.

The rich ones? You know you can’t win this game right, when the actual richest people in the country (vs your fictional friends) don’t have graduate degrees…and many don’t even have college degrees.

I don’t even know why I am wasting time with some random person on the internet. I’m very proud of my ivy degrees. DH had to work hard for his Ivy MD education. That is fine if you don’t value these but we do. My dad was a professor and has 4 degrees.

We are getting older and I don’t really care much about anything anymore. I don’t put pressure on our kids. I really don’t care about your rich friends or mine. My kids are smart and can compete in a highly competitive environment. Most people we socialize with went to grad school and my kids want to attend top colleges. It is fine if you didn’t or don’t want your kids to go to a top college and grad school.

NP. But why are you making these weird flexes? I promise you, there are a lot of doctors making equal or more than your DH that never went to Ivy schools. In fact, most Ivy degree doctors work in academia/research and don’t make very much at all.

This thread is about competition from a young age. Competition includes education. Many people would choose the better college or grad school given the opportunity. If a kid can go to Yale law vs GW, s/he would choose Yale. I’m not sure why people often knock down elite schools. I see the same for private schools like STA, NCS, Sidwell, etc. If is fine if you don’t want this for your children or simply can’t afford it. You don’t have to put others down for it though.

But elite school does not equal higher paying job, not even close. I know many Ivy grads making middle class wages for DC area. I know many no name state university grads making 7 figures.

On average, an ivy grad is much wealthier. They started rich though. Top 1% is much more likely to get accepted into an ivy, more likely being at top .1%.

True on average they make more, but the avg salary for an Ivy grad 10 yrs after graduation is 100k. Meaning 50% of graduates, are making under 100k even 10 yrs into their careers. That is a pretty terrible pay out and I’d be pissed if I clawed my way into an Ivy, worked my tail off there, full payed 400k for my degree and could barely crack 100k salary 10 yrs later. What a waste

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a father of a young boy, I think about this all the time. Things are so different from when I was a kid which wasn't even that long ago. You can't do rec league soccer and more it has to be travel league, summer camp signup started before the New Year, high school kids are doing charity trips to third world countries... This list just goes on and on...

You can do rec soccer. It is a choice. Most kids who do travel soccer will eventually quit and it serves very little purpose.

Rec soccer; pffftt.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So it appears that people living in ‘great’ school districts are facing more competition and pressure because everyone has money and wants the same colleges and sports etc. If you go further away or to an ‘okay’ school district there will be less competition and less pressure.. big fish little pond..
So why do people keep moving to better/best school districts? Are they seeking competition? Or do they think that by being in a better school district will help them in some way? But clearly its harder for those kids who compete with others like them.

This is a really good question!

If you think about it, more competition and pressure will make you into a better student/athlete. There is a big difference between the number one tennis player on the varsity team at Langley HS vs. the number one tennis player at Justice HS. The number six tennis player at Langley HS can probably double bagel the number one tennis player at Justice. The same goes with academics. If you go to a low-level performance school like Justice vs. Langley HS, you are likely not prepared for college.

The flip side of your tennis scenario is that lots of kids who would never even have a chance of stepping on the court at Langley get a chance to play at Justice. And just having that experience can be life changing for a kid. Kids should be able to try things out and do them just for the sake of doing them. It’s shouldn’t always about winning and being the very best.

As for your assertion that kids coming out of a lower performing high school are unprepared for college, you’re just plain wrong in a lot of cases. Kids who have the raw materials and the desire to excel will do fine.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:I went to an Ivy League college and I used to interview for the school, but I stopped wasting my time when no one I interviewed ever got in. At least from that, I knew since my kids’ births that elite college admissions was a total crapshoot.

Sports - my oldest is doing great in HS in no cut activities - marching band and crew. I think the important thing is to be a joiner and get involved in literally anything you can enjoy.

College - maybe we are thinking VT or Penn State is more likely than UVA. I think grad school is the new college. I think my kids will likely go to grad school and that will help.

Work - I am honestly not that impressed with the younger people at work these days. I still think there is still a place for people to succeed who are dependable, responsive, and who take initiative to do the hard work.

I have good older role models. My grandmother lived in the same small un-updated ranch house from 1960-2023. You do NOT need a McMansion to be happy. You need to use something like YNAB / Ramit Sethi and take responsibility for your own finances and live within your means.

I don't really understand this mentality. There are tons of underemployed grad school graduates with really massive student loan debt. There are plenty of VT graduates doing well as engineers or other STEM fields, or working for Accenture, etc. Same for Penn State.

I’ve said this to someone else on here before - but my engineer dad has a masters. My spouse is a teacher and gets paid more with a masters. Most of my peers are employed and have graduate degrees. It’s not imperative but I think can be helpful in most fields if you do it right. But you don’t have to agree with me!

If I am not mistaken, a teacher gets an automatic pay bump for having a graduate degree...so, if you become a teacher you would of course go do that. There are similar government jobs that work this way as well.

However, even your examples are a far cry from "grad school is the new college", and you just have anecdotes. To this day, most CEOs (over 50%) have nothing more than a BA/BS.

Some people value education. Others don’t. It is fine if you don’t. I personally think it is the easiest and fastest way to guarantee yourself a six figure income. I earned 200k+ out of grad school at age 27 and that 20 years ago.

That's a silly argument...law school isn't "education", it's vocational training...getting an MBA isn't "education", it's again vocational training and networking.

You even don't seem to value education as you described it as the "easiest and fastest way to guarantee yourself a six-figure income".

You sound dumb. I’m sure we don’t travel in the same circles.

You sound downright moronic. We probably don't because my circle includes CEOs, P/E principals, investment bank co-founders...just my little circle of successful folks without graduate degrees.

Right back at you. The investment bankers, PE, VC people we know mostly all have ivy mbas. I dont know what kind of crap IB cofounders you know.

The rich ones? You know you can’t win this game right, when the actual richest people in the country (vs your fictional friends) don’t have graduate degrees…and many don’t even have college degrees.

I don’t even know why I am wasting time with some random person on the internet. I’m very proud of my ivy degrees. DH had to work hard for his Ivy MD education. That is fine if you don’t value these but we do. My dad was a professor and has 4 degrees.

We are getting older and I don’t really care much about anything anymore. I don’t put pressure on our kids. I really don’t care about your rich friends or mine. My kids are smart and can compete in a highly competitive environment. Most people we socialize with went to grad school and my kids want to attend top colleges. It is fine if you didn’t or don’t want your kids to go to a top college and grad school.

NP. But why are you making these weird flexes? I promise you, there are a lot of doctors making equal or more than your DH that never went to Ivy schools. In fact, most Ivy degree doctors work in academia/research and don’t make very much at all.

This thread is about competition from a young age. Competition includes education. Many people would choose the better college or grad school given the opportunity. If a kid can go to Yale law vs GW, s/he would choose Yale. I’m not sure why people often knock down elite schools. I see the same for private schools like STA, NCS, Sidwell, etc. If is fine if you don’t want this for your children or simply can’t afford it. You don’t have to put others down for it though.

But elite school does not equal higher paying job, not even close. I know many Ivy grads making middle class wages for DC area. I know many no name state university grads making 7 figures.

On average, an ivy grad is much wealthier. They started rich though. Top 1% is much more likely to get accepted into an ivy, more likely being at top .1%.

True on average they make more, but the avg salary for an Ivy grad 10 yrs after graduation is 100k. Meaning 50% of graduates, are making under 100k even 10 yrs into their careers. That is a pretty terrible pay out and I’d be pissed if I clawed my way into an Ivy, worked my tail off there, full payed 400k for my degree and could barely crack 100k salary 10 yrs later. What a waste

We went to ivy grad schools. Most of the students seemed like they already came from money. I know grad school is different than undergrad but I don’t think anyone I know earns less than 100k.

[Anonymous]

Yes. It’s obnoxious and an overt ploy by the privileged to ensure their kids continue a legacy of…privilege. Not very interesting. That said, it takes an extraordinary amount of money to live half-decently in the US, so I *get it,* but it’s not very much fun.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I went to an Ivy League college and I used to interview for the school, but I stopped wasting my time when no one I interviewed ever got in. At least from that, I knew since my kids’ births that elite college admissions was a total crapshoot.

Sports - my oldest is doing great in HS in no cut activities - marching band and crew. I think the important thing is to be a joiner and get involved in literally anything you can enjoy.

College - maybe we are thinking VT or Penn State is more likely than UVA. I think grad school is the new college. I think my kids will likely go to grad school and that will help.

Work - I am honestly not that impressed with the younger people at work these days. I still think there is still a place for people to succeed who are dependable, responsive, and who take initiative to do the hard work.

I have good older role models. My grandmother lived in the same small un-updated ranch house from 1960-2023. You do NOT need a McMansion to be happy. You need to use something like YNAB / Ramit Sethi and take responsibility for your own finances and live within your means.

I don't really understand this mentality. There are tons of underemployed grad school graduates with really massive student loan debt. There are plenty of VT graduates doing well as engineers or other STEM fields, or working for Accenture, etc. Same for Penn State.

I’ve said this to someone else on here before - but my engineer dad has a masters. My spouse is a teacher and gets paid more with a masters. Most of my peers are employed and have graduate degrees. It’s not imperative but I think can be helpful in most fields if you do it right. But you don’t have to agree with me!

If I am not mistaken, a teacher gets an automatic pay bump for having a graduate degree...so, if you become a teacher you would of course go do that. There are similar government jobs that work this way as well.

However, even your examples are a far cry from "grad school is the new college", and you just have anecdotes. To this day, most CEOs (over 50%) have nothing more than a BA/BS.

Some people value education. Others don’t. It is fine if you don’t. I personally think it is the easiest and fastest way to guarantee yourself a six figure income. I earned 200k+ out of grad school at age 27 and that 20 years ago.

That's a silly argument...law school isn't "education", it's vocational training...getting an MBA isn't "education", it's again vocational training and networking.

You even don't seem to value education as you described it as the "easiest and fastest way to guarantee yourself a six-figure income".

You sound dumb. I’m sure we don’t travel in the same circles.

You sound downright moronic. We probably don't because my circle includes CEOs, P/E principals, investment bank co-founders...just my little circle of successful folks without graduate degrees.

Right back at you. The investment bankers, PE, VC people we know mostly all have ivy mbas. I dont know what kind of crap IB cofounders you know.

The rich ones? You know you can’t win this game right, when the actual richest people in the country (vs your fictional friends) don’t have graduate degrees…and many don’t even have college degrees.

I don’t even know why I am wasting time with some random person on the internet. I’m very proud of my ivy degrees. DH had to work hard for his Ivy MD education. That is fine if you don’t value these but we do. My dad was a professor and has 4 degrees.

We are getting older and I don’t really care much about anything anymore. I don’t put pressure on our kids. I really don’t care about your rich friends or mine. My kids are smart and can compete in a highly competitive environment. Most people we socialize with went to grad school and my kids want to attend top colleges. It is fine if you didn’t or don’t want your kids to go to a top college and grad school.

NP. But why are you making these weird flexes? I promise you, there are a lot of doctors making equal or more than your DH that never went to Ivy schools. In fact, most Ivy degree doctors work in academia/research and don’t make very much at all.

This thread is about competition from a young age. Competition includes education. Many people would choose the better college or grad school given the opportunity. If a kid can go to Yale law vs GW, s/he would choose Yale. I’m not sure why people often knock down elite schools. I see the same for private schools like STA, NCS, Sidwell, etc. If is fine if you don’t want this for your children or simply can’t afford it. You don’t have to put others down for it though.

But elite school does not equal higher paying job, not even close. I know many Ivy grads making middle class wages for DC area. I know many no name state university grads making 7 figures.

On average, an ivy grad is much wealthier. They started rich though. Top 1% is much more likely to get accepted into an ivy, more likely being at top .1%.

True on average they make more, but the avg salary for an Ivy grad 10 yrs after graduation is 100k. Meaning 50% of graduates, are making under 100k even 10 yrs into their careers. That is a pretty terrible pay out and I’d be pissed if I clawed my way into an Ivy, worked my tail off there, full payed 400k for my degree and could barely crack 100k salary 10 yrs later. What a waste

We went to ivy grad schools. Most of the students seemed like they already came from money. I know grad school is different than undergrad but I don’t think anyone I know earns less than 100k.

Apparently at least half of Ivy grads do:
https://www.cnbc.com/amp/2024/06/07/ivy-league-students-mid-career-median-salary.html

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So it appears that people living in ‘great’ school districts are facing more competition and pressure because everyone has money and wants the same colleges and sports etc. If you go further away or to an ‘okay’ school district there will be less competition and less pressure.. big fish little pond..
So why do people keep moving to better/best school districts? Are they seeking competition? Or do they think that by being in a better school district will help them in some way? But clearly its harder for those kids who compete with others like them.

When we moved to our county, we looked for the highly-rated high schools, and then we moved to the school zone with a very good but not "best" one. It was intentional. I asked around and did my research online as well, heard concerning things about the best public schools. I did not want my kids around crazy competitive parents, maximum stress and to not be able to do school sports due to strict selection. I am really happy we did this, as my kids are thriving, very good students, able to do two varsity sports each, and without intensity or a large contingent of annoying parents. There are still people who want to be the best or on top, but as a whole it's just not the culture of the school. People tend to be supportive and root for each other.

"I am not competitive. I intentionally sent my kids to mediocre school so they can be #1"

[Anonymous]

I grew up in a really good school district and then as an adult ended up living in an ok, urban district on the west coast. DH and I liked the neighborhood enough and thought maybe it would be fine and that people who loved to the suburbs for good schools were overreacting or exclusionary. After a couple of years we did put our child in private because her elementary school was not good at all.

Well, now DD is going into middle school and we realize that a large public school would be much better for her and have better opportunities suited to her interests. But our zoned district has made major cuts, will be closing 25% of schools, and eliminating things including advanced classes, music programs, many sports, transportation and other things. And the schools still may come under state control even after all of that. So we are ready to move to a suburb and a “good” district so she can stay on her current math track, continue with a foreign language, and have access to school teams for her sports.

So in my experience people seek out good public districts because in many areas it’s the only way to get a guarantee that you’ll have things- nevermind nice things- in the future. Living in a good district means you’ll be in a community where taxpayers have decided that public schools are a priority and where the community is invests in their schools and puts in the work of oversight and scrutiny to make sure they’re running well. I added that last piece because although my current community is invested in their schools, they haven’t put in the effort to scrutinize graft and shady contracts nor push back against a terrible school board.

[Anonymous]

Your personality and network carries you into big money. The number one trait you need to make big money is sales. As an attorney, business entrepreneur, Dr, executive, pretty much any career except maybe a scientist - people who bring in clients and business make Partners and that's where the money is. You can graduate from Harvard or Yale and be an introvert and you may do fine but you can be a great sales personality who everyone likes graduating from a big enough name state school and make a zillion more. I hire people for a living and know what I'm talking about. I have CMOs and EVPs from nothing schools and I have MBAs from Duke and Stanford. Ain't your resume after you're in the door, it's you!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So it appears that people living in ‘great’ school districts are facing more competition and pressure because everyone has money and wants the same colleges and sports etc. If you go further away or to an ‘okay’ school district there will be less competition and less pressure.. big fish little pond..
So why do people keep moving to better/best school districts? Are they seeking competition? Or do they think that by being in a better school district will help them in some way? But clearly its harder for those kids who compete with others like them.

When we moved to our county, we looked for the highly-rated high schools, and then we moved to the school zone with a very good but not "best" one. It was intentional. I asked around and did my research online as well, heard concerning things about the best public schools. I did not want my kids around crazy competitive parents, maximum stress and to not be able to do school sports due to strict selection. I am really happy we did this, as my kids are thriving, very good students, able to do two varsity sports each, and without intensity or a large contingent of annoying parents. There are still people who want to be the best or on top, but as a whole it's just not the culture of the school. People tend to be supportive and root for each other.

"I am not competitive. I intentionally sent my kids to mediocre school so they can be #1"

No, I sent them to a good school, and they are VERY far from #1!