DD Missed Try Outs

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If the injured girls were on the team previously that was why their spots were held.

That's not how try outs work. Being on a team one season is not a promise to be on the team another season. You'd think someone on a sports forum would know that.

For established teams, that's exactly how tryouts work. Doesn't matter if it is club or HS or whatever, coaches on established teams give great leeway to players already in the fold. They know what they are getting from player X via coachability, athleticism, skill, etc. They also know what they are getting from player X's parents.

Believe me, I've had several kids go through this process. I've had one get an email seconds after the tryout welcoming him to the team. I was at another tryout where the coach said to me and my children at the end of the tryouts be told my child made the team to get a rejection email the next day. Asking the coach why, I was told "oh, Danny decided to play for us and we needed a spot for him" even though Danny never practiced.

I've had one kid go to a tryout for lax. He was there with a bunch of kids but many of the established "stars" weren't there. I asked a parent of one of these stars why their son wasn't there and was told. He already made the team and tryouts are about filling in spots on the margins to get better.

So, you are delusion if you don't think this is what goes on...wait to I tell you about invite only club teams.

Another great example is all the kids invited to winter workouts for the Spring sport. The coach has already been working with them for 3 months and the tryouts are literally to satisfy the AD.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t think it’s reasonable to have a young child think “I need to email my coach” in the middle of a family member dying.

I’d call the principal and ask for a tryout but the coach will be a di$k and say she didn’t make it.

If she’s a lower clansman I’d just stick with the club team since this same coach will be there next year.

I don't think it's reasonable to have a "young child" in high school. Maybe 13 at the youngest.

She's clearly not a senior, she is 15 years old. Yes that is a young child.

I think the issue for me is that if she was too young to be expected to do it herself, then it is the parent’s responsibility. I have one kid who is old enough to communicate with his coach, that is on him. I have one kid that isn't old enough to be that independent. That doesn’t mean we don’t communicate with the coach, that means a parent is responsible.

NP

I think people are insane if you think I’m (or my child) is worrying about sports tryouts during the death of my parent.

Insane!

My kids are D1 athletes and as crazy as coaches are I don’t know one that expects a child or their parent to think of him 1st while a parent is dying.

Literally Insane.

No. It isn't.

"Dear Coach X, My grandfather passed away. I am attending the funeral on the day of the tryouts and I will miss them. How can I make arrangements to try out before or after the official tryouts to be evalutated?

PLayer Y"

Gee...took all of 30 seconds to write that email. An empathetic coach would deal with that by saying "sorry for your loss, let's do X for you."

At the end of the day, OP's kid probably isn't that good. Or at least not good enough to warrant making a spot on the team post tryouts. A good coach, even at public schools, know who is coming in the door with talent. If OP's kid was the 2nd coming of Mia Hamm, there is little doubt he'd make room for her.

OP, did you and/or your spouse manage to call out of work for this funeral? If so, your daughter could have contacted the coach. Stop acting so entitled or she won't make the team next year either.

When my mom died I was in a meeting so I said, I have to go my mom is being rushed to the hospital.

After that I had no contact with work for 2 weeks, my boss called for an update.

When my coworkers go MIA we reach out.

I had no expectations for my employee to reach out to me when her son died in a car accident.

We notice they aren’t at work and reach out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What's the legitimate reason?

Her grandfather died and she was at the Funeral in Ohio.

And was the coach notified before or after she missed tryouts? Was she registered to try out?

Some sports are cut sports and a student not showing up is an easy way to make a cut.

Anyone who is not an ahole piece of sh-- would cut the kid some slack and let her try out or make an accommodation. Even if they did not tell the coach, "contacting the HS lax coach" is not high on the list when a family member passes. This is not the NCAA, NFL. It's HS.

Contact the AD.

But logistically, what is the coach going to do after this extra try-out?

All the athletes have been notified that they've made the team already. Is the coach going to rescind an offer to one of those girls if OP's daughter does well at the tryout. How do you think that poor girls family would react to that scenario?

Coach is not being an a-hole. He held his tryout and he assembled his roster. This is just the way it work

The coach has 2 injured players so there is clearly room in the roster. Also there is no set number to be on the team.

But this isn’t necessarily true. The 2 injured players make up 2 of the roster slots and for some sports there is a hard cap due to uniforms and equipment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t think it’s reasonable to have a young child think “I need to email my coach” in the middle of a family member dying.

I’d call the principal and ask for a tryout but the coach will be a di$k and say she didn’t make it.

If she’s a lower clansman I’d just stick with the club team since this same coach will be there next year.

I don't think it's reasonable to have a "young child" in high school. Maybe 13 at the youngest.

She's clearly not a senior, she is 15 years old. Yes that is a young child.

I think the issue for me is that if she was too young to be expected to do it herself, then it is the parent’s responsibility. I have one kid who is old enough to communicate with his coach, that is on him. I have one kid that isn't old enough to be that independent. That doesn’t mean we don’t communicate with the coach, that means a parent is responsible.

NP

I think people are insane if you think I’m (or my child) is worrying about sports tryouts during the death of my parent.

Insane!

My kids are D1 athletes and as crazy as coaches are I don’t know one that expects a child or their parent to think of him 1st while a parent is dying.

Literally Insane.

No. It isn't.

"Dear Coach X, My grandfather passed away. I am attending the funeral on the day of the tryouts and I will miss them. How can I make arrangements to try out before or after the official tryouts to be evalutated?

PLayer Y"

Gee...took all of 30 seconds to write that email. An empathetic coach would deal with that by saying "sorry for your loss, let's do X for you."

At the end of the day, OP's kid probably isn't that good. Or at least not good enough to warrant making a spot on the team post tryouts. A good coach, even at public schools, know who is coming in the door with talent. If OP's kid was the 2nd coming of Mia Hamm, there is little doubt he'd make room for her.

OP, did you and/or your spouse manage to call out of work for this funeral? If so, your daughter could have contacted the coach. Stop acting so entitled or she won't make the team next year either.

When my mom died I was in a meeting so I said, I have to go my mom is being rushed to the hospital.

After that I had no contact with work for 2 weeks, my boss called for an update.

When my coworkers go MIA we reach out.

I had no expectations for my employee to reach out to me when her son died in a car accident.

We notice they aren’t at work and reach out.

You expect a high school sport coach to notice and reach out to every single student that isn't at tryouts?
In any given high school, for every sport, the majority of the student body will not be trying out. There's no way a coach can chase down every single student and find out if they weren't at tryouts because they just flat out have no interest, or if they weren't at tryouts because a relative died.

[Anonymous]

When my dad passed, I had 1-2 days to arrange travel and I did reach out to the AAU organization holding tryouts on the coming Sunday to inform that my son would miss one of the 2 mandatory tryouts due to a death in the family (or emergency, forgot what I wrote) requiring my son to go out of town. He attended the second tryout and made the team.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What's the legitimate reason?

Her grandfather died and she was at the Funeral in Ohio.

And was the coach notified before or after she missed tryouts? Was she registered to try out?

Some sports are cut sports and a student not showing up is an easy way to make a cut.

Anyone who is not an ahole piece of sh-- would cut the kid some slack and let her try out or make an accommodation. Even if they did not tell the coach, "contacting the HS lax coach" is not high on the list when a family member passes. This is not the NCAA, NFL. It's HS.

Contact the AD.

But logistically, what is the coach going to do after this extra try-out?

All the athletes have been notified that they've made the team already. Is the coach going to rescind an offer to one of those girls if OP's daughter does well at the tryout. How do you think that poor girls family would react to that scenario?

Coach is not being an a-hole. He held his tryout and he assembled his roster. This is just the way it work

Coach is being an ahole. THERE WAS A DEATH in the family, for Fs sake. Kid wasn't in Cancun.

Unless there are no spots available -and that is a valid point- there is no reason not to let the kid have a try out or practice with the team. None. Zero. And at our school, which has some very good sports teams, there are always spots available. They may not dress but they can practice, show up, and vie to dress.

Again, this is high school. There is no reasons for this type of behavior by some wanna-be Nick Saban.

But at our school, which is also very good in sports, there are often roster limits, which means NO spots available. For example, if this is softball, the poor girl just may be out of luck. I'm not saying it doesn't suck. It does.

But you may literally be asking the coach to the cut a girl that has already been offered a spot on the team. That is also pretty sucky and would be a pretty "ahole" move by the coach.

Thus, why I said "unless there aer no spots available."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t think it’s reasonable to have a young child think “I need to email my coach” in the middle of a family member dying.

I’d call the principal and ask for a tryout but the coach will be a di$k and say she didn’t make it.

If she’s a lower clansman I’d just stick with the club team since this same coach will be there next year.

I don't think it's reasonable to have a "young child" in high school. Maybe 13 at the youngest.

She's clearly not a senior, she is 15 years old. Yes that is a young child.

I think the issue for me is that if she was too young to be expected to do it herself, then it is the parent’s responsibility. I have one kid who is old enough to communicate with his coach, that is on him. I have one kid that isn't old enough to be that independent. That doesn’t mean we don’t communicate with the coach, that means a parent is responsible.

NP

I think people are insane if you think I’m (or my child) is worrying about sports tryouts during the death of my parent.

Insane!

My kids are D1 athletes and as crazy as coaches are I don’t know one that expects a child or their parent to think of him 1st while a parent is dying.

Literally Insane.

No. It isn't.

"Dear Coach X, My grandfather passed away. I am attending the funeral on the day of the tryouts and I will miss them. How can I make arrangements to try out before or after the official tryouts to be evalutated?

PLayer Y"

Gee...took all of 30 seconds to write that email. An empathetic coach would deal with that by saying "sorry for your loss, let's do X for you."

At the end of the day, OP's kid probably isn't that good. Or at least not good enough to warrant making a spot on the team post tryouts. A good coach, even at public schools, know who is coming in the door with talent. If OP's kid was the 2nd coming of Mia Hamm, there is little doubt he'd make room for her.

This is not a reasonable expectation for a HIGH SCHOOL coach when a minor's family member has died. Not reasonable on any level. YOU are part of the insanity of youth sports.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You should not reach out to AD or Principal. Your dd should play on a club team, and keep improving, and attend the tryouts next year. If you reach out, even IF coach takes her this year because he has to, unless she's a true prodigy, she won't make the team again. And yes, if the 2 injured players, who have played for the coach before will heal before the season (meaning not an ACL for example), it IS appropriate to hold those 2 spots

And she likely won’t play.

She needs to take this as a life lesson to be responsible for making sure all bases are covered. She could’ve even asked a friend to reach out on her behalf.

Her only response to the coach should be along the lines of ‘thank you for the response. I’m disappointed that I missed the tryouts, but understand your rule. I’m joining club xxx to make sure I’m ready to go next year. Should a roster spot open this year, I’d love the opportunity to try out for it.’

Everyone who says this is a life lesson is being a dick. In the real world, people have empathy, which is something many of you lack. This is a kid who just lost a grandparent. It's not time for "teaching a life lesson."

+ 1000.



Pretty sickening to see adults relishing in a child's sadness. Tells you everything you need to know about them.

I don’t think people are purposely not being empathetic. I think they’re saying that if the coach had no idea of a student with interest and held tryouts as published and set the team, what else can be done for this year?

Have her come to practice, evaluate her level of play and she either makes the team or doesn’t

The spots have already been filled. You can’t just add a player if there is no spot on the team.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Coach was not notified.... before her grandfather died... that he would die around try out.

There was no registration. It was "Be at Madison field 4pm Monday."

She reached out after the funeral, explained the family emergency, and her response was basically too bad so sad.

Her mistake was not reaching out until after the tryout. Team was already set by then. Everything else I am sympathetic towards, but I don't blame the coach on that point.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t think it’s reasonable to have a young child think “I need to email my coach” in the middle of a family member dying.

I’d call the principal and ask for a tryout but the coach will be a di$k and say she didn’t make it.

If she’s a lower clansman I’d just stick with the club team since this same coach will be there next year.

I don't think it's reasonable to have a "young child" in high school. Maybe 13 at the youngest.

She's clearly not a senior, she is 15 years old. Yes that is a young child.

I think the issue for me is that if she was too young to be expected to do it herself, then it is the parent’s responsibility. I have one kid who is old enough to communicate with his coach, that is on him. I have one kid that isn't old enough to be that independent. That doesn’t mean we don’t communicate with the coach, that means a parent is responsible.

NP

I think people are insane if you think I’m (or my child) is worrying about sports tryouts during the death of my parent.

Insane!

My kids are D1 athletes and as crazy as coaches are I don’t know one that expects a child or their parent to think of him 1st while a parent is dying.

Literally Insane.

No. It isn't.

"Dear Coach X, My grandfather passed away. I am attending the funeral on the day of the tryouts and I will miss them. How can I make arrangements to try out before or after the official tryouts to be evalutated?

PLayer Y"

Gee...took all of 30 seconds to write that email. An empathetic coach would deal with that by saying "sorry for your loss, let's do X for you."

At the end of the day, OP's kid probably isn't that good. Or at least not good enough to warrant making a spot on the team post tryouts. A good coach, even at public schools, know who is coming in the door with talent. If OP's kid was the 2nd coming of Mia Hamm, there is little doubt he'd make room for her.

This is not a reasonable expectation for a HIGH SCHOOL coach when a minor's family member has died. Not reasonable on any level. YOU are part of the insanity of youth sports.

It's absolutely a reaonable expecation for HIGH SCHOOL sports.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If the injured girls were on the team previously that was why their spots were held.

That's not how try outs work. Being on a team one season is not a promise to be on the team another season. You'd think someone on a sports forum would know that.

For established teams, that's exactly how tryouts work. Doesn't matter if it is club or HS or whatever, coaches on established teams give great leeway to players already in the fold. They know what they are getting from player X via coachability, athleticism, skill, etc. They also know what they are getting from player X's parents.

Believe me, I've had several kids go through this process. I've had one get an email seconds after the tryout welcoming him to the team. I was at another tryout where the coach said to me and my children at the end of the tryouts be told my child made the team to get a rejection email the next day. Asking the coach why, I was told "oh, Danny decided to play for us and we needed a spot for him" even though Danny never practiced.

I've had one kid go to a tryout for lax. He was there with a bunch of kids but many of the established "stars" weren't there. I asked a parent of one of these stars why their son wasn't there and was told. He already made the team and tryouts are about filling in spots on the margins to get better.

So, you are delusion if you don't think this is what goes on...wait to I tell you about invite only club teams.

Another great example is all the kids invited to winter workouts for the Spring sport. The coach has already been working with them for 3 months and the tryouts are literally to satisfy the AD.

This. By the time basketball tryouts happened, my kid had already played summer and fall league with the high school team, as had several other rising freshmen — freshmen who the coach had already seen at AAU and middle school games for two years. That’s the reality of how high school sports work. The parents on this thread talking about “how tryouts work” who haven’t bothered to do the homework to learn how teams actually work. They shouldn’t be surprised when their imaginary idea of how things work doesn’t match reality.

[Anonymous]

Having had multiple kids attend a high school in FCPS, and play sports something doesn’t add up. First, there are Green Day’s the season before, where she could have met the current team and coaches. There is usually an interest meeting, where the coach is there and people sign up if interested in playing. And lastly, there has never been one day of tryouts for a team, any team my kids have played on. So many opportunities to connect with the coach. If the ad/principal even reads your email, they will ask about these.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What's the legitimate reason?

Her grandfather died and she was at the Funeral in Ohio.

And was the coach notified before or after she missed tryouts? Was she registered to try out?

Some sports are cut sports and a student not showing up is an easy way to make a cut.

Anyone who is not an ahole piece of sh-- would cut the kid some slack and let her try out or make an accommodation. Even if they did not tell the coach, "contacting the HS lax coach" is not high on the list when a family member passes. This is not the NCAA, NFL. It's HS.

Contact the AD.

But logistically, what is the coach going to do after this extra try-out?

All the athletes have been notified that they've made the team already. Is the coach going to rescind an offer to one of those girls if OP's daughter does well at the tryout. How do you think that poor girls family would react to that scenario?

Coach is not being an a-hole. He held his tryout and he assembled his roster. This is just the way it work

Coach is being an ahole. THERE WAS A DEATH in the family, for Fs sake. Kid wasn't in Cancun.

Unless there are no spots available -and that is a valid point- there is no reason not to let the kid have a try out or practice with the team. None. Zero. And at our school, which has some very good sports teams, there are always spots available. They may not dress but they can practice, show up, and vie to dress.

Again, this is high school. There is no reasons for this type of behavior by some wanna-be Nick Saban.

I'm not the OP or the person you quoted.

At my kid's current high school, the only sports that do NOT have a limited number of spots is cross country and track. My older kids went to a different high school than my current high school student, and it was the same there. From what I've heard from friends with high school kids at other schools, it's the same at those schools too.
There just isn't an unlimited amount of spots for sports like soccer, tennis, softball, etc.

+1

The poster that keeps saying "just add her to the roster" either has a child that doesnt play in one of the more competitive sports, or has a child that goes to a school that doesnt routinely fill out a roster

If you have a HS of over 2,000 kids, and they have a few hundred show up to a baseball or softball or basketball tryout, there are going to be cuts.

You can't simply "add a person to the roster after tryouts". It would be incredibly unfair to all the kids that came to the tryout, did their best, but didn't make the team.

And the alternative (cutting an athlete that has already made the team) is even worst.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What's the legitimate reason?

Her grandfather died and she was at the Funeral in Ohio.

And was the coach notified before or after she missed tryouts? Was she registered to try out?

Some sports are cut sports and a student not showing up is an easy way to make a cut.

Anyone who is not an ahole piece of sh-- would cut the kid some slack and let her try out or make an accommodation. Even if they did not tell the coach, "contacting the HS lax coach" is not high on the list when a family member passes. This is not the NCAA, NFL. It's HS.

Contact the AD.

But logistically, what is the coach going to do after this extra try-out?

All the athletes have been notified that they've made the team already. Is the coach going to rescind an offer to one of those girls if OP's daughter does well at the tryout. How do you think that poor girls family would react to that scenario?

Coach is not being an a-hole. He held his tryout and he assembled his roster. This is just the way it work

The coach has 2 injured players so there is clearly room in the roster. Also there is no set number to be on the team.

But this isn’t necessarily true. The 2 injured players make up 2 of the roster slots and for some sports there is a hard cap due to uniforms and equipment.

+1

That PP just doesnt understand how tryouts and rosters work. The injured players are irrelevant.

It sucks for OP's kid. It really does. But there's literally nothing that can be done after the fact. Go play in rec for a season, go to some camsp, and come back in 12 months ready for a "revenge tour"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t think it’s reasonable to have a young child think “I need to email my coach” in the middle of a family member dying.

I’d call the principal and ask for a tryout but the coach will be a di$k and say she didn’t make it.

If she’s a lower clansman I’d just stick with the club team since this same coach will be there next year.

I don't think it's reasonable to have a "young child" in high school. Maybe 13 at the youngest.

She's clearly not a senior, she is 15 years old. Yes that is a young child.

I think the issue for me is that if she was too young to be expected to do it herself, then it is the parent’s responsibility. I have one kid who is old enough to communicate with his coach, that is on him. I have one kid that isn't old enough to be that independent. That doesn’t mean we don’t communicate with the coach, that means a parent is responsible.

NP

I think people are insane if you think I’m (or my child) is worrying about sports tryouts during the death of my parent.

Insane!

My kids are D1 athletes and as crazy as coaches are I don’t know one that expects a child or their parent to think of him 1st while a parent is dying.

Literally Insane.

No. It isn't.

"Dear Coach X, My grandfather passed away. I am attending the funeral on the day of the tryouts and I will miss them. How can I make arrangements to try out before or after the official tryouts to be evalutated?

PLayer Y"

Gee...took all of 30 seconds to write that email. An empathetic coach would deal with that by saying "sorry for your loss, let's do X for you."

At the end of the day, OP's kid probably isn't that good. Or at least not good enough to warrant making a spot on the team post tryouts. A good coach, even at public schools, know who is coming in the door with talent. If OP's kid was the 2nd coming of Mia Hamm, there is little doubt he'd make room for her.

This is not a reasonable expectation for a HIGH SCHOOL coach when a minor's family member has died. Not reasonable on any level. YOU are part of the insanity of youth sports.

There was a tryout and OPs daughter didn't go and therefore didn't make the team. That seems rather sane. Coach had no idea about OPs family problems because they were never told. Insane is expecting that the rules don't apply to you and yours. Is sports a big deal or not? If not, then there is no problem if you don't make the team. You can't have it both ways.